Recurring

[Cloudy146]

Hi everyone ,

It's been a good few weeks since I posted . The depression is back and for the last week have taken to sleeping my life away . I had been artwork for z number of weeks and felt I was coping then last week I was exhausted and now can't seem to motivate myself . I got out in my garden . I feel so low and feel that I have let everyone down .

[Hidden]

Oh cloudy hun here's a massive hug xxx

I was only thinking about you last week and wondering how you were but didn't like to bother you as I knew you were back working. You haven't let anyone down. Can I take a guess that you were ok whilst phasing back in and then after a while you tried to do too much? You have done so well. Are you in the garden today. Please spend some time relaxing and not being too hard on yourself. It's annoying when you have a setback but it will pass lots of love eve x

[Cloudy146 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks eve , for the big hug . I have tears in my eyes . It just feels so hard to keep on fighting , you think that's it I'm back to being me then whack you wake up exhausted and your thinking is all over the place . Hope your doing well .

[Hidden in reply to Cloudy146]

I know it's hard but you should be proud at how far you have come. It wasn't long since you were stuck in bed and you got yourself to a point where you could go back to work (I'm back phasing in in two weeks). I love Mandy's description about putting ourselves first so that we can be the person we use to be. I'm reading the "self help for your nerves" dr Claire weekes and she makes so much sense. She talks about how breakdowns occur and what you can do (with practise) to get well and prevent it. I sent for it from amazon and I can't put it down. Try to get out for a walk if you can and don't think that you are back to square one. It's a bend in the long journey to recovery take care love eve x

[Mandy26]

Hi Cloudy, you haven't let anyone down. If anything you should be feeling positive with yourself that you had this moment of being able to cope/being positive. I think this is common when working to overcome anxiety and depression. There seem to be phases of strength and contentment, but then you sink back into the negativity. I found this for a long time, and it still happens now.

I think the most important thing is to worry about yourself, not think about how your depression is effecting others. Although that is a hard thing to do as we think of ourselves as being 'selfish', my thought is we are being less selfsih in putting ourselves first, because we are taking the steps to getting back to the people we once were, and that is what the people around us want to see.

It is good that you got out in your garden. Enjoy the lovely weather.

xxx