Anxiety.

[Nunk]

I’m reaching out to you all because I’m struggling with a long-term friendship that’s turned sour. It’s a friend and boss I’ve known for nearly 50 years, and we’ve worked together for over 40 years. But in the last 10 years, he’s completely distanced himself from me. I still work for him three days a week, and he works the other two, but our families used to be so close. Now, we barely speak, just exchange texts, and he only talks to me about work. I’ve asked him why so many times, but he just says we’ve grown apart. This year, two of his children got married, and he didn’t even mention it. My wife and I are even godparents to one of them. I’ve learned to cope with it over the years, but sometimes I relapse and have terrible anxiety about it. I worry a lot about having friends and what people think of me. I’m also a constant people pleaser, and I’ve had psychological therapy for these thought processes. I’m hoping someone here can offer some advice or have experienced something similar. I’m really struggling with this, and I would appreciate any help I can get.

[catsrock]

I have definitely had friends distance themselves at times and it's super painful. I don't know if this will help, but I just got the book, "Let Them," by Mel Robbins and it's about letting people do what they do and then deciding how you want to react to it or not. Haven't read it yet, but have seen interviews with her and it really resonated with me.

[Riley2001 in reply to catsrock]

I am a people pleaser as well. This trait has caused immense suffering. The greatest fear a people pleaser has is that of rejection, which is what you are experiencing now. Perhaps you are personalizing it and blaming yourself for it. People do grow apart. I have experienced the same thing with my brother. It hurts but I had to just let him go and say to hell with it. Catsrock is right. Let them.

[Nunk in reply to Riley2001]

Thank you Riley.

[Nunk in reply to catsrock]

Thank you, I’ll have a look.