Anxiety comes and goes no rhyme and reason sometimes

[Bagrat]

I can't work out how to manage my anxiety at present. I use mindfulness and breathwork and try so hard.I had an episode end of November, found unconscious and was admitted with ? A mini stroke (I'm 80). Came home after 48 hours of which I remember very little. I am lots better but still have some days with headache and/or fuzzy headed feeling. Had the family for 2 days ,went back today and I was fine while they were here, now feel off again as they've left. Husband had triple by pass cancelled twice after being admitted twice the last week in November and I had an hourand half drive to collect him the day before my stroke.

It just helps to write it down. I get all sorts of weird symptoms with my anxiety, have done for years, so I should be used to it. But it's still scary.

[linuxusr]

Wow, Bagrat, you are suffering incredibly! You have a lot on your plate! In spite of all that suffering, you sound pretty intact! What's your principal complaint now? Is it anxiety? What kind of anxiety--in your body (somatic anxiety) or in your head (feeling depersonalized like you are losing your sense of self, or worse, anxiety attacks? IMHO, the techniques to reduce and get a little relief work better for anxiety than they do for depression. Depression is a very hard nut to crack! If you can be specific about the type of anxiety you have, possibly I can suggest a strategy that you have not tried. I have suffered many types of anxiety and I have a bunch of techniques I use--besides therapy and medication.

[Bagrat in reply to linuxusr]

Thank you. I think it sounds like somatic as I get physical symptoms which on some days (not that many fortunately) I feel so physically unwell, the only place that helps is my bed. I usually have one grim day then just feel tired the next day. Of course I seem to get bouts of fatigue from the stroke or whatever it was, which muddies the water. I am a bit of a control freak too!!

[linuxusr in reply to Bagrat]

From my psychiatrist here in the Dominican Republic I learned how to resolve somatic anxiety nearly 100%. For me, somatic anxiety is between my neck and my waist (the torso). Is that where you are experiencing it? It seems very strange to describe it as follows but for me it feels like cold, vibrating ice and it's very painful and uncomfortable.

The solution is diagphragmatic breathing. If you want the science behind it, is is this:

Somatic anxiety is provoked by the sympathetic nervous system. Diaphragmatic breathing stimulates the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve engages the parasympathetic nervous system which counters the sympathetic and thereby provides significant relief. The parasympathetic system is involved in rest and digestion.

It doesn't matter if you understand the science behind it or not for diagphragmatic breathing to work. Do you know how to do it? I did not know and I had to learn. A good place to start is YouTube videos. Look for people in the health field, such as nurse practioners. Also, if you don't know how to do it, tell me, and I'll give you detailed steps.

[Bagrat in reply to linuxusr]

I do understand how to do diaphragmatic breathing. I had some counselling from Human Givens Counsellor and she taught me 7 11 breathing. Out breath longer stimulates parasympathetic. I also have tried various vagal stimulation techniques, have you??

[linuxusr]

Great! I have tried other vagal nerve stimulation techniques such as placing ice (frozen in a water bottle) behind my neck. However, I did not evaluate this independently of the breathing. Well, million dollar question: Did the breathing reduce or vanquish your somatic anxiety? For me, for severe somatic anxiety, it vanquished it completely. At first I thought that the technique did not work. There was a delayed response. After about 20 cycles of diag. breathing, a couple minutes passed before I got significant relief. I found that for GAD the diag. breathing helps somewhat but not as much as for somatic anxiety.

Oh, I also read that humming engages the parasympathetic system as the vagus nerve runs through the larynx. I have not confirmed this.

Regarding being a "control freak," for sure, in an anxiety disorder it is paramount to maintain control, and on the other side of the coin, not to lose control. I am doing better with this problem as time goes on, allowing more disorder, doing less cleaning up and so on.

[Bagrat]

I hum as a self soothing occupation. I'm not even aware I'm doing it. It is irritating for friends and family. Retching is also supposed to be good. When brushing teeth, irritating back of tongue for example. I've just been reading about resetting the parasympathetic system by massaging in the ear but not sure I'm doing it right.Diaphragmatic breathing does help with the ectopic heart beats I get and the weird feelings of anxiety.

[Sparklegal]

I hear you. Going thru same thing. Now with holidays over and I don’t have as much to do, the anxiety creeps in. I take Xanax when it’s real bad but other times I get busy with a task or puzzle. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. So no it’s OK to not be OK at times.

[Bagrat]

Thank you. I guess I find it hard to accept it's ok not to be ok sometimes. I truly believe that and often say it to others but somehow find it harder to apply it to me!

[Beavis2022]

I;m so sorry to hear this - no other symptoms with the stroke? Sounds like you're lucky, if not. Husband added stress, no doubt; but who knows? Could have happened anyway. Best of luck to you both...

[Bagrat in reply to Beavis2022]

Thank you,I think I was lucky. I'm already on anticoagulants for a heart condition. Memory still a bit iffy but apart from fatigue, nothing.Anxiety doesn't help but could have been far worse. Husband has some cognitive impairment so I'm the decision maker, which can be hard work.

[Beavis2022 in reply to Bagrat]

You are really lucky - I'm sure you know what could have happened. You have any relatives to talk to, or could help with your husband? Chores, etc.? Keep writing here for support - someone to talk to....

[Bagrat in reply to Beavis2022]

Thanks yes, so lucky. I have a cleaner who is doing extra bit of stuff , changing beds etc. Daughter is fab but 200miles away. Son closer but not a coper!! Has a gift for saying the wrong thing but will text to ask how we are as long as I'm positive!!I've so many friends and neighbours who have offered and helped practically.

4 friends in a whatsapp group very good at listening to my concerns so I am so lucky.

[Beavis2022 in reply to Bagrat]

Wow! That;s great! I have trouble maintaining friendships due to my lifetime depression. Too moody abd insecure to make it last. I rely on websites, mainly, even though I have a great boyfriend; doesn't solve the problems, though.

[Bagrat in reply to Beavis2022]

I have two really good friends one with complex mental health issues and physical probs and another with life long issues with depression. I must say it's sometimes hard, often messaging into a void when I know they haven't the energy to reply. But you can build relationships and even with all their traumas and struggles, they are really good friends to me, so I'm sure you are too as you are such a support to people like me here. If people can't see past your issues to the caring you, you just haven’t found the right friends yet.My biggest step was telling friends about my anxiety " but you're always so good in a crisis" oh yes, but there's a price.

Thank you for your support

[Junella]

You have been through a lot. I am also in 80s and suffer anxiety and take medication. My husband had a stroke April and have been gradually increasing in anxiety as I await a CT scan done regularly for post endometrial surgery.

I try things but lack consistency. Hypertension has to be watched. I don't know how you were able to drive that distance. My husband won't allow me to drive any more after a couple of minor accidents. We have to hire someone.

Before bed at night and in the morning (if I have time) I turn on YouTube TV through Roku and listen to their prayers and uplifting themes. Try to be positive and say stop to unwanted worry. Thoughts can't be trusted. Uncertainty is our enemy at this time of life. It makes everything worse. They say only live in the moment and not think of tomorrows troubles. Without a belief in Jesus, I would be so much worse.

[Bagrat in reply to Junella]

Thank you for your support. I appreciate it and yes the uncertainty is tough. I try to meditate every day and know I should build exercise into my routine but find that difficult. I know many people are praying for us.