Why do I hate being out in public?

[Coolgreys]

I just came back from a long walk to the grocery store. I could feel my social battery running out with every person I passed. Little interactions annoy me so much, like why did me and this other woman beeline to the mandarins at the same time? I felt rushed and annoyed so I just grabbed a bag and basically ran away.

I want to enjoy being out in public. I want my natural reaction to people to be one of delight and humor. Instead I become increasingly irritated, agitated, and paranoid. I am so relieved when I make it back to my apartment.

How do you reconcile loving yourself with wanting to be different than you are?

Maybe I need to slow down? Maybe I should have taken a beat and let the other woman sort through the mandarins first? Maybe I could have experienced it as serendipity and perhaps struck up a conversation? Idk.

[Starrlight]

I find it hard too on many days. You are asking smart questions about how you can make your experiences better for you. It’s great.

[Starrlight]

I know for me, I used to be afraid of being judged , now I just don’t like a lot of the energies I run into and get overstimulated and with overwhelm.

[NorwegianWood]

It sounds like you are suffering from depression and maybe anxiety. There is help available for both.

Regular walking of 30mins/day has been shown to be just as effective as medication for depression.

I now run almost 5k three times each week and that has been valuable for my mental health.