Hi everyone

[Sophiesmum290902]

I was diagnosed with postnatal depression when my daughter was about 2 months old which developed into clinical depression after she was forcibly adopted when she was between 6 months old and 8 months old. She's 22 years old now and I'm 42 years old now.

My late nanna who is my late dad's late mum came for my daddy (that's how I prefer to remember it as it's how my mum told me that my dad had passed away) in March 2019. He was only 63 years old and I miss him every day. I also miss my late nanna who is my late dad's late mum as she passed away when me and my middle sister were still in primary school.

Since my nanna came for my daddy, their side of the family have basically ignored me, my 2 sisters and our brother.

It's like we don't exist now that our dad is no longer here.

I found out earlier this year from my best friend that one of my uncles, who is 7 years older than our late dad, who also lived in a bungalow within walking distance from our dad's, bungalow was empty. My best friend had only knew that it was empty as she was on her way home from somewhere with one of her sisters and passing the back yard to where my uncle lived was on their route home, so she'del messaged me to ask me if knew that his bungalow was empty and I'd told her that I didn't. I even asked my youngest sister to see if she knew that our uncle's bungalow was empty and she didn't know either, so now we're all wondering if our uncle is in a nursing home or has passed away and nobody in their family has bothered to lete, my 2 sisters and our brother knows either way as they know that we were close to him.

[fauxartist]

It's hard when you have estranged relationships with relatives by marriage or not. Sometimes it's a situation that can be resolved with contact and familiarity....or sometimes people just separate....we have no control over that....and it's sad when we wonder what happened to some who should have been in our lives because we would have wanted that....but it's an unfortunate situation for many of us. I understand how that feels.

I was illegitimate, ('an antiquated stupid term, obviously I exist legitimately'), I never knew my father or anything about him, my mother never told any of my relatives I even existed....even today I've only met a couple of them, and I had a bunch. But she treated me like her dirty little secret, and you can guess from there how my life with her was...not good. So sometimes we have to accept what is...and create our own loving family....even if they are not blood relatives....they are 'Ohana'....extended family.

[Sophiesmum290902 in reply to fauxartist]

Ty for your reply fauxartist . it was very reassuring and helped me to understand what was happening with my late dad's side of the family.

The other thing that annoys me about them is that they don't seem to like being related to us as they've always worked after they'd left school. I went to college after I left high school.

The other thing is that one of my aunties, my dad's (this might sound confusing but I'll explain it in a min) now eldest sister, his eldest sister passed away due to an accident she had in work.

I know that my late dad was close to her and their brother who is 7 years older than my late dad.

[fauxartist in reply to Sophiesmum290902]

Families are extremely complicated....my mother was married 4 times, had 6 kids, and gave three of them away...one brother to one dad, and two brothers to another dad, and then both my sister and I never knew who our different dads were, and then my little brother who my mother was briefly married to and his dad....so....we are all half brother's and sisters except two of my brothers had the same father and mother...and the father is probably mine, but because my mother got pregnant before they were married, she went to an unwed mothers home to have me...then she married the boys dad when I was still a baby before they were born and raised me as his....and then there were some adoptions along the way as well...so.....yeah..... I get it. ...and that's only the tip of the ice berg in my family drama.