Five days ago was my birthday and there were some who couldn't even be bothered to wish me a happy birthday. One of them made it a point to post a negative post that day. And this is why I HATE Facebook. As for the other person, they didn't wish me a happy birthday last year either. They wished my siblings happy birthday, but conviently "forgot" mine. So many years I've dealt with being scapegoated, excluded, and isolated and this is a person who was supposed to care. I feel like it confirms that I wasn't wanted, nor am I wanted now, and that hurts. The thing is, I've dealt with a lot of hurt in this situation, even from the beginning. One of my siblings often put my family and me down and blamed me for everything that went wrong and I was supposed to be okay with that. Confronting them about it is not an option and does no good because, then, I get vilified, no matter what. I'm always the one who is in the wrong. I was dealing with nightmares and flashbacks so I decided to distance myself from the situation. Also, I've been on a journey of healing, but that wouldn't matter to them. They want nothing to do with me, yet they want to know everything that goes on in my life. If I don't tell them everything, then they get upset, even though they really don't talk or message or visit. They take cheap shots, changing their profile to showcase their favoritism and I know that it's a form of revenge. It's upsetting, but at the same time, I'm not feeling much of any thing about this at this point aside from the brief moments of pain and anger that comes and goes off and on. As much as I'd like for things to change, I doubt that they will. This has been going on for years. It's always a vicious cycle of scapegoating, belittling, exclusion, and isolation and then for a bit, they'll act like they want to spend time with everyone, but that's often short-lived. A part of me feels guilty and bad that it's gotten to this point, but I can't deal with the vicious cycle anymore.
No Happy Birthday: Five days ago was my... - Anxiety and Depre...
No Happy Birthday
And why should you deal with this vicious cycle at all?
We can't change the way people treat us but we can change how we react to it.
I think you are at that point right now. Life is too precious to waste this gift on
those who negatively affect us. Time to find a different path of so called friends.
Time to separate your thoughts from the negative to a more positive approach.
This wish may be late but it's meant sincerely. A belated Happy Birthday MH.
No one should go without a wish on their special day. May this coming year be just
the start of becoming who you are for you and no one else. You deserve that. :)xx
Thank you for the birthday wish. It means a lot to me, and you're absolutely right. 🙂
xx
I agree agora! If you can eliminate those that have a negative impact on your life or feelings. If that is not possible remove all expectations from them and limit time you have to deal with them.
Hope you still had an enjoyable day for your birthday! Happy belated birthday!
Thanks for the birthday wish. I am trying to limit my contact with them as I continue my journey of healing.
Stay away from anyone that doesn't deserve your energy or time. Find people who respect and understand you. Your mental health is more important and concentrate on yourself and put your mental health first
Thank you and that's part of what I'm trying to do. My regret is not seeing this sooner. I've learned a lot in this journey so far, including things that I just wasn't noticing before. Or maybe I was in denial. Either way, my eyes have been opened. For so long I hoped that something would change, but I can see that it won't and I'm not the only one seeing it. When it does change, it's always for the worse. At this point, I've had enough. I just hate that they have to be so hateful about it.
Belated Happy Birthday MH1982.I agree with the reply from Vonus.
Social media can be extremely detrimental to anyone's mental health especially vulnerable people like you.
I would deactivate Facepuke if I was you allowing you to log on when feeling less vulnerable.
You could also create a second account and join groups that share your interests. I once belonged to a fabulous movie group, a plant-lovers group and Wwoofing (not sure if it's available in the USA. It's a group where you can stay for free in various parts of Europe in exchange for helping organic farms, painting house interiors, for example).
Very best wishes.
Xx
Thank you for the belated birthday wish. It means a lot. To be honest, I had considered deleting my Facebook account altogether. The idea of creating an account to join groups doesn't sound like a bad idea. There are other platforms where I have found people who share similar interests as me and they seem pretty cool. Lately, they seem to be more supportive than most of my "relatives".
Happy belated birthday , my advice is keep away from Facebook .
MH1982
Happy Birthday 🎂🎂
Facebook doesn't seem to be doing anything for you but taking you down.
You don't need to tell anyone anything about you, let them get upset. I'm not sure how Facebook works but can't you block them or something?
🐬
Thank you for the birthday wish. Yeah, I'm probably going to stay off of it for now. I've even considered deactivating or deleting it because I'm just sick of it. I do worry that if I delete it, they might try to find me on other platforms, not to associate with me, but to be spiteful. I hope that never happens because there are people on the other platforms who I interact with who are supportive and share similar interests as me.
Belated happy birthday MH.
I left FB for similar reasons it wasn’t family but people who were pretending to be friends to my face then only going on my Fb looking for gossip to pass on to a toxic person who I had blocked. I must admit I feel happier now I don’t have their nonsense anymore.
I do think Goldilocks idea of having an account just for certain groups is a good idea, I might have done that if I’d thought about it before but I’m happy without Fb now.
Whatever you choose that is best for you at least you know there are a lot of really good people on here always willing to support and advise you.
Thank you for the birthday wish. I know about fake friends too. I've dealt with that a lot in school and even into adulthood. My "best friend" turned out to be a backstabbing Judas who tried to cause trouble in my family. She and her family will trash talk me to one of my siblings. I do agree that having an account for certain groups is a good idea. I may consider doing that, as long as they don't somehow try to figure out that it's me. I do appreciate the support here. It is helpful and it means a lot. I'm thankful to everyone here.
Happy late birthday. I feel you completely. My very own daughter and two sons didn't wish me Happy Birthday, or message or visit on Father's Day or Thanksgiving. It hits to the core,but like everyone here is saying you have to push toward the positive.
Thanks for the birthday wish. Happy belated birthday to you. It does sound a lot like my family. I can still remember the time I was uninvited for Thanksgiving, only to be "reinvited" later on by their favorite. This was years ago, of course and I did go, but I was ignored while the favorite one was put up on a pedestal.
Ohhhhhh my, fret not my Friend Is all love HER, and we bless you with positivity and wellness for your Born Day. Family can be real cruel at times and some don't realize it while others revel in that mess. We don't judge or condescend here enjoy your day all month, and party the way YOU like, don't let anyone steal YOUR Joy. Cheers
Thank you for the birthday wish, and yes, it is true, family can be cruel. There are even some who at one time, I thought were "nice" only to realize that it was not genuine. I was dealing with a lot in October and during the past month and I decided to confide in a relative about it. I told her that I was on a healing journey. She'd act like she was happy for me and then turn around chase it with a backhanded remarks. I noticed that this would happen when something good happened in my life. She'd act like she's happy about it and then follow it with worry and negativity. I also noticed that she seems to like telling members of the family about other member's problems. She continues to prove that she cannot be trusted and I regret ever confiding in her. I've also come to the realization that she doesn't accept me for who I am, nor does she acknowledge my passions or accomplishments. She'll condemn others for showing favoritism, yet she'll show favoritism toward one of my siblings, supporting and promoting them, telling them how beautiful they are, but she won't do the same for me. No, instead, she'll tell me what she thinks I should be doing and how I could "better my appearance".
Hi that's unfortunate sometimes the ones closest to you are the lest, worthy and it's true your enemies are normally the people closest. Best to keep your successes to true friends, they don't talk about you, at least in a circle where it won't get back to you. Stay happy and positive friend. Point, you know the old cartoons were telling us this in many ways and we thought they were just fun and crazy, more I've learned better. Cheers my friend and keep YOUR girl off positivity burnin.😇
Thank you.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I hope you can leave the past behind and continue on your healing journey. Perhaps it’s time to leave FB for a while. That’s what I did and have never looked back. It’s hard at first, but I felt so much better as time went on. Good luck and know that you have friends here that support you in any way we can.
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