What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
or
What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash
or
Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
It was stuck on the turkey’s foot!
or
What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Good ones !
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst
We're having venison for dinner ? Oh deer.
Ghostly French pancakes give me the crepes.
😂 thank you x
Doctor told me I've got insomnia.
I asked him "is it serious?"
He said, "There's no cause for alarm."
I've just found out that Humphrey Bogart collected paintings of toilets.
Sainsbury's yesterday were selling litres of Irish coffee liqueur for a tenner but they were past their sell by date.
Never the less I bought 50 bottles to sell at a marked up price in Camden market and got done by trading standards.
My trial comes up next month at the Old Bailey's.
Hilarious 😂🤣😉🤩
I was sitting at a table with my friend and someone else. My friend was telling this someone else about her her weekend. When she got to the part where she was telling about a conversation with someone, she said "and I talked to...." and drew a blank on the name. She seemed upset that she couldn't remember the name, so I thought I'd help her out.
Me: Do you remember his name?
Friend: "I don't know" (in a frustrating voice).
Me: "Oh, I know him! So, you were talking to I don't know and.... keep going".
My friend started laughing so hard that she couldn't finish her story....
What do you do when you feel alone
Im not sure what it is about being around older women that bring me a little peace of mind 
How do You "Snap Out of It?"
Can't get it out of my head
I've tried everything.....
