Emotional guidance...

[sadandloner1]

I'm not sure this website is helping at all. Maybe I need an actual therapist but I can't afford it. You guys have been very support and very generous but I don't know, every day is getting gradually worse.

[gajh]

Do they offer free counseling at your school?

[sadandloner1 in reply to gajh]

I don't go to school.

[kenster1]

I`m sorry to hear that I hope you can find some form of support soon hopefully you`ll stick around the forum it`s better than the alternative in my personal view.

[brendonkellyrox]

hmmmm you need to call a friend or loved one you need to vent to someone 988 can help call or text get conected with a church find other groups like this dont give up on hope it will be ok one day you just gotta push trough its hard ik ive been there messege me if your feeling lost or defeated and we can talk ok😊💙

[sadandloner1 in reply to brendonkellyrox]

Okay, thank you.

[jbjacksoncfc]

So sorry to hear you are feeling this way! I definitely empathize. Please count me among those who are *here for you* and willing and happy to listen *&* respond to try to support and encourage you in any way(s) that we can!

[sadandloner1 in reply to jbjacksoncfc]

Thank you

[casablancalover14]

Do you have any type of community help in your city? They should have therapists there that can help you. Maybe a church can help you find one. I'm praying for you.

[sadandloner1 in reply to casablancalover14]

I live in a very small community, not much is going on here. And my family does not believe in mental health.

[casablancalover14 in reply to sadandloner1]

I'm sorry your family has such a bad attitude toward mental health. All parts of our bodies need help sometimes. Please don't give up on yourself, you are worth so much more. Hang in there.

[fauxartist]

This site is only one tool in the tool box we need to deal with our stuff....and there are some clinics out there who accept patients on sliding scales....it's tough.... finding an affordable therapist in your area. I'd keep exploring all your options, never give up on you....you never know which doors are out there waiting for you to open them. You also have to get very creative and use many resources, not just one or two....knowledge is power....and the more you know, the more you'll understand this merry-go-round of mental health. It's a heads-up kinda thing, and you get what you give....and sometimes you don't have a good fit...so move on....there are no 'one size fits all' kinds of tool box's out there, no magic pills that are a cure all, just like we are all unique make-ups with similar issue, it's a journey....your not alone.

[RLSSCARER]

Sometimes we have to sit with our pain and Cradle it close, listen in deeply and take it slow, sit with the pain Cradle it close and when your ready let it go. I know that very well, question is what going to help get away from the disappointments and encourage you to thrive, keeping busy is sometimes the only way, i know for me, achieving something only gives temporary relief, i found Moringa helpful, your country has many wonderful nutrient packed plants, I'm waiting for something called Voacanga, it's a powerful habit breaker, I have to break my habits to change myself, this is an addiction breaker, sometimes blue lotus tea is helping, i think moringa is very cheap in Africa and is very helpful to shift from Depression.

[Mohammad-341]

Write down ur problem u will feel better

[sadandloner1 in reply to Mohammad-341]

I did.

[Blearyeyed]

I think being part of the group has helped you because it's helped you to realise that being part of a support group isn't enough to help you move forward and you know you would also benefit from some more professional support.This is an online support group.

It's a great place to talk about what you are going through with people whom feel the same and understand how you feel.

It's a great place to talk through the options that are out there to try to find to get help like talking to your GP about getting a referral for talking or CBT therapy or joining a talking therapy group.

It's a great place to keep visiting to get encouragement to keep trying when you feel things like trying new therapy , medications or lifestyle changes are getting hard to do.

But we often need to have three things to help improve our mental health , a lifestyle self care plan , people to talk to and professional support.

You have bravely realised that you need to make the next step to getting therapy.

I realise that it's harder to get help in small communities, I live in a rural village in Wales without good transport.

I also understand that sometimes our family or friends have a bad attitude about needing mental health support either because that's part of the culture or because they don't like others to know that someone in their family is struggling and they will look like they aren't doing a good job to help.

You can't let others attitudes stop you getting the help you need .

You might need to learn to count to ten and breath , and not take any other people's comments to heart when they dismiss you for getting some help.

You might need to be simply honest with people when you let them know you are going to find mental health support and just tell them it might be different to what they would do , but you do feel bad and you want to try it and hope they will be patient with you and support you.

Even if they aren't supportive, it's your life and your mental health so you need to stop allowing their negativity from putting you off what will help you.

Often they change their attitude as you become stronger.

Go to your GP and see if they can refer you for help , or if their are any local , or nearby, therapy and face to face support groups you can join.

If there are delays or there isn't anything close by ask if there are online talking therapy appointments they can refer you to and an online CBT course which is available from your health care services.

Look online and see if there are any South African Mental Health charity organisations or national services with therapy by video link that you could join.

These are all good first steps.

I will have a look and see if I can find anything out and let you know too.

It will take time though.

Talking to people and admitting that you need help is just the first step.

Trying out new positive lifestyle choices and ways to cope with your feelings and communication with others is the second step.

Therapy and mental health techniques the third.

Deciding on medication the fourth.

But none of the things will bring overnight change.

You need to keep taking one step at a time each day to manage long term.

Healing and Growing positive mental health takes time and patience before you feel better.

And the lessons and changes in behaviour you learn you need to follow each day for the rest of your life to continue to feel better and cope better.

You will still get bad days and stressful times that make you feel worse which you need to accept but also realise that you have learnt the way to get passed those feelings and bad days if you keep using the positive lessons and doing the positive self care you can learn.

Hope you do take the next step to find therapy but still keep coming back on the forum to talk to us to help getting better easier, take care , Bee

[sadandloner1 in reply to Blearyeyed]

Thank you so much. I felt this right into my core. It is difficult living with people who don't acknowledge mental illness as a real illness. I really appreciate this.

[sadandloner1 in reply to Blearyeyed]

Thank you so much. I felt this right into my core. It is difficult living with people who don't acknowledge mental illness as a real illness. I really appreciate this.

[Blearyeyed in reply to sadandloner1]

So I had a quick look for free counselling services available to you in South Africa which you could consider as well as contacting your GP for local help.There are two which are not for profit services.

1. LifelineJHB , you can email to arrange counselling, it has WhatsApp numbers and a crisis phone number

0861322322

lifelinejhb.org.za

2. Hope Guardians: this is a not for profit service for young people between 17-25 it's available in the UK and South Africa.

You apply via the website.

They give free 1to1 counselling in person or online with a professional.

They also have videos to watch and a weekly newsletter to subscribe to.

hopeguardians.com

There is also SADAG

Africa's largest mental health support and advocacy group. It can put you in touch with face to face and online support groups , they have a helpline and crisis number with callback.

If you fancy learning a bit more about CBT you can download free worksheets which are used by CBT professionals in the NHS. You can choose to try them yourself , or when you start sessions with a online counsellor or see your GP you could work through them with those professionals.

The CBT worksheet downloads are free , they also have a paid for workbook.

You can get these from:

thinkcbt.com

I've only included ones that are free for now because it's a good start and it means you can arrange things for yourself and don't need to ask your family for financial support to use them.

Hope this helps , take care , Bee

[sadandloner1 in reply to Blearyeyed]

Thank you so much, I'll check these out.