Procrastinated work home tasks today until Sunday… but..

[DangLifeisHell]

still have to go into work in person tomorrow…. Not excited for that at all…. I want to help my clients and staff who need me to be mentally on my game… but I’m so fucking tired… lack of sleep just makes things so much worse… had coffee this morning…. Didn’t really help… taking my anti depressant medications every other day instead of daily since I only have a weeks worth left… I don’t have any health insurance.. since I can only manage mentally and physically part time… hubby still hasn’t gotten a job…. I have no friends nor family here nor that would understand besides you all…. It’s hard keeping things in and faking it until I can no longer make it….. whenever I’m asked “how are you?” By my co workers, I just say “I’m here..”. Time to take a nap…. So I can have enough energy to at least take my dog out, I feel bad he needs friends to socialize with.

[Agora1]

My dear, I owe you an apology. This was the first time I didn't read the posts you wrote

bringing me up to your emotional feelings to date. I was not aware of your background

and all you are dealing with. Forgive me. Being in the field you are has got to be mind

and body draining to say the least. I didn't know you had been off for 8 months as well.

Husband not working putting additional stress on your shoulders. Your relationship

goes without saying is stressful by itself. Living back at your mothers at least for now

provides you a roof over your head and a warm bed. Too many issues hitting you at once.

We all need that time to escape for a short time which you don't have right now.

Time to think about yourself dear. Reading all you accomplished in your 20's makes me

know that deep within you it still exists. I wish you well in going forward again one day

soon. With a little direction from the right people it can happen with time. You are so

deserving of a good life. You may be lost right now but eventually, you will find your

way back home. I respect you in all you have done in life. I Care. xx

[DangLifeisHell in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for responding and understanding. I appreciate that you care. No need to apologize. We all have our struggles. And I was with my parents for a month, but then had to return to my husband and dogs to start work in a new state away from family and friends, as our savings will only stretch so far. It’s been a couple months now since I’ve seen my family and friends. My parents were supportive in their own way by making me food and making me go to the gym with them. But continue to hear from my mother I need to work more and wish I made more money. Which hurts me as I don’t like showing I am weak. And only told them the bare minimum that life is just so repetitive but I am doing fine. But they could tell I was hiding things and could physically tell I wasn’t well. So I don’t talk to them much, as I pretend to be strong and doing great, to not let them worry. My goal is to one day take care of them. Thank you for listening. I hope you’re doing well.

[Agora1 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

You know DanLifeisHell...sometimes pulling away a little to not only allow them to not worry

but to work on yourself is a good thing. We all do what we can during trying times.

Know that pretending you are strong and doing great will catch up to your brain

and help you reach your goals when you are ready. xx

[BlueType]

Thank you for being so strong, it makes me want to try harder myself... I hope things are well... Take care

[DangLifeisHell in reply to BlueType]

I’m thankful my post makes you want to try harder. I’m here for you and hope you at least try. With those little tries, give yourself grace as I’ve been trying to do.

[BlueType in reply to DangLifeisHell]

Thank you for your reply, I hope it doesn't sound like your struggles make me try, but that it's inspiring that you're trying so hard. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate you so much

[DangLifeisHell in reply to BlueType]

I appreciate that you think I am trying. I feel like, especially my husband, and mother don’t think I am trying hard enough. But trying not to let that bring me down. And going at the pace that I can manage. I appreciate you for still being here and understanding we all have our struggles.

[Vonus5591]

You must look after yourself, health and mental health very important. As soon as you look after yourself you will be able to cope more/better. It's win win taking care of ourselves