Could someone in another conversation pick up on me stuttering and pausing in the conversation I am having with someone else and assume it was related to their conversation?
Not sure, you tell me. : Could someone... - Anxiety and Depre...
Not sure, you tell me.
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EricJones
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maybe.. people are narcissists. You could just be paranoid. At the end of the day does it matter? Are you ever going to see these people again?
I may. They could be people that I know.
I mean if you had bad intentions and were gossiping about them and they overheard you that could be a problem. If you were minding your own business and they misjudged what you were talking about then that’s on them. At the end of the day you can’t worry about what people think about you. It will just drive you crazy. As long as you have good intentions and not trying harm innocent bystanders then you’re okay!
I highly doubt it. People are invested in their own business to not even know of your existence (not to sound harsh). You can be in a restaurant and chatting with your friend and be sitting next to a booth that has other people. I can bet you money the other booth that sat next to you wouldn't be able to give a description of you or your friend. Cause they were in their own world.
Yeah most people are too concerned with their own problems to even pay attention to others lol
Most people are buried in their phone lol
I highly doubt a person is sitting there and thinks "that stuttering guy next to us is listening to our conversation. Because why is he stuttering with his friend? He is listening to us!" No, that doesn't happen lol
Even if they noticed you stuttering, the person may probably think about something else like "ooh that dude has the same stutter as my cousin Iggy." And then they go back into their phone and showing the memes they saved to their friend lol
So, when I think that when I stutter, people must notice and assume it's because I'm listening to them. They really (if they even do), only notice me stuttering or pausing? They don't know that it's because of them?
No, they don't know that its because you're listening to them. Again most people are invested in their own lives to give you a notice. Even if they did pick up on you stuttering they only know that you stutter. But they don't know it's because you're listening to them. They just think (maybe if they think of you at all) is that you have a speech impediment. And they go back to whatever the hell they were doing. Same for goes for you pausing. They don't know.
How do you know this? Personal experience? Or logic?
Both
You've thought this way before? Have you thought about what others could hear and notice before?
Notice yeah. But not to the extent that you have. But I'm when my anxiety was high I worried about what people must be thinking of me when I came into a room. Most were my insecurities and anxiety.
Now that my anxiety is settled down, I don't really give a shit lol
Even if by the slightest chance they were listening, you will never know. So why bother obsessing over it? You will never see these strangers again. Nor will these strangers even remember you the next day.
Good point. Noted.
So, would others be able to tell that I was paying attention to their conversation or not?
Maybe.. unless you have superpowers then you’ll never know what other people are thinking. In cognitive behavioral therapy it’s called mind reading and is a common issue for people in therapy. One of the few things I’ve learned and benefited from. Plus people will flat out lie too. So even if they said they can tell you were paying attention it could just be a lie.
I very much doubt it Eric. People are too absorbed in their own wants and needs to spend more than a passing thought to someone with a stutter, a false leg or anything else.
Cheers, Midori
Sorry Eric, I don't see how you could possibly be listening so someone else's conversation if you were stuttering. Stuttering suggests you were talking, and if you were talking, even if pausing briefly, how could you be listening to someone else?
My attention is in another conversation. To the point where I can't focus on what I am thinking about and convert it into words. So, I stutter as I get sidetracked by someone else's talking.
It's embarassing, isn't it, when you hear something that is so much more interesting than your own conversation, to the point that you lose track.
not sure what you mean
Well, it's embarassing to be caught paying attention to someone other than your "date" (we'll call it that for brevity) - even if that's someone you've just met - do they understand your sudden "absence", or is it so brief that they havenn't noticed?
I'm not sure what you're asking. I don't think it's that embarrassing if you get distracted by others. I don't share the same viewpoint on this subject.
So you don't worry about how the person with whom you are speaking feels when you "switch over to another channel" without warning?
Are you talking about, when I instead pay attention to someone else other than them?
Oh, I understand. So you stutter when you have been distracted. I suppose it depends on how long you focus on someone else's conversation. I would tend to worry more about what the person you were talking to thinks about your pause in your own conversation!
So, I shouldn't worry about the opinions of others in another conversation if I stutter, but focus on how I'm coming across to the person I am speaking with?
That would be the right thing to do, and it would help you to refocus on your coversation. Try to make your conversations more riveting than the conversations of others.
Yeah, I'm not interested in making my conversation standout or flourish more than others. That seems like a comparison. However, I would like to be able to focus in on the person I'm speaking with. It's likely that I'll be distracted by others and background sounds, for some of the time (maybe a third of the time), but do my best to not have it get out of hand.
I suppose you get triggered when things that interest you jump out of others' conversations. It's a shame you can't join the other people.
Hi Eric, it’s possible they could pick up on your stuttering if they are close enough in proximity and can HEAR you… but if they are talking to someone else they will likely ignore you as they’ll understand you’re not talking to them, you are in your own conversation with someone else. It’s kind of a matter of common courtesy for people not to eavesdrop on other’s conversations so they would try to ignore it to be polite, as they should. Does that make sense to you?
Yeah, it makes sense. I try to give others that courtesy, but I am hypervigilant, so I usually hear other people's conversations.
It’s all good if you can hear them, most people will never know you have that ability so no harm no foul. Think of it as your superpower.😉
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