It's getting harder

[sad_watermelon]

Hello again for the third time today. Things started getting a bit tough.

It's been like 60 hours since I'm all alone and I feel really bad. I can't stop crying because I feel really lonely and I would really love somebody to hug me right now.

I live in a dormitory where there is a room for people to reunite so I went there for a while to see if there are people that I could probably talk to to distract myself but there is never a soul there and apparently here people do not go, you know, knock on a door and find someone or just text someone. I actually tried to text people and they didn't answer me. So I guess I will continue being alone.

I went shopping for food today and I made some homemade bread and tomorrow I'm gonna cook a soup. I also decorated my room and cut my hair and I've been doing all of this while watching or let's say listening, because I was doing other things too, to series, tv shows and it's funny because it's a paradox - I put them on to feel less lonely, to hear people talking, to feel a presence and in the same time I see friendships, love, hugs, care and it makes me feel sad because I really need this right now. So I find myself talking to my plushies and hugging them and imagining they talk back to me and comfort me and I think this is very pathetic, I know, but I don't know what else I could do. I feel like I'm overwhelming my friends in my native country because I keep texting them whenever I feel bad but it's getting more often and more often and I know they have things too so I don't want to bother them.

I have a whole week before classes begin so for the moment I just have met some of my classmates in university but I found myself being the only one to talk to them, to text them and I don't want to be overwhelming to them too, you know, to ask them to hang out or something like that so this whole week I guess I will be in my room and I don't know how to go on

[b1b1b1]

It takes time to settle in to a new place and begin to make friendships.

[gajh]

I think it is wonderful that you are hugging your plushies. It is not pathetic at all. You can give yourself hugs too. Hold yourself. Comfort yourself. Give yourself self compassion.

[Midori]

Please don't lurk in your room; get out and show your face to folk, say hello if you meet anyone. Conversation and friendship is a two-way street, both need to join in. If you don't get out there and mix, then college is just going to be horrible for you.

Actually, the first week in a new place is usually taken up with exploring and finding your way around the place, also getting books and things you will need for classes. There will probably be a day or two for finding out what clubs and groups are in the College to help folk mix and find friendships, At least that's how it works in Britain.

Cheers, Midori

[BedBug]

You are never alone. God is always with us.He knows everything that is going on with us. Talk to him. He does answer prayers. Practice lots of self care. Don't beat yourself up. Think of the positive things you have. I have read when you think you have it so bad there is someone else who has it worse. I truly believe this. I here to talk anytime. It will get better. Small steps one day at a time.