I overthink from waking up and i regret not going to the concert

[Against_the_current]

I would have an escape from mom for three nights but sis made me think i shouldn't go. I had just arrived home, i was triggered of traveling and of the job interview and of one week and sis made a hundred reasons why i shouldn't go and nobody to drive me to the village where it's at (and it ends late at night so no chance catching bus. This concert is made so people book the hotel but nobody would have letted me stay in the hotel(the owner of the hotel makes the concert at low prices so people go and stay in his hotel and drink his wine. Plus dad couldn't drive me because he's too busy with his new family and friends and they don't want me there. Plus feeling bad about grandpa. Wish he knew this story. But he's going to a hospital (im a terrible person for trusting sis and wanting to pay for therapy and selling the tickets 😭). Wondering when to go to my therapist. Either monday or Wednesday. I need him but he gave me this stupid advice to walk around the block and to socialise. I realised it's not about race, it's about intelligence and decency. I need friends who match my intelligence. And this is hard. Intelligent people are alone. I pay so much for him to say "socialise and exercise". I need money for exercise so i have only these walks. But im trapped in a neighborhood that's full of various addicts and shady people. I also have a feeling we will fight at Tuesday so i will need him on Wednesday but it might be paranoia and he doesn't know me so well and i doubt he would help. Even the psychiatrist i went to said she doesn't know me and refused to treat me as if my psychiatrists remember me. Now wondering when to go to psychiatrist as well and whom to go to. In this city mental care is trash. Psychiatrists need a psychiatrist and an exorcist and Jesus to revive them from the dead because they're 70+ and unsupporting themselves and i get scared. It's really like a horror movie. The best psychiatrist I've had here was in weird ghost-like doctor wear and almost bald woman. Actually this whole city needs an exorcist. We're too far gone. We can scare even Palestine