don’t know what to do need support please

[Daisy425]

I leave for my cruise tomorrow. I really don’t know what to do. I know that not going could be damaging to my relationship with my boyfriend and his family. But I’m so incredibly anxious right now. I’ve been trying to eat here and there. I’ve been incredibly shaky and all I want to do it sleep. I wish I could be normal and be excited for my vacation.

These are what are causing the most anxiety:

1. Norovirus from food

2. Norovirus from others

3. Sea sickness

4. Sharing a room with my boyfriend and his mom (it was cheaper this way)

5. Wanting to go home but not being able to

[Alpakka123]

Hi,Have you share these concerns with them? Because these are very real and valid concerns for you, and you have every right to share it with them if comfortable doing so. What if, instead of this being you, a friend was telling you that they were having these concerns. What advice would you give to them?

I even wonder if others in the group have some of the same or similar concerns. You could be surprised to find that they do.

[Daisy425 in reply to Alpakka123]

I have been pretty open and they are supportive. I just don’t want to ruin the trip. The easy thing would be to back out and not go

[Alpakka123 in reply to Daisy425]

Glad you've been open and more importantly that they've been supportive. That's good to hear!Good luck with whatever you choose to do! It's nice of you to worry about that, but please don't. You won't ruin it for them, I promise.

[gajh]

You are so brave. Remember you are bringing us with you so you are not alone. I don't know if this would work for you or not. Have you ever tried looking at the worst case scenario and coming up with a plan on how you would handle that? I know for some people it helps to face the worst fear and realize that they could handle it and how. Then that can take away some of the "what if" fears. Like what would comfort you and help you if you did find yourself wanting to go home? Maybe have some coping strategies in place for that. It is totally ok that you are not "normal" and excited about your vacation. It is remarkable that you are planning it. You should be so proud of yourself.

[Daisy425 in reply to gajh]

I have thought of that but then I think my mind just focuses on the negative and I freak out

[gajh in reply to Daisy425]

Don't stay stuck on focusing on the negative. Move on to focusing on how you would cope with it. Focusing on the solution instead of focusing on the problem. It would be nice to know how you would comfort yourself and take care of yourself. Would your boyfriend be a good support for you if you were to have any difficulty?

[Daisy425 in reply to gajh]

He usually is but I can tell he’s getting frustrated as something that’s supposed to be fun and relaxing is turning into me a being incredibly anxious

[gajh in reply to Daisy425]

He knows you. He would have known how much anxiety this cruise would cause you. It is not a surprise. It is not your fault that you are anxious. It is totally understandable. I am glad you are here with us, people who do understand.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Anxiety is a lying little AH. Who also likes to bully. You can handle this. You talk about it with your boyfriend and his family. They have been supportive which is a good thing. Remind them again about what you may need if you were to get anxiety attack or overwhelmed.

Now let's talk about your "what ifs". Thousands and thousands of people go on cruises and only a small precent get the norovirus. Now answer this "What-if " What if you don't get sick from the food or other people? What if you actually enjoy the food and meet some great people?

You need to challenge these "what ifs" that creep into your mind with a positive outlook. If your brain says what if we get sick? Fire right back with yeah what if we don't get sick? Then what?

Also I'm sure you are a cautious person and will wash your hands before and after meals.

If your are concerned about sea sickness go by a drug store and pick up some motion sickness tablets. You got time. Plus I'm sure this cruise also has a medical unit on board. In case of emergencies. You will be okay. It's like a floating hotel or a small little city. You will be alright.

You need to tell anxiety to stop. You heard it all before and you are not going to let it ruin another thing for you. You let anxiety know it can be present, have a seat. But you got places to go and people to meet.

Might I suggest stopping at a book store and pick up DARE: a new way to end anxiety and stop panic attacks by Barry McDonagh so you can read on the ship. It has been very helpful to me. Also there's app too and you can get it for free if you buy the book.

Wishing you safe travels and peace 🫂 ❤️

[Daisy425 in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I needed to hear this way more than you know. Thank you so incredibly much.

[Starrlight in reply to Daisy425]

I hope CL3V3R and others have helped ease the stress of the trip. I believe you can do this. You’ll have our support the whole way through, too.

[Starrlight in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Anxiety is a liar- this is what I keep reminding myself too and it’s been helpful. I love it. 💕

[Daisy425 in reply to Starrlight]

I feel like I’m not strong enough

[Starrlight in reply to Daisy425]

You are strong enough. But is it worth it? Will it be what you want? You know I’ve learned to listen to myself because only I can feel exactly and know for sure what is best for me. I think you should make your decision based on your wisdom of yourself.

How do you truly think you’ll feel once you are actually there? For me, the anticipation anxiety is always worse than the actual situation.

[Daisy425 in reply to Starrlight]

This is hard for me to answer because I honestly feel like I have no choice. I’d be letting my boyfriend and his family down if I don’t go

[Starrlight in reply to Daisy425]

I get that. You might have a great time, you think?

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

try after you go through all the feelings of worry, to start thinking positively like “What all can I do there that will be fun”?

[Daisy425 in reply to Starrlight]

There is so much fun stuff and I want to be able to go. I just can’t shake these fears

[Starrlight in reply to Daisy425]

When you are ready, can you tell me about what types of things you will do?

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

And what will you take with you when you go that would bring comfort?

[Daisy425 in reply to Starrlight]

I have medications to help with motion sickness and nausea but idk if I can take the nausea meds

[Daisy425 in reply to Starrlight]

Go to dinner (although slightly nervous about eating because I don’t want to get sick), watch shows, go to the casino, hang by the pool or our balcony and read

[Starrlight in reply to Daisy425]

Sounds amazing!

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Daisy425]

You got this. I tell ya as someone who has missed out on a lot of stuff because of anxiety, it'll be another thing on the list that you'll think about at 3am while lying in bed. You can do this. Don't let anxiety bully you into missing something really fun. Take pictures. Get a journal write down everything you want to do on the ship and want you did. Go to the shows on the cruise. Have fun. I want you when you get up and go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and say to yourself "Look here anxiety you don't get to decide what we are going to do anymore. I had it with your 💩. I'm going to have fun. Sure, I'm going to be nervous and yes, maybe I'll be a little afraid. But I rather be in an uncomfortable heaven then to continue in a familiar hell." I believe in you and you have my support 🫂❤️

[Daisy425 in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thank you so much for these encouraging words!! Ik just dl so scared

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Daisy425]

I know the feeling. I once cried when I couldn't drive to a friend's house who lived 14miles away. I always think about it. I say to myself "it's just 30mins and you sat on your butt for 30mins. You could have gotten there. It wasn't that hard. " Little did I know that would be my last Christmas party with all of my friends together. My bff moved away.

So now I'm trying to get back to where I was once before. Confident. I believe I can get there now. Before I didn't think it was possible. But love and support has an amazing affect. It helps laying a foundation for you to build your house on. I believe you can do that.

[Arymretep in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

great post 👍

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Arymretep]

Thank you 😊🙏🏽

[anonleo in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I definitely needed this also. This is a great response, thank you. :’( brings tears to my eyes because I’ve been having such a rough time

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to anonleo]

You have my support as well🫂❤️

[sabres4love]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I have been on several cruises and loved them, but I understand why you are anxious. There is so much to do that I think if you go you will enjoy it. But is up to you to do what is best for you. Where are you going? Let me know what you decide.

[Daisy425 in reply to sabres4love]

Hi! I am going from NYC to Bermuda. I’m really scared I’ll get sick

[Agora1]

Hi Daisy, right now dear, everything you are worrying about is a speculation of what

may or could happen. The possibilities are low but your anxiety can make them feel

as if it already exists.

Let me share something that I have used in the past to trick my mind from going

into the "what if's"...

I look at your 5 worries. Anxiety pops up when we feel there is no escape should

we need it. But you are focusing on the negatives. Actually the positives outweigh

them on a cruise ship.

Think of it as a mini city with all the necessities to exist including medical care.

They are more prepared than a hotel would be should something come up.

Check off Worry1 and 2. Seasickness?? That's a given you wouldn't be the first, as

they are prepared for that as well.

4. Sleeping in the same cabin as your boyfriend and mother should give you the

security in not being alone and number 5 probably the one you worry about the most

is least to happen. However, if an emergency came up and you had to leave that ship

for a serious reason, they are prepared. If need be, a medivac could transport you

to the nearest port. You see, you aren't trapped and that's what is causing your anxiety.

I think you are going to have a great time and will long remember you facing Anxiety

square in the face. It can't trap you, you have an out for every doubt it may give you. xx

[Daisy425 in reply to Agora1]

This post gave me a lot of comfort. Thank you. I truly feel so silly about all of this. I should be excited and I’m not.

[Mskitty21 in reply to Daisy425]

Pls don’t feel silly 🩷I read this thread and it’s your anxiety making you feel all these things and it’s something most of us here understand. Do you have any techniques that you use for your anxiety? Or medication? I saw the DARE app and book mentioned and these things are extremely helpful! There are very calming things on the app and even SOS anxiety meditations. Anxiety in a nutshell on YouTube is also very helpful 🩷 Anticipatory anxiety makes you think all the worst… but maybe think of looking out over that beautiful ocean and seeing dolphins 🫢 seeing beautiful sunsets (I like to sleep to much for sun rises lol) and if anxiety creeps in put your ear phones in and listen to something calming. Anxiety guy on YouTube has a long positive affirmation video you can listen to that has helped me ALOT.

Good luck dear and like everyone has said we’re here to help along the way 😊

[Daisy425 in reply to Mskitty21]

Thank you so very much. Have you been on a cruise?

[Mskitty21 in reply to Daisy425]

No… I havent had the chance yet. But I can absolutely feel where your anxiety comes in. The ideas I gave are just my go tos for panic attacks and anxiety.

[anonleo]

hi friend. I just wanted to share my experience going on vacation a couple weeks ago. I was definitely afraid of everything like sleeping in a car on the drive, the drive in general, wrecks, sharks, ect ect. I almost canceled MULTIPLE times. Because I knew I would be so far away from my safe space. But I had the best time. And I actually miss the place we went to.

[Daisy425 in reply to anonleo]

I am so glad you were able to overcome that anxiety!! That must have been a powerful moment and made you feel really proud of yourself. I am so proud of you, and hope that is my experience