Long story, not so short

[ShawnDC]

I'll start this with saying that I'm 32 years old. Beginning of 2023, my wife of 2 years, as well as my partner for almost 9 years, lost feelings for me. We quickly decided divorce was the best option. I wish I could say it was an easy divorce, but it's not entirely true. It may have been fast and uncontested, but we have a little girl that we now share 50/50 switching every other week. Around the same time we were having trouble with our marriage, my workplace was falling apart. The location I had worked at for nearly 10 years was closing and moving the location that extended my drive of 35 minutes to work to 50 minutes. The job only lasted a couple months before I was offered a full time management position at a weekend job I held for 6 years. So, I had another job transition on top of divorce and split custody. We each had our own financial burdens. While mostly manageable, it's also a struggle with only a single source income.

I've quickly developed depression. I was binge drinking for a month or so. Then, I picked smoking back up for several months. I find it hard to connect or attach feelings to anything or anyone, except my daughter. Things started to feel better and moving on a better direction for 2024. However, the last month, I've been struggling once or twice a week waking up in the middle of the night in compete panic. I get this weird, uneasy stomach and thoughts surrounding death and an inescapable void in the afterlife. While I don't believe that will be my, or anyone else's, afterlife, the thoughts mess me up. It carries into my day to day thoughts, trying to understand the fear and panic. I don't have a grasp on this anxiety and it's quickly concerning me. I've dealt with forms of depression. I've dealt with small moments of anxiety, but this is a new level for me.

[Shnookie]

I’m sorry that you R going thru this. Do you see a therapist? R you on any meds ? U have gone thru a lot of changes recently. It’s understandable that your anxiety level has gone up as well. It’s positive that you have reached out to HU.

[Sunrisetabby]

Good morning, ShawnDC. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of challenges. Best wishes to you in navigating the malestorm. I am currently trying Dr. Pennebaker's journaling method. Have you heard of it or given it a try? If not, Andre Huberman has a good overview and description of the benefits: researchhub.com/post/1174/a...

[Agora1]

Dear ShawnDC thank you for reaching out to us. Life comes with challenges

and changes which can be hard to accept at times. And so, panic and anxiety

move in. This has to do in feeling as if we have lost control of our lives. Remember

as overwhelming as this all seems right now, it may be leading to a new path in life.

New directions take time to accept. Right now you are in a healing process in all

that has happened to you.

Your dreams play out all the negativity going on right now. Try finding some methods

that may help you regain control of your thoughts which in turn will reduce or get

rid of the physical symptoms of stress.

Seeking therapy can help you as well as sharing your journey with others on this forum

so you don't feel so all alone. My thoughts are with you xx