Knocked Down Again

[Dream6]

I was doing so well with my depression for the past two months. Life has been challenging, but I've been ACTUALLY happy. Which has been a surprise to me. Until two days ago. My parents. They are currently traveling back to our home state, which is where I still live now. And I am just not ready to see them. Ever since our phone call yesterday, my entire mood has shifted. I feel nothing right now. Just blank and empty. And they are arriving in less than two hours. I was doing so well. So well with maintaining my mental health, and then my parents just triggered old trauma and I am back to square one. I hate having to put on a face when I am with them. And I hate feeling this numb. I can't-I know I won't confront them about any of my issues or mental health, because they would never understand. They never have. Literally, my mother dismisses me when I confront her about my feelings, and then questions why I am not social with her. There is just no talking to her on a personal level. She comes off way too hard, and its not something that I will appreciate in the future, still haven't. I am never heard and she is the queen of dramatics. I love both of my parents to death but yesterday HIT me so hard that I have completely shut down. Anyways, pray for me. If anyone else has relationship problems with their parents and confronted them about how they affected their mental health, feel free to chat with me. Cause I may hold onto all this baggage for the rest of my life. And I don't know if it's for the best or will end up resulting in the worst for me. And yes, I've gone to family therapy before.. when I was 10 yrs old because my mother found out I did self harm. And the therapy was pointless. It just made everything worse.

[brendonkellyrox]

i will pray for you let me know how it goes with them

[blackcat64013]

Hi,

Thank you for your post.

Sometimes we forget that no family is perfect and that our relationships can have their ups and downs. Shutting down is your brain's way of keeping you safe in the moment from the trauma of the past concerning your parents.

Can I suggest that you try trauma informed therapy which is different to family therapy that you tried 14 years ago.

Trauma-informed therapy services do no harm to the person i.e. they do not re-traumatise or blame victims for their efforts to manage their traumatic reactions, and they embrace a message of hope and optimism that recovery is possible. In trauma-informed services, trauma survivors are seen as unique individuals who have experienced extremely abnormal situations and have managed as best they could”. (Dr Cathy Kezelman)

Trauma-informed care is based on the understanding that:

1. a significant number of people living with mental health conditions have experienced trauma in their lives

2. trauma may be a factor for people in distress

3. the impact of trauma may be lifelong

4. trauma can impact the person, their emotions and relationships with others.

I can recommend it having tried it myself.

An excellent resource can be found on the website below

health.nsw.gov.au/mentalhea...

Wishing all the best 💜

[Dolphin14]

Dream6

A ten year old receives therapy on a ten year old level. You are a grown woman now. You may want to give therapy a try as an adult

I'm so sorry you are being triggered by your parents. You don't have to live like this. Therapy can help.

I hope the visit isn't too bad. Make sure you have breaks away from your parents

🐬

[catsrock]

Hi, Your mother sounds a lot like mine and there is no winning with people like that. Like others have said, I'm betting that doing therapy now would help you if you can find a good therapist (that's always the challenge, right?). I have learned that I can't talk to my mom about emotions because she just shuts down when I do, so it's not worth the effort and then me being upset about her reaction. I just keep things very surface between us and, honestly, she doesn't know a whole lot about my life but, then again, she doesn't ask about it. She's in her own world taking care of my very mentally ill sister who is abusive towards my mom, but they have a very strange, dysfunctional relationship. My therapist taught me to respond when people ask about my mom and sister and weird things that are going on with them to just say, "They are a mystery to me." Otherwise I tend to go down a victim spiral about how difficult they are to deal with and it doesn't do me any good. Don't know if any of this helps, but know that others get what you are dealing with.