Sometimes gratitude just becomes another doorway for guilt

[Sol-]

I get the value in making lists of things I'm grateful for, of noticing the good in my life. But so often it feels like a doorway to more guilt. I should be happier: just look at my good job. I should be happier: just look at my loving family. I should be happier: just look at all I have.

But I'm not. I've worked my whole life to get here, and now I'm here, and it feels like it's all downhill from here. Like I climbed, and climbed, and now there's just a slow slide into oblivion waiting for me now that I'm at the top of the hill.

Sometimes I don't want to be grateful. Sometimes I want to acknowledge that it sucks.

[Turnipgirl]

I remember back in 2022 when I lost my job and I was understandably upset that things hadn't worked out as I had hoped.

I felt really cross when I got told off for how I felt and told to be grateful for the good things in my life!

OK maybe I would have benefitted from being more grateful but it's allowed to feel upset when things haven't worked out how you had hoped they would!

[Amokaka]

I have something similar, where gratitude becomes a starting point for more worry. "Just look at all these things in my life that aren't going wrong!" is an invitation to imagine all the possible things that aren't going wrong yet.

My solution, when my brain starts going that way, is to redirect it to all the things to be grateful for that pretty much everyone has these days (at least in rich countries) but that weren't always available. Like indoor plumbing: How much more would life have sucked if you had to pump all your water by hand and carry it home in a bucket? Or little things like toothpaste, reading glasses, and elastic-waist pants, that are so easy to take for granted but make such a big difference to quality of life.

[Sol- in reply to Amokaka]

I like that idea. I am grateful for elastic-waist pants, and in some ways that feels easier than being grateful for my job or my marriage.

[Barbloki]

Wow. That is exactly how I feel. thank you for putting it into words.

[Agora1]

You know Sol- I guess it's being human that makes us not see how blessed we may

be as well as grateful for where we are in life.

I remember long ago, driving in one of my beautiful cars at the time and wondering

when all this success and happiness might end. Like waiting for the other shoe to

drop. ONce you have it all, it sometimes can make you feel guilty and/or doubtful.

It changes when we change our way of thinking, hopefully before it's too late. xx

Enjoy the present moment, it can be gone in a flash.

[P010simple]

i understand this. i recently have welcomed a new baby into our family and the transition from 1 kid to 2 as been difficult for me. I also decided to go back to school and took a new position at work. I have so much to be thankful for but there are some days i want to wallow in my stress and anxiousness. but then i realize this is what my anxiety wants from me...and i then choose something to do for myself..and maybe its a hot shower, a walk, or a mexican date with a friend!