recently i showed a 8 months fake experience to get a job as no one is expecting that you have been joblsess for 9 month and have been rejeceted continously for 9 months, its a very small startup company just 8-10 employee, they have a verification agency who could not verify fake exp to be true. agency approached me and i had to accept the truth, bcos this small company could not afford to send employee to a big company. agency said lets see what they can do after assuring that everything is ok other than just 8 month fake working experience . i hope everything works well.
i am hopefull and already gone with a lot of turmoil this year. i have not told this to my wife who would be unnecessary worried , i am feeling better after sharing this here
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Why did U lie ? It didn't help U & for me lying to others is still lying to urself as U are the one who has to work at making the lie believable & then remember the same lie backwards perfectly.
A truth a person can tell it someone else both forward & backwards as it's the truth & it's the true experience of the person.
Also lying to ur putthi is not a way to treat ur wife or ur marriage. U made vows before ur ancestors & those of the same religious belief as U.
Only wisdom I can offer U is to stop lying to urself , Ur wife, ur family & realise that no matter how much U lie the truth will always come out. So it's better if U be more honest than U have been in the past.
Lastly
I wish U love & light on ur journey to the truth & how to speak it too.
All of us have told lies before. It is not uncommon for people to lie about experience, this happens all the time. The motive is obvious, they want to get a job but have been out of work for 9 months. They are in a difficult position. I also wouldn't say that he lied to his wife, he lied to his potential employer. He mentioned in his post that he has not told his wife that he was rejected for lying about past experience. That is different than telling her a falsehood. As he is in a depression and anxiety support group, he probably feels great fear about telling her. That is understandable.
Yes I agree lying is not the answer, and the original poster knows they did the wrong thing. They can learn from it.
My advice to the original poster is to continue to increase their skills in their field. If it is software related, then build something for your portfolio. Make it impressive. Then you can show this to potential employers, and you won't need to lie about past experience, you will have something tangible that you can show them.
Nope he's not lying he is just not telling her the complete truth either. It's his choice but I will say even tiny white lies are still lies , it even says that it's a lie.
We also must be compassionate and understanding towards others, besides judging and labeling them
We must also recognize the original poster is displaying honesty towards this group by admitting that they lied.
That should be honored. Someone that might tell a lie can also tell truths. Let us not label one as a liar because they told a lie. That minimizes a person into a very narrow category, which itself is a lie.
I'm showing compassion & understanding for his wife. She is the one who doesn't deserve being uninformed about the truth & he even had to accept he lied when he was caught out.
Again, this person is on an anxiety and depression support group. It is clear to me that Muhammad is likely overwhelmed by fear of telling his wife about this situation.
While you show compassion for his wife, it is Muhammad that is posting here. You mentioned in another response that you "hate liars". Hate is not the answer. While lying is certainly a negative trait, so is hatred.
It is critical that we develop this self-awareness of our own flaws as well. Then we can grow and improve.
This is an anxiety and depression forum however, even if not explicitly mentioned in his post, it is a logical assumption to make that this person suffers from one or the other, or both. I have seen this same person make a previous post about their anxiety around not having a job, so I know they have been struggling in this position.
Also, I do not condone his actions here. Being understanding is not the same thing as condoning.
Hang in there Mohammad! I hope everything becomes more promising for you! It’s hard when you have a lapse in work, for whatever reason. I know how hurtful it feels to keep getting rejected after applying for job after job. .
We should be compassionate, but we also should keep people accountable. Admitting you've done something wrong is great, but what really counts is how you make amends for it. Not all lies are equal: I could like in complimenting someone's outfit or I could lie about how big a fish I caught, or I could lie about missing money--big difference. And, of course people also tell the truth--it would not even be possible to lie 100% of the time. I wouldn't worry about being labeled a liar as much as I'd worry about being labeled dishonest and untrustworthy. We all have different standards for ourselves.
I feel it's better to be honest and admit you lied when the lies get found out!
In my experience lies always get found out!
Many years ago I had lied to get out of work and had got found out and what I did was came clean and told the truth and owned up to having lied rather than trying to cover things up and getting myself deeper and deeper into bother!
It is better to confess before being found out. Hopefully, it wouldn't take many instances of this for someone to realize it is better to not lie in the first place.
I can sympathize with you, especially if you’re financially hurting. I wrote on my resume. I was caring for 37 year old nephew (he died). I did fly to care for him for 1 week (off a year). But in the interview I forgot, told them I was caring for my son (also true, he had a terrible bacteria infection same year- not entire year). Do the best you can ; )
Thing is when you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything!
Once I got paid for months after leaving a job and what I did was put the money to the side when they asked for it back and I rang payroll up and told them I had received money I wasn't entitled to and what would they like me to do for them and they said about paying it back which I said was no problem as i had put the money aside for when they asked for it and I got told thanks for your honesty and I paid them back as requested.
Desperate situations demand desperate measures and Mohammad lied to get a job. He probably doesn't feel good about it, but it had the desired effect, and I'm not condoning what he did. I hold truth as my most important value and cannot bear being lied to. But that's me. I have to live with the lies that have been told to me and accept that the person telling them is weak (he's always accusing me of lying). It's not good that he's lied and I hope he learns from how he now feels about it and practises truth in his life from now on. At least it looks as if Mohammad has come clean about the lie, which kind of wipes the slate clean or nearly clean. But Please, Mohammad, don't lie to people; in the long run or even the short run, it does you no good. I hope you use the holiday wisely and have a good time with your family.😊
I speak from experience about lies & lying & no it wasn't me who lied or got found out & lost track of what the original lie was. It was my ex wife who trapped herself & didn't realise which was the original lie.
Finally I filed for divorce & said I wanted our children & the simple fact was she didn't have any maternal & she didn't even argue or even put up a fight for her daughters & I thank every deity in the whole universe that I was able to raise my daughters.
I've raised them to be honest & as they were growing when ever I made then a promise I kept my promise & yes there were times they wanted things I couldn't afford but I spoke to them & explained why I couldn't get them some things & by treating them as anyone would treat adults they understood more.
That the start of our journey of just the 3 of us the oldest was 11 & youngest daughter was 6 about to turn 7 to now where they're now 30 & 25 & yesterday was Christmas day & I spent time with both of my daughters.
In that time since she left I've never stopped my girls seeing their mom but over the years it's gone from regular visits & contact to a phone call once every 3 or 4 months.
Back to the point it's not about the job its about not telling ur wife who I would hope is ur biggest supporter the complete truth & what happens with lying to ur wife/husband/partner is that our demeanour & how we carry ourselves changes & those people who we say we love the most are the ones who notice the changes.
I've read where U've said ur unable to gain more skills, then have U looked at brushing up on the skills U do have & make urself stand out.
It's entirely ur choice but ur wife is or should be ur number 1 fan & we shouldn't lie ( or with hold the truth ) to those we love most.
When i was looking for houses when I got asked at viewings why I was moving I would be upfront and honest and say that it was because I was being evicted due to redevelopment rather than making up stories and if they didn't like being told the truth then hard luck!
At least when you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything!
Lying about an eviction would be pointless anyways. They will always be found. Also an eviction due to redevelopment is not in the same league as an eviction due to non-payment or breaking the lease. The former, you can often still find housing. The latter, you will be shut out of many places.
Anyone claims that they do not lie, are ironically probably lying. Perhaps even to themselves. And so I say to the original poster to be compassionate towards yourself about this poor judgement you have made. I understand you lied because you wanted a job to provide food and shelter for you and your wife. Was it the right choice? No. But that doesn't make you a bad person. I believe your deeper intentions were good, but your approach was not. Let it be a moment that leads to growth and self-improvement.
Yep, we all have our flaws and make poor decisions like this. There are actually people in powerful positions that got there by lying. Those are the people that I am concerned about, not someone fibbing about job experience because they are feeling desperate for employment. Its a comparatively minor offense in the grand scheme of things.
Thing is with lies you get told off for what you did originally and then another telling off for having told lies and when lies come out its better to be honest and come clean.
If someone makes me food, and I do not like it, I might tell them that it is good, so as not to make them feel bad. Yes, it is a lie. And perhaps the right answer is to tell them that you hated the meal they personally cooked for you. But there are infinite unique versions of this same type of situation. And I think many people may lie in the interest of being polite. Too be clear, I do not endorse this, but I do understand it.
I've had food that I didn't like & I've told them it's not for me but thank them for the effort. Now if they choose to not to accept the truth that's on them not me & I've been honest and prevented myself from hurling my guts up .
Prime example is Salmon for some,reason that always upsets my tummy & the only time I tried it I had to spit it out .
I can eat any other fish & enjoy fish & making fish curry is something I love & enjoy just not Salmon.
I would say this is a rather complex topic, not black and white. Good or bad. Also very common. I have told people that I am feeling good when I am not with the intention of not burdening them with my own struggles. I think motive and intent are very important to consider.
To Protect Someone's Feelings: Saying "I love the gift!" even if it's not to your taste, to avoid hurting the feelings of the person who gave it to you.
To Encourage or Motivate: Telling a friend they are making great progress in their new hobby or fitness regime, even if the improvement is slight, to boost their confidence and motivation.
In Social Etiquette: Responding with "I already have plans" instead of bluntly saying "I don't want to go out with you," to gently decline an invitation without causing offense.
In Medical or Caregiving Settings: A caregiver might say "Everything will be fine" to a patient undergoing a difficult treatment, to provide comfort and hope, even if the situation is uncertain.
To Maintain Surprise or Joy: Saying "I have no idea where we're going for your birthday" to keep a planned surprise party a secret.
In Professional Settings: Telling a colleague "Your presentation was really interesting" to maintain good workplace relationships, even if you found it somewhat dull.
To Avoid Unnecessary Worry: Assuring children "The thunder is just the clouds playing" to prevent them from being scared during a storm.
I wouldn't treat my friends with such distain & lies as its not what true friends do.
If a friend of urs saw say ur partner having an affair that they should lie to U as its kinder to U or would U want the truth, see I can put a situation forward where honesty is best practice & if U choose to hate ur friend who told U the truth then that's U not being a good friend .
Plenty of other situations I can add for the answer is always be honest.
Also before joining this group most of us would like to ourselves by pretending we were fine & we would lie to loved ones. I bet there a many relationships ended due to lies & liars.
I would say a friend hiding the fact that your partner is cheating on you is a far cry from the types of "white lies" that I provided in the examples, such as a medical caregiver telling a patient that "everything will be fine", when they do not actually know that to be true. It is a lie meant to provide relief for someone facing the fear of uncertainty. That isn't like someone hiding knowledge of infidelities from you that you are personal friends with.
David U may be happy to lie to ur loved ones & happily be lied to & that's ur choice.
My morals are that lying isn't the truth regardless of colour or size. Also ur loved ones are the people U never lie to as they're ur support system.
Now I know how I prefer to live & conduct myself & U have shown that U are happy to condone lying.
Ask any woman who suffered violence from the men who said they loved them & ask those children who have been used as punch bags by violent men in their lives.
It's Christmas & I wish U a happy honest filled day. Goodnight
Merry Christmas, you have entirely missed my point and seem to have a twisted perception of what I am trying to communicate. While unfortunate, I shall maintain compassion towards you
My perception is that ur ok with lying & regardless of who too either. The post was more a confessional than anything to do with anxiety or depression. That is still my view.
Those people I share my life with know what I can & can't eat & being diabetic too they do make different things for me & I'm lucky I have people that go that far for me.
Yes we have all done that including me. But its called tact to spare someone's feelings. We couldn't get along as a society if we all just trampled over each other at every possible turn.
This is exactly what my husband has said for years. I totally agree, although it’s taken me about 46 of our 49 years relationship to accept this.
My mother was a compulsive liar so i grew up with it. My father left her after 36 years marriage, when I was 19. I was devastated as I was always daddy’s girl. He had waited until I was at university before taking this step.
Dad was the sensible parent who taught me about me about morals.
Unfortunately ur story is ringing massive bells as my ex did lie to our kids a lot she told her family lies & twisted it so her family blamed my then 11 year old daughter when it was their mother's actions were the total cause. She had no problem with telling lies & even told lies about my youngest daughter who was 7 at the time.
Thankfully she didn't put up any sort of objection when I told her in the divorce papers that I'm having the girls. This will be 20 years ago come June.
the thing is....if you are willing to lie about 9 moths of work experience.....what else will you do....it's better to be honest and give your explanation....the truth eventually comes out and you have to remember which lies you tell
I don't know about India (which is where you say you are from) but in the US and a lot of Europe it is VERY common to go 9 months or even much longer without a job, especially if you are older. Didn't quite understand the last part of your post but I think you said they are going to overlook the lie and take you on anyway. If so, you definitely lucked out. Hope it keeps up.
guys thank for your support , i dont believe in lying but employer now do not prefer people with gap , they think it is bcos of incompetencies ,anyway my agency seems to be considerate when i told them the truth,
Thank you all for your support, i feel happy after talking to here
Yes it is true & from my mid 20s I became a father & I did as I was taught by my father & as much as it suits U that people lie, I'm not one of those who U see as people. There are plenty of people who don't lie. Just read .
Also & I shall repeat is that he & others were happy for him to lie to his wife & it was about employment but is there anything else he has forgot to tell her & in his post in a Anxiety & Depression group his post mentioned neither & naturally it leads to questions.
not to beat a dead horse but that's what you should've done anyway....When I hopefully get back in the work force I'm hoping to have an easy transition....
So ur a stalker & a liar too again admitted by urself.
I've never said that I haven't lied in my life as I have & of course U must be a troll too as again U've skated over the fact that the OP has to do with neither of the conditions mentioned in the title of this post.
I bet U don't have any history either as it seems ur here trolling others & I do believe i know who U are & it's so transparent that I've decided I'm not going to bother with ur games & lies that Uve freely admitted to.
Welcome to the group & I hope U are able to stop telling urself lies everyday as U admitted & get some healing.
I shall leave U to ur lurking 🤪
Have U never watched that reality show called The Simpsons & their 30 years of dwarfism of the 3 kids they all suffer jaundice too bless them all.
Yes. I had a similar experience with him a year or so ago when I tried to explain something to him from a woman's point of view.
I got absolutely nowhere so I just labelled him another 'Mr Right Man' and opted right out. Its not worth the time and energy trying to discuss anything with someone like that who always insists their perceptions beat your lived in experiences.
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New job stress. Just got out of prison, can anyone relate?
Job hunting has got me down
...so I lost my job today
I don't like the new job!
I feel like a fake 
