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Meaningless Life, Fake world, Don't like this world

HI I'm new here. I would like to share my feelings. I have no interest in anything. I don't trust doctors or the pharmaceutical companys as they nearly killed me. I have an inner conflict with God, you have no idea what he let me to believe and be in anxiety over it just to mess with my head. I wish to not participate in life or society. Money means nothing to me. I use to own a big company. Im only 24 and feel like I'm done. I want nothing to do with this ugly world. Theres Diseases left and right. Medical problems, Health problems. tragedies the worst. for whats it all for. Ya? maybe take an antidepressant to numb the feeling like most of the US? all fake this whole world is fake everything runs under money, ego, desires. all fake and i want no part in it

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I hear ya.....I believe we make our own heaven or hell on this earth. And that's why I made my own little world here where I live.., my home....my garden, my cats, my life and when I shut the gates for the night...it's our space on this planet....so.....make your own world....make your own space and only let in who and what you want to....be selective....surround yourself with things that you like, and things that make you happy....forget about the rest of what's going on around you....you have no control over people places or things....but yeah, in the real world.....there are things we just have to put up with in life, and obstacles we have to deal with....but for me the alternative isn't so rosy.

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Thank you for your response. It’s helpful. It’s the mindset that comes with it. I suffer from childhood trauma and am now in treatment for it.

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I hear you, greenolive (good name). I never knew I had PTSD from childhood trauma and I see someone for that. But I shoved it as far inward as I could.

I had a great job, which became so stressful...all that sh*! I shoved came up & reared its ugly head.

Arthritis kicked my a$$ over the years. Back surgery pretty much disabled me. Now comes the red tape....

BUT, you are absolutely right about mindset. I didn't think I could do it, but I was able to get out of my head & focus. I'm still working on creating a space for this new me (hopefully), but I do have a home, a car, a hubby that loves me but cannot grasp why I'm not ok and, most importantly, I have a dog and a cat who absolutely adore me... Unconditionally!

Thank you for this post. I've been feeling a lot like you are but wasn't able to verbalize it. I'm 61 & want a life, so I'm gonna customize one!

Colleen

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great comment Colleen....good stuff....I understand it all....and it's proof that even though we kinda stumble through some stuff, we can end up being pretty much okay in life....we don't always have to go down in flames....we can deal with what come's our way and still survive....

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Thank you Colleen for your response, you sound so brave. The love from all sounds great! Wish you the best...

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I did too....badly damaged me and still effects me to this day....it's not something you 'Just get over'....as was once said to me, by the main offender no less. So....I am very glad for you that your in treatment for it....childhood trauma leaves scars on the inside that nobody else can see....but you feel them everyday. It is a lifelong learning on how to 'Live' your life with this.....it's not easy....and it's complex.

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So true faux

Thank you for the comments, appreciate them myself

🌺🌼 x

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Yup! I’m starting to see how a childhood can mold a persons personality.

You have to learn how to deal with the emotions and not just keep them bottled inside..

Best wishes

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Me too green olive regarding the childhood trauma.

I love what faux says here, it is helpful...

Best wishes 🌺🌼🌺🌼

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who better to help you than a friend who does really understand..I know your kindness always helps me feel better Olivia....

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Thank you faux..💕💕

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Hi Greenolive! Seems that you are a very productive person! I guess you are also very ambitious. I also do not like the world being so faked. It’s also flat...

I’m 27. Also had a company that used to work gloriously. Now it’s only... mountain of problems, incidents and debts.

Are you thinking on rebuilding your company? Even if in a shy way?

Ps. As it rings a bell a little bit ->

I’ve seen today a Netflix documentary on Scott Tucker. I have mixed feelings about the guy, I don’t want to spoil it, but I recommend to have a look. It’s called dirty money - payday.

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Yep society is like a flock of sheep mindlessly going around and around. What we thought was love and respect is nothing but ego, pride, desire, and greed like you mention. The good and genuine people are starting to die off while the wicked continue to mislead the flock of sheep into their own deaths. Exposing the truth as it is can lead people to calling you the “crazy” or the “delusional” one. In some cases the truth can get you killed because the world thrives on corruption for example wars bring a lot of money to the elites who are in control of the central banks. Another one that’s more simple is drugs. If you were to expose those that were doing drug trafficking you can be murdered because you’re stopping the drugs from going into the hands of the consumers for profit in return. All the wrong people are in power, innocent lives murdered and rape through wars, genocides that happen daily and the great nation turns a blind eye. Infidelity, child abuse, broken homes, mental illnesses, diseases, cancer, children’s bombed and gassed with chemicals out in Syria, cries and howls of the innocents for someone or anyone to come save them, I could go on forever. Almost everything is about money. When you die it’s money, when you try to live and survive it’s money, wanting to eat and drink is money, living in a house for survival is money, everything is money money money. Has it ever occur to you why such things as simple and basic like surviving cost money? You were born here on earth you have just as much right as anyone no matter the status, but no we are slaves to the damn corrupt leaders and the system which built it! No one cares about kindness or respect, no gives a flying fuck about the dead, dying, or mentally ill people. The mass majority of everyone is out to prove that they’re superior to you in every way. When someone sees you succeeding they’ll try and kick your teeth in, when you are kind enough to lend a hand but end up being used, when you worked your ass off to try and get a little love and appreciation from your peers or society, but end up flat on your back you really start to wonder if it’s all worth it. We have this motto or notion that we all want everyone in our lives to succeed, but in reality we hope and pray that misfortunes hit them and we’d rather you stay the fuck away cause you don’t fit our standards. In this age and time 3 of the most important things to have in my opinion are looks, wealth, and status. Not that being kind or generous wont do you shit, but it will certainly not guarantee you a life of equal opportunities as our country has promised us. I’d like to believe that although we may be able to walk outside and go to the mall or hangout with friends we’re somehow free citizens, but the way I see it is it’s just a tactic to keep us calm and not go berserk kinda like giving candy to a baby to shut him/her up. Do we really have a right to own a piece of land or water or is it just ours for the time being? Do our votes count or is it rigged no matter the percentage if they really wanted a certain individual to win? Just some things to think about when you hear of the word Liberty or freedom. Now back to our topic. How many people do you know that are suffering on bended knees praying for help? It’s astoundingly massive if I’m going to be honest with you. I see churches filled up the ass in the parking lots on sundays, but not a single act of kindness for the people of average to low classes or the dying! A video of the dying has maybe a few thousand views and a video of women and men twerking has over millions of views go figure. There’re kind people out there don’t get me wrong, but it’s quite rare and seems like only a very few left. I sometimes wonder what will happen when the balances shifts and the good people are gone from earth, are they going to start abusing each other or kill one another. This world is fake and so are majority of the people. Hollywood and society depicts heroes as attractive, tall, muscular, intelligent, and wealthy in movies while the less fortunate are seen as useless garbage or even cast as the villain. We see heroes from all shapes and sizes to ugly and beautiful that have done amazing and heroic deeds in real life! The only difference is one side is being shown to the world as the hero and the other side is being tucked or hidden away. Now let me first point out that I’m not hating on anyone or being salty it’s just that by painting a certain type of image and calling that “perfect” and everything else below that is bad what you’re doing is creating hate and spreading lies to others of the truth and that truth is kindness, intelligence, and evil simply cannot be determined by our outward appearance it hides inside of our minds and in our hearts. I know this might not be relevant to what you’re were saying in your post, but it does answer how fake the world we live in is really. Like you I’m not sure if I want to continue being part of something thats causing our Mother Earth anymore damage then it already is. Last note before I leave and that is through my experience people only seem to help because it makes them look good or that they’ll feel guilty for not helping because truth is we help out of our hearts not to gain something.

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Your a deep person

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I can relate to many of aspects you typed up.

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Thank you so much Benny3221 for sharing. Your definitely not alone on the thoughts. I believe there is a way of going along with it in a comfortable way such as perceiving through a different perspective. Im just not sure how or what...

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I'm so glad you wrote this, it makes me feel a lot better about my beliefs...less alone and wierd. I suffer from childhood PTSD also, and numerous additional sufferings from being abused as a child. I've come to realize that my entire life looked different than someone who hadn't gone through that type of trauma. At first I was embarrassed because people reacted to me by saying things like," You made that up", and so on... I ended up getting into hard drugs and have struggled with that for a long time now. I see the world the same way you do, but I still have to function in the world and find something, anything that brings me peace, joy, and motivation to wake up and actually get out of bed, out of the house, looking halfway descent...I needed something that gave my life meaning, something that was positive and not self-destructive. For me, I stumbled upon yoga. It sounds cliche but everyone told me to try it and I swore I did, lol, but once I actually went to a paid class randomly oneday, I really didn't know what the big deal was. I committed to it wholeheartedly and it doesn't make the bull**** stop, but it helps with coping with it, plus I love yoga ppl. Most of them are very "human", real, and honest. It made me realize that I wasn't perfect either and that judgement of others and the masks they wear had something to do with how I interpret my own mask... things like that... and love and compassion work better than fighting fire with fire. I used to live by thinking violence was the best and only answer- violent thoughts, violently rude, or brutally honest( honesty doesn't have to be brutal,the truth is already difficult enough) I think that's starting to change slowly but surely. Also, I was put through a treatment called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and it's based on mindfulness...I can't tell you how much it's helped me. It helped more than ANYTHING I've ever done...even more than yoga lol. I totally empathize with you, I definitely think Benny3221 laid out the facts of living on planet Earth, but there's an amazing side too. I believe there's a balance of both, we just have to look a little harder for the good sometimes-especially for us who live in poor cities with high crime rates, racism, poor education, tons of drugs, and holidays made just for debauchery. Some days are worse than others. Anyway, my point is, there's good people and good things happening, but you have to choose for yourself which side you're going to be on. Okay, that's my spiel... thanks for listening lol...and thanks for being honest about how you're feeling, that shiz takes courage.😊

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Amen. My thoughts exactly. Just not sure " what" to do, if I decide to check out of life so to speak. Start my own hippy commune??

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