Feel so unwanted. Loath this knowing feeling that I am probably now the only one single out of everyone I know due to being so

[Mijmijkey74]

Feel so unwanted, alone and unlovable. Loath this knowing feeling that I am probably now the only one single never been married never really been wanted and truly loved by anyone. And that's out of everyone I know it feels, because they all have someone in their lives it appears who loves and wants them, who care about them. It is embarrassing and extremely depressing and makes me feel even more hidious and repulsive facially due to me being so hideously ugly facially with this massive nose stuck on my face with it's massive wide open nostrils that I want to take an axe to and chop it off as it turns people off me so much and turns me off repulsed everytime I see my face. I never look nice as this hideous head on me ruins everything. Nice outfit and then people get to my face and reel back in disgust and I see them do it time and time again as if they are beautiful looking enough themselves to be repulsed by my whole head and the deformaties protruding from it bigger/finer/thinner/smaller than their own. Though I too am repulsed by it. Others reactions even young children and the elderly without me saying a word tell me enough in how tgey react and treat me, and how they also speak to me if they must. A baboons red flaming hideous arse is less repulsive than the whole of my head. I am treated as if I am a pile of vomit, hurled out green and black globby stringy sputum and a pile of dog 💩 to seriously avoid because it looks so repulsive! Nobody wants those repulsive things near them. People cringe to be seen with me because nobody likes being seen with anyone or anything repulsively hideous looking and me aging too is making it all worse along with my teeth falling out since my coma and I can't even afford dental implants so that is going to turn anyone off me even more when all my teeth are gone. I don't want to live this life anymore it is completely soul destroying and devastating. Absolutely nobody wants me in any way. Not even my own family members, loathed because of my facial appearance and grew up hearing repeatedly from people, even strangers about how big my nose is, how ugly hideous looking I was/I am, bullied because of it, had and still have people shout horrible insultive names at me. All because of this whole head stuck on my neck. Even an icu nurse who thought in my coma still that I couldn't hear her was insulting my appearance out loud I guess to another icu nurse in the room. I was furious and woke up. She admits her wrong doing in my coma diary, though doesn't say what she said, and I can't remember anymore but know it was derogatory about my apoerance and it made me so furious I woke up. Just want this torture that never stops that is my life to end in one way or another. It either gets better, or I die.

[gajh]

Are you in therapy or are you able to get therapy? It is very sad that you feel this way about yourself. I hope you are able to get some help.

[TailWags]

Wow, you sound so unhappy. I too am one of those single people. I remember feeling glad when i got older as people would stop asking me about a significant other, expecting me to have one when i was younger. Now many people are either still single or single again. I have dated a few people over the years, but nothing that "took". I do not know what you look like or the people who are around you. But i think in some cases people just dont meet their wonderful person. I havent met mine and now doubt i ever will. But one thing i know is i would rather be in no relationship than a bad one. I have met many people i definately would not want to date. Yet some of them are married and some very nice interesting people i know are not married. I also think that not all couples are as happy as they look. Being human can be hard. We are all plunked into one life or another. I have no idea why. But our differences are what define us as individuals. There are many sources of misery. We all seem to have some. Guess i dont have any wisdom or advice, just observations and opinions.

[CLB1125]

Im so sorry you feel so badly. Our physical features do not make up who we are. Do you talk with anyone to help you cope? You said you can’t afford implants, have you considered dentures? They are more economical. Just a suggestion. My son needs all his teeth removed and has decided on dentures because he can’t afford the implants. I’m glad you are here to talk with us.