I was involved in a car accident that was unfortunately my fault. I was feeling tired, lost my focus, and ran into a car stopped at a stop light. The woman in the car was pregnant. Thankfully, she was not hurt and the police did not call for an ambulance. I felt terrible and apologized to her many times. However, I later received a letter from her lawyer group saying that my insurance had to pay for her injuries. She had a doctor’s visit, and 6 chiropractor appointments. I never heard anything about the baby so I suppose no news is good news.
This incident is running/ruining my life. I think about it everyday. I’m beating myself up over potentially hurting someone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Written by
ProgDrummer
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First of all Hello and Welcome. I am glad you have joined us. It was an accident. It was not intentional. You did not harm anyone intentionally. Accidents do happen. You have insurance and that will pay for her injuries. She will recover. I am so sorry this happened to you. Hopefully as time passes you will think of it less and less. Don't beat yourself up over it.
You should consult a lawyer as well. They provide free consults. You can search on Avvo.com for a lawyer. You can probably get some free initial advice on that site. Post this same question on that site. I had to get a lawyer for my daughter. She was injured by someone a couple of years ago, so it's the opposite of your situation. But you should consult with a lawyer as well. Do this sooner than later.
There's probably a lot of residual things from the accident that's making it hard for you to forget the incident. It sounds like you need to sort through it. Hang in there.
Allow yourself to be a human. Humans get tired, humans lose focus and humans sometimes rear end people. You did not do this intentionally. You obviously have a lot of empathy for the situation. A 'mistake' does not make you bad, it just means you made a mistake just as every other person on the planet has. It is helping me to tell you this because I need to tell myself these same things as well. This will pass and life will go on. Take care of yourself!
Hiya ProgDrummer. Yes, you have to have some self-compassion. This happens all of the time, which is not great, but you are definitely not alone.
Your grief and remorse are a beautiful thing in this case! They show that you care! They motivate you to be even more diligent! I think you are a beautiful person and please try not to have shame around this. Let it motivate you to do what you can, and let go of the rest.
This incident does not affect your worth as a human, you have infinite worth as a person no matter what you do or don't do. I wish you peace, hope, and self-forgiveness. ☮️
Just to thoughts: all human beings make mistakes and the only bad mistake is one you don't learn from.
What helps me is inner parent stuff. What would a good parent say to you about this situation? I would think they would say, "It's ok, we all make mistakes. You are a good person because you are so considered about the woman in the other car. You are also responsible and had insurance that dealt with the situation. Please forgive yourself - we all have done things we regret. What's important is that you learned from it." Don't know if that helps, but I've had to learn to inner parent myself by working with a therapist and it's really helped.
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