Just need an ear

[Joyfulgrrrrrrrl]

I've been through a lot of crap this last year and realized that the only person I could count on saw me as an adversary even though he was the love of my life. I would like to work our way through it but by anxiety depression and possibly BPD or keeping me from ever getting back to being partners and I literally have nobody left in my life

[davidthecoder]

Hi there!

I think it is good that you came to this group. I know that it can be difficult to find people that are willing to listen without judging you. Since I also have anxiety, I can instantly relate to at least that part of your suffering. I know it is brutal and can be quite debilitating.

Two things that have been helpful to me are meditation and therapy. Lots of meditation. Every day. It takes commitment but over time I have trained myself to redirect my attention from my worrying thoughts and physical symptoms of anxiety, to my breathing. After a few minutes of focusing on the breath, my mind calms until I need to repeat the cycle when I again feel myself getting lost in my thoughts.

Anyways I just wanted to take a moment to show support for you here. That is why people come to this group after all. I also hope that others will drop a comment here as well, maybe with something that will resonate with you and that you will find helpful. I've personally had struggles with moving on from past relationships as well, so that is another thing that I deeply understand how painful that can feel. I tend to get some obsessive thoughts and so it can really be extremely difficult and has certainly been one of the biggest challenges of my life to deal with.

[Joyfulgrrrrrrrl in reply to davidthecoder]

Thank you for your reply. I've actually been searching for several hours trying to find places to connect. I am very active on Reddit and that is a great Community to laugh and discuss Etc but not quite the same as support.

[davidthecoder in reply to Joyfulgrrrrrrrl]

Yeah same, Reddit is actually the only social media I really use. Kind of like the anonymity because I feel like I can better express myself that way.

Deleted Facebook, that ended up being a pretty good idea I think. Seemed like everyone else was "living the life" while I was worrying about the world ending.

[Joyfulgrrrrrrrl in reply to davidthecoder]

I like Reddit because I can Bounce from Super heartfelt deep things too fun things that just bring a little smile and I never know which one I'm going to need at any given moment. I've kept Facebook just to connect with family members that I don't otherwise have much contact with and because I've lost contact with so many people over the years I haven't let it go yet. I don't engage much in it and now that my mom had pretty much love her ability to navigate anything, pretty much falling off from that as well.

[davidthecoder in reply to Joyfulgrrrrrrrl]

Yeah that is the appeal of Reddit for me as well, just good variety of content. Fun to jump around between them. Had to delete it and walk away for a bit since I was probably using it too much. Now that I came back I use it a lot less but still find myself feeling pretty good when I browse it.

Facebook would always show me ads for anxiety treatments, which always kind of freaked me out. Plus BetterHelp sold some of my data to Facebook...so that site just scares me too much with their data collection. They knew wayyyy to much about me.

But I don't want to detract too much from your original post! Nice to have you here with us.

[davidthecoder]

I would recommend looking for peer reviewed scientific studies about the benefits of meditation. It was only fairly recently that they had the technology required to measure things like the neuronal density of your brain. With these new technologies they can now know the effect that it has.

For me, it has taught me to redirect my focus on my breathing rather than worrying thoughts. But having anxiety, these worry thoughts still arise. It is about being aware of when this occurs rather than getting lost in these thoughts.

I am not saying this is easy to achieve. I have been practicing daily for years. It takes time, and I would not say it is a quick fix to anxiety. It is like physical exercise, you need to go to the gym a few times a week to maintain your fitness.