Can't see my granddaughter on her bir... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

92,674 members86,511 posts

Can't see my granddaughter on her birthday 😢

HopeforMiami profile image
23 Replies

I'm so heartbroken. It's not fair to her or to me or to the rest of the family. Because my son has a grudge against me.She's a ray of sunshine and I love her so much and she loves me too.

Children are not supposed to be used like that, or at all !!!

Written by
HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
23 Replies
Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

My heart breaks for you. I don't know how I would handle this

I'm very sorry for your pain

🐬

HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami in reply toDolphin14

It's painful but I have to have some sense of acceptance and give her all my love and affection when I get to see her on Thanksgiving.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply toHopeforMiami

Yes :) I want to wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving with your granddaughter :)

HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami in reply toDolphin14

Thank you so much. Every year when I get to see her I just burst into tears of joy and give her all my attention and love. ♥️

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply toHopeforMiami

Beautiful

❤️

LadyZen profile image
LadyZen

Sorry to hear about this. I hope you can find some peace and comfort today.

HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami in reply toLadyZen

Thank you so much ❤️

Arymretep profile image
Arymretep

I’m so sorry for you, I can never understand how people use children like they, we’ve had it in our family years ago with my Mum and my sister in law it’s awful, do try and keep in touch with your granddaughter though so she will grow up knowing just how much you love her.

HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami in reply toArymretep

I do whatever I can, and she does know that I adore her. I see her every Thanksgiving and we hug and kiss and spend most of the evening together, and that's what keeps me going. 🙏

PuzzleArt profile image
PuzzleArt in reply toHopeforMiami

I had much the same experience, but with my daughter, and it affected my time with both a granddaughter and grandson.Her reasons were not only not faur, but not true The one thing I can share is that it did not affect my grandkids opinion of me. They saw and heard what was really happening at the time, and they really have a good opinion of me. That is what you seem to sense during the time you do have with your grandchild. They are not "buying" it....meaning they think for themselves

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic

Ughhhh so sorry to hear this. Idk why parent child relations have to be so complicated. Sometimes it’s not easy especially when people have cement heads I call it. I hope you can see her soon and exchange a gift at least. Big hug. Hang in there dear.

HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami in reply toSayNOtoPanic

Cement head is right on the money!I will hopefully see her on Thanksgiving. That's the only time I get because it's the whole family.

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic in reply toHopeforMiami

🙏🏻and I’m sure you’ll have that gift ready. Just show her your love, she will know.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda

I'm so so sorry that U are unable to see your granddaughter & it's a shame ur son is being silly ( calmed down ) & making his own daughter suffer.

A suggestion if I may please.

Does ur son speak to U at all ?

If he don't speak to U then write a letter to him, do U know why he is upset ( don't tell me just probing ) if U do know then talk through the letter & mention how U miss his daughter & use gentle words when mentioning his daughter is missing out.

Worst thing is one day he will have the same done to him by his daughter as he will make it happen. He may hold all the cards now but we all tend to repeat things.

HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami in reply toDodgeDhanda

I appreciate your suggestion. I have tried texting him many times and even send him songs. But he's fighting some kind of inner battle that I can't understand or get any sense out of it. He might feel threatened because she loves me very much and he needs to feel he's in control.

I hope he makes peace with himself for her sake at least. The last thing I wish is for her to have to go through any pain of being in conflict with her Dad because they love each other.

I just want everyone to have peace and compassion and understanding.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply toHopeforMiami

A letter from the heart in ink carries a lot of pull.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply toHopeforMiami

Also ask him why it like this? As when we all get older we do forget a few things.

It's totally up to U & honestly if that was me I would gladly bounce my head of a wall to get past this point.

Tell me to stop it if I'm pushing U too much.

HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami in reply toDodgeDhanda

No, you're not pushing. I appreciate your input.There is no reason. He's just angry because I haven't been able to babysit sometimes because of my depression and anxiety and he doesn't seem to think that is a valid reason. He's a little bit controlling and very sensitive since he was a baby. And I think he feels rejected. But he needs to understand that he should not want to leave my granddaughter with me if I am having bad anxiety or depression. Other times I have bent over backwards to be with her, even having her at work with me.I think eventually he will have to get over it because she will demand it.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply toHopeforMiami

Hey HFM.

Oh I'm so sorry that ur son is being rather silly by being a petty toward U for putting health 1st.

I always preach that if we don't look after ourselves then who else is going to bother.

I do hope he realises that he is being rather petty & setting a very bad example for his daughter .

Is he a dig his heels in type of person? As it is holiday season I'm reminded even Ebenezer Scrooge changed his hardened stance.

I will send my thoughts out into the universe, so that the solution presents itself & works everything out for the positive.

Lastly

I wish U love & light on ur journey.

HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami in reply toDodgeDhanda

Thank you Dodge. Love and light is always the answer.I wish you the same.🙏

catsrock profile image
catsrock

That's awful. I'm sorry.

Midori profile image
Midori

I'm wondering if he feels left out because you shower so much love on your grandchild. It seems silly to me but sons can get jealous if they feel possessive about their mums.

Cheers, Midori

HopeforMiami profile image
HopeforMiami in reply toMidori

Funny you should bring that up. It's a very good point and could have a lot to do with the problem. Thank you for your insight. I will remember that next time I see them and try to shower some love and attention on him

🙏✌️

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

TW : I can't live anymore. *Note see my previous post

I can't even function. And God is my withness i tried my best. I came home from classes and i was...

My Birthday

Hey everyone I hope you all are doing well and if not I hope you stay strong and I'll be praying...

My mother’s birthday tomorrow

I have been working so hard to make it the best birthday ever for mom, there’s this new thing I...

Once you see a pattern, you can't un-see it

The recent downfall of my marriage has made clear a pattern that has been recurring over and over...

I just want the world to see her smile...

If you read my last post, you know I lost my 11 year old cousin yesterday cause some idiot decided...

Moderation team

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.