Yesterday I was walking past a homeless man there are many in my home town I could see he was suffering terrible with the cold and completely out of no where I felt a strong pull in my chest it was strong enough even to pull me from my usual overthinking and anxiousness I don’t know why on this particular occasion but I wanted to do something to help so I asked the man can I get you anything from the shops food or drinks.
He said to me I’d love a coffee mate please.
Now to put in context the nearest coffee machine is another 10 mins past the main Sainsbury’s to the petrol station.
Again my brain would insist that I have far to many things to worry about today to go and get that coffee so I froze up.
again I don’t know why on this occasion but I could still feel the pull inside me so I allowed my brain to continue but forced my legs to go get it.
The journey there and back was emotional for me because I knew that I was doing something kind for no reason other than to do it but my overthinking protested the whole way infact so you know I’m not making it up my brain actually questioned weather he was lactose intolerant and was I about to poison him !
As I reached back to him I handed the coffee over to him and carried on walking past as he thanked me I didn’t even stop.
but the second I handed the coffee over my mind fell silent.
I’m now questioning whether I have not been living my life in the right way perhaps I’m lacking an accurate compass.
Looking for Courage to move on 
How do I get the courage
Where to find the strength and hope
Finally finding some peace
Trying to find meaning in my life
