Separation Anxiety, How to Cope?

[headlikeahole]

Hello!

I am in a long distance relationship and we both live in the US, but about 12 hours apart. I recently visited my boyfriend for the first time and stayed with him for a month. I had to return home almost a week ago.

I knew this would be hard, but I didn’t expect it to be just this difficult. He’s my home and I can barely stand to be away from him. I feel so safe and loved with his presence. Being back home doesn't feel right, I feel like I’m meant to be with him forever.

This constant anxiety makes me ill. I cry so much. I have no appetite. No distractions help for long. I do find that it helps to have good, long conversations with friends, but it’s impossible for everyone to always be available. I feel great when my boyfriend and I call each other at night, but these feelings return the next day.

The smallest things remind me of him. I saw a certain food we ate together and burst into tears. I look at out pictures and I can’t help but breakdown.

I know this can put immense pressure on him and I feel awful for it. I’m terrified I’ll scare him off. I can’t imagine a life without him, I can’t even remember what life was like before I met him. I just don’t know what to do with myself.

I know I’ll see him again, we have already loosely planned my next visit and it’s only a few months away. But I cannot help but think of when I will have to leave him again and I’ll feel like this all over again. Those few months seem like they will take forever and then our time together will fly by. We’ve discussed getting an apartment together but both have to save up a lot. I’m trying to remind myself that it won’t be long distance forever.

If anyone has any tips or their own stories to share regarding separation anxiety, please do so!

[trenton913]

Hi! I am actually in a very similar situation, I’m in long-distance but we haven’t met yet. You should feel grateful and happy you’ve found someone that fills you with so much love and happiness! Try to enjoy it, don’t let yourself catastrophize and allow yourself to enjoy a good thing. It sounds like you have an amazing and happy relationship, never give up hope that one day soon you’ll be together. It sounds like you two are already making it happen, and I’m so happy for you. Some good strategies I’ve found to help shift my mindset are breathing exercises while focusing on positive aspects of my life. Also, in moments of spiraling emotions, Wim Hof is magical! It definitely won’t be long distance forever, and with the sound of the strength of the love you two share, it will be much sooner rather than later! Breathe and be strong. Everything will be okay.

[headlikeahole in reply to trenton913]

Thank you!!