Stuck in an anxiety/insomnia loop

[GetOverItGal13]

Hi all,

I have been having Sunday scaries and every work night scaries for about a week and I’m scared of nighttime. I have missed work 3 times in one week. Meditation and deep breathing not working. How do you stop the pounding heart?

[GlowingDarkly]

As someone who is also going through something similar, when meditation and deep breathing doesn’t seem to work, I go into movement mode - I pace and think which I think could probably be upgraded to literally getting onto some sort of treadmill or similar exercise.

From a more long term perspective, I have also spent a good deal of time self reflecting about the source of my anxiety/fear that I am face with. So for me if there is something about my upcoming day that, let’s generously phrase it as: “Not looking forward to,” I really have to look take apart what it is about that situation that has me so worked up.

In one case, prior to a job interview I was stressing about what I would say or how I would come off, etc etc (the normal anxiety around these things). And I discovered that if I dedicated time looking up common interview questions and formulating some responses ahead of time then practicing phrasing them aloud, that it would help me feel more prepared. It took a lot of uncertainty out of a lot of the situation.

Of course, that is just a very specific example and I am not sure what your situation might be. Whatever your triggers are for your night time anxiety, it might rooted much deeper, in from past trauma that you have not yet been able to confront. If you are someone who is avoiding confronting someone or something, I would be more proactive about identifying why it is you are avoiding that thing.

By no means this is perfect advice, and I wish there was a one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to this issue. If there was, I’d have loved to learn it years ago.

Just know that you can get through it, you will survive and the most exposure you have to the things you fear, the better you will be at handling those situations. And as someone who has often in the past missed work because of anxiety/insomnia related issues, I strongly advise that you push through and tell yourself that it’s better to show up for work and then ask to leave early than to not show up at all.

Being passive about your anxieties at night will only let the gremlins feed more on your mind. At least that has been the case for me.

[GetOverItGal13 in reply to GlowingDarkly]

Thank you so much for your reply and very good advice. The part that resonated with me the most was about the importance of pushing through. I am an insomniac to the point of no sleep at all last night. I have the worry about something happening to me while working (I teach 2nd and 3rd graders) that it crippled me today, but I made an appointment with my therapist for tonight and am meeting with my general practitioner Wednesday to come up with an action plan to get me over the insomnia hump for now. Long term, I might have to look for another teaching gig. I also agree with movement too. I am able to calm down when I move and stretch at night, but then once I try to lay back down again, the racing heart returns. There is definitely no one size fits all approach. I am praying I find the one for me for now. Thank you again for such an intelligent response. I truly appreciate it.

[GlowingDarkly in reply to GetOverItGal13]

Glad that something I wrote helped you out. Education is such a tough industry, in my opinion, and teachers are often so taken for granted not just by students and the parents, but just society in general. A close friend of mine recently started teaching high school history and he’s been struggling to find the right fit for him, so I can appreciate a lot the anxieties surrounding your situation.

If you ever feel like you’d like to vent about something, feel free to PM me, my ear is always open.

[Zhangliqun in reply to GetOverItGal13]

Short term, ask your doctor about Trazadone. It is excellent for relieving night anxiety and has the bonus of making you drowsy.

Long term, find out what's causing all this so you can fight it more effectively.

Medium and long term, thought replacement therapy. When anxious thoughts come, force the thought out of your head and replace it with something pleasant. Fall foliage, baby bunnies playing, a pleasant memory, anything that is soothing and reassuring.

It will seem impossible at first so don't give up after the first 50 or 100 failures. Before you know it will become second nature and you will be less anxious about the anxiety returning.

And finally, eternal term: check out some ancient psychiatry from the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:6-8...

[Hidden]

youtu.be/uAveTGR93Lk?si=62W...(Not working as expected?)

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi GOIG13.

I'm sorry ur having a hard time of things with a dose of insomnia too.

I too have been there & when the night rains & storms , with whitnoise too , I finally found that I if I read, watch or play a game , well my fave things I find it helps me relax more & fall asleep, recently I have my go to movie & start out to watch it & soon enough it'd be the end credits rolling & I was asleep for over 60 precious minutes & I go again if my tiredness has been wiped out by my insomnia.

However after meeting with my local crisis team they gave me some sleeping tablets that are of help now & I'm back upto between 3 to 4 hours & if I'm really tired I sleep during the day, even if it's not part of the plan, I listen to my body & if it's tired enough I will go back to sleep within 20 minutes usually but I do need some background noise to stop my brain from working against me.

Lastly

I wish U love & light on ur journey

[punkster]

You can try keeping a journal and writing about how the day actually went. I have had the "Sunday scaries" myself, and I was able to get over them by reminding myself of how the day that I dreaded actually went. Most of the time the day I was afraid of was nothing to be afraid of.

[designguy]

What helped me a lot with anxiety was learning that it is a paradox, the more we fight or struggle with it or try denying it, the more it persists so the solution is to learn to accept the sensations and know that your anxious thoughts are just lies. One of the things I would do when I was in bed with my heart pounding is lay on my chest and try to make my heart pound more and louder. Knowing what is really going on and that it's just anxiety helps reduce the fear about it, it takes time but it works. Another thing is to try not worrying about not sleeping, it's the worrying about it that maintains the not sleeping. I've been amazed at how well I can do on no sleep for 2 or 3 days and even longer. If I really can't sleep for a while, I will resort to taking an Ambien which works for me, i've also found Valerian Root tincture helpful, with a dropper full under my tongue right before bed.

Another helpful thing is to understand that your anxiety is trying to get your attention to deal with whatever is causing the anxiety. In my case a lot of mine was from repressed rage and anger about the way I was raised and was punished and shamed for showing any signs of even normal anger or being proud of myself or trying to stand up for myself. I also had low-self-worth because of it. Therapy was very helpful for investigating it, understanding it and processing it in order to heal.

For learning how to constructively deal with anxiety/panic, I found the DARE Anxiety book and youtube helpful, you might also check out the youtubes of Paige Pradko, Emma at Therapy in a Nutshell and the books/youtube of Dr. Claire Weekes.