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My anxiety is destroying me,klonopin tapering ruins me.

Swilly97 profile image
78 Replies

So, I'm tapering off klonopin currently and I'm miserable. I'm getting rebound anxiety and it's on an endless loop. I've tried all my coping strategies and skills and nothing's working.

I'm disassociating constantly also.

I don't really know what's next. Idk how long this'll last and I'm feeling hopeless. Yesterday was really bad and I'm really trying to not repeat yesterday. I'm tired and wired. Exhausted in every which way. I want to sleep but my anxiety won't let me. I can't eat because I'm nauseated, living on bites of food and Zofran.

I have crying spells often and I feel fragile, vulnerable, and sensitive. I guess I'm venting. I want so badly to have a functional day damn it! I get angry with this crap! 😤

The shittiest part is that I was put on this medication (20 years ago by a general practioner) not knowing that I'd have to deal with this. That's what happens. I get meds thrown at me with no knowledge or education on them. "Here, take this. You'll feel better". They see such easy answers to, such complicated problems. I know meds can help but, no one ever tells me "hey, take this BUT you're going to have a tough time with it in so many ways such as-it's tough on your liver and kidneys and your stomach will become ulcerative. Oh and good luck getting off of it, it's awful". I would have appreciated that honesty.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle tapering symptoms? Really, advice on anything. I'm desperate and down. I really don't wanna deal with this anymore. This is not the life I want.

Thanks

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Swilly97
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Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books

Hi Swilly. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Not knowing how long it's going to take doesn't have to be part of the problem. There's a help for that. The Ashton Manual. Wait, I'll try to find a link for you. Heck, your doctor knows this, it's lousy they didn't let you know.

Give it a read, then get back to your doctor for help.

* I don't think they ever bother to warn you in advance. Ya, it's awful.

benzo.org.uk/manual/

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

Thank you so much!! I've never heard of it and that's super helpful. Thank you dear friend. I appreciate you. 🙏

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Swilly97

You're very welcome. What's up with the freaking doctors not sharing this themselves!

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

Seriously though! I just read some of it and it's very good informative. I'll keep reading more. It's helping because it's concrete proof. Thank you, again

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books

I do have one bit of advice. Pull out your calendar, and circle the dates for each new taper. Slow and steady is really important. It's great to have at least that much control.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

That's a good idea. I hadn't thought of it. That would help. My doctor is in charge of this and I feel like he's doing it too fast but, he dismisses me when I try to voice my concerns. (I am going to a new doctor soon thank goodness). Also, I asked for a non controlled substance in lieu of klonopin and he gave me hydroxazine which made me feel worse. Ughs. Thank you, I appreciate your help so much.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Swilly97

Print up the link I gave you, show it to your doctor, and say you do not want his fast taper.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

That's a good idea. I don't like him. He's rude.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Swilly97

So what else is new?

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

Nothing much. I say same s**t, different day 🤪. How are you?

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Swilly97

Ya. Well. Nothing good to share, maybe I should just zip it.

Trying hard to distract myself and be as busy as I'm up to.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

Busy is good. I have to do the same. Sending light and positivity your way ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️💛💛💛💛💛💛

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Swilly97

Speaking of light, did you manage to open the curtains today?

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

No. I'm ashamed to say I haven't. It's cloudy, do I still have to? Lol

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Swilly97

Naw, keep them cloudy skies out.

youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-t...

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

I'm walkin on sunshine! I love this song! Thank you 😊

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Swilly97

If you find something -- a not-controlled substance -- that helps, please let me know.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

I will. A while ago, I took clonidine and it helped so I think I'm gonna ask for that.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Swilly97

I just saw some doctors are prescribing it for anxiety. I hope it helps you.

💜💜

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Nothing_but_books

Thank you 💛💛

Newby4201 profile image
Newby4201 in reply to Swilly97

So, you only want to take meds for anxiety temporarily? Because that's what klonopin & hydroxyzine is for, temporary relief of anxiety symptoms. If I'm not mistaken you said you were on klonopin for 20 years. If you are looking to stay on anxiety meds. I was told that a lot of people "bridge" from benzo's to SSRI's or SNRI's. I recently read the transition is much easier and has less side effects, also the SN or SSRI takes effect much faster since you already have the benzo in your system. That is, if you plan on staying on them for a period of time. Please check with your doctor. Hope this helps.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Newby4201

I thought I replied but I don't see it. I am on lamictal, effexor xr and, zyprexa. Idk how well they're working because I've been on them for so long.

Yeah, the benzodiazapine use was long but, I didn't know at the time that they put me on them that they were supposed to be used short term. I went from doctor to doctor and they just kept prescribing it. I was ignorant to the system and trusted doctors which I now know I can't.

I hate hydroxazine. It made me feel worse. I wanna maybe try clonidine.

Newby4201 profile image
Newby4201 in reply to Swilly97

Oh, my Psych doctor did the same, she prescribed Klonopin and told me I could stay on it indefinitely. I have pharmacophobia so I research every med prescribed to me. SO, I knew she was being untruthful about it, however, I was so desperate because of the horrific anxiety symptoms I was experienciing that I would take a half .05 when & if I needed it. I must admit benzo's are great at making us feel better fast. I suspect that's why they take hold of our brains so quickly and are hard to withdraw from. I wish there was a med like it but not as physically addictive. You will be fine once they are out of your system, please take care!

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Newby4201

Thank you!! I agree 100%. It's a great fire/panic extinguisher.

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply to Nothing_but_books

Hey friend! Have you tried Buspar? Not a controlled substance. I was on it years ago and it really helped. Am considering going back on it. It's not a fast acting drug but one that needs to build up in your system. I had success with it. Am considering going back on it. My Ativan isn't always helping. I only take it prn. Trying to get in to see the doctor but can't get in until the middle of November. Am on his cancellation list..

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to bethelbee

Yes, I tried it a while back. Gave me pain and horrible digestive problems. I'm very sensitive to meds. Hardly anything I don't react badly to.

Won't your doctor call it in for you before the appointment?

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply to Nothing_but_books

Probably not until he sees me. He's not the one that put me on it years ago; have only been seeing him 3 years. I was living in AZ at the time I was on it(late 80's). Sorry you didn't have any luck with it or much else....

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to bethelbee

You could try calling 211 and asking if there is a mental health clinic nearby that could help. November! I'm sorry.

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply to Nothing_but_books

Just going to wait. I did look into maybe trying a new doctor but other ones near me got really shitty reviews and I really don't want to start with someone new. There's a new doctor starting next month at my therapist's office (where my present doc is from) and I am also on her list as well. Some days are bad anxiety wise, but I'm not in crisis. Luckily my depression has lifted somewhat.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to bethelbee

That's good news. I wouldn't mind some of that.

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply to Nothing_but_books

I hope things get better for you❤️ Here is a picture of my two new girls I adopted the beginning of last week. They are year and a half old sisters. Will have to separately post the other one, can only do one picture on here at a time.

Mitzi
Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to bethelbee

You know the way to my heart. Mitzi looks like she's already settled in. Oh my, Emme is stunning!

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply to Nothing_but_books

Thx! They're still getting settled. They get skittish, but are very sweet. I can't approach them without them running away from me but they will come to me on their own to be loved on.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to bethelbee

Two females? I think skittish is pretty normal. Sounds like you're making progress.

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply to Nothing_but_books

I am making progress. Giving them space an time...

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply to Nothing_but_books

Here is Emme. It's nice to have kitties again after losing Holly last month...

Emme
Wildflower13 profile image
Wildflower13

SLOW and STEADY! just shave a bit off the pill if you need to each day, remove just a little at a time. Don’t try to do too much too fast, it is horrible. I know, I’ve been there. I do want to tell you that it gets better, I’m living proof. But I truthfully know how hellish it is right now.

I’ll be honest, it took me a few months to feel better, but I taped way too fast. If I have to taper off something again in the future I will definitely go soooo much slower.

Hang in there. It will get better. You’ve got this❤️

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Wildflower13

Thank you so much!🙏 That's helpful to hear.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97

Thanks hun 🙏

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic

Swilly, is there a reason why they are tapering you off the klonopin? I’ve noticed people at different times talk about that and they won’t allow them to continue on it though they have been for years. And I’m disturbed by that because is it a new discovery like it’s not good for people to be on long term or just a new protocol approach and no one is thinking of the patient effect? So sorry you’re feeling the hell of it! I hope it slows down and lets up a bit. Are you able to cut it up so it’s slow reduction?

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to SayNOtoPanic

It's basically what you said. It's been too long and could be causing harm. I'm just miserable because it's the only thing that helps those physical symptoms of panic attacks. And, it's been my buddy for so long. I'm like 'really, you expect me to battle agoraphobia without klonopin. Ok.' Ya know? I'm adjusting to a new life and it's hard.

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic in reply to Swilly97

Totally get what you’re saying. Thanks for explaining. It’s so confusing to me cause I always see posts about it hey they’re taking it away after 20 plus years or even with very close relatives and friends before they had it for the physical symptoms only where ssri didn’t work and physicians seemed fine with it in those situations. So I’m like floored like wow medicine left from that but did anyone check what the effects are or just getting off it. Are you able to cut it up like the ssri tapering?

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to SayNOtoPanic

Yes it's a regular pill. Problem is that my current doc is in charge of it. I'm seeing a new doc soon, I can't wait. I don't like the one I have. Hopefully I can distract myself enough to just not focus on it idk.

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic in reply to Swilly97

God speed your new doc to you and hopefully more support and understanding 🙏🏻hang in there Swilly.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to SayNOtoPanic

Thank you 🙏

been trying to taper off clonozepam for over 25 years. not happening

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to litethatnevergoesout

Right! It's terrible! This new doc isn't feeling right.

Alanarsenal profile image
Alanarsenal

Hello and good morning,I have been experiencing similar symptoms and I was given some light medication to help me sleep and feel a bit more relaxed in the days. I then began going to church and going to the gym and sauna.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Alanarsenal

Do you mind sharing what you were given for sleep and if it's helping? I haven't slept in more than two weeks and I'm messed up.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Alanarsenal

Yes, what are you taking now?

Alanarsenal profile image
Alanarsenal in reply to Swilly97

I take 20mg before bed of Promethazine which has the brand name called Phenergan.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Alanarsenal

I like promethazine but idk if doc will give me that. It's almost a controlled substance so idk. Always worth a shot. Thank you 😊

Alanarsenal profile image
Alanarsenal in reply to Swilly97

I took 40 mg before bed for a couple of weeks and my sleep improved and my anxiety lessened but it made me very thirsty so I reduced my dose. It was prescribed but it can be bought over the counter in the pharmacy.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Alanarsenal

Really?! Where? I need this information lol I take Zofran for my tummy upset but, it's prescribed and I only have like 8 left.

Figgins42 profile image
Figgins42

The Ashton Method. You MUST find a Doctor that will use this form of tapering using Valium. I went through it and I got off of Klonopin. I was suffering for years on it. Are you in the United States? I had found a list of doctors that use the Ashton Method and luckily he was in New Jersey where I lived at the time. Got me off Klonopin and onto Valium in one visit. Valium is a much smoother and longer acting benzo. I've stayed on it in a lower dosage because I need it for anxiety. I was also uninformed when a doctor got me hooked on Klonopin at 18. Here's the link and I will try to find that list of doctors for you. Go back up on the Klonopin for now if you're feeling this badly. I mean it. Why suffer?

benzo.org.uk/manual/bzsched...

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Figgins42

Thank you 🙏

gerrerd profile image
gerrerd

Hello Swilly, I use the Sedona method when faced with these feelings, Its a form of releasing and allowing, google it. see what you think.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to gerrerd

Oh! Thank you I will! 😊

Spooky99 profile image
Spooky99

I’m sorry you’re feeling awful! This is a good place to vent. Omg I hear you. But I won’t go off my clonopin. It’s been decades!! I honestly can’t get out the door without it. Now I’m worried about everything you mentioned. I hope you feel better soon!!!!! I’m sure others have good advice. I think I would do myself in without it. I already struggle with it. Doctors were awful!!! Hugs and best of luck

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to Spooky99

Thank you 🙏

primrose81 profile image
primrose81

I must say I am very wary of coming off any drug too quickly and did the complete opposite of what my psychiatrist said. He advised stopping immediately in two instances - coming off Lorazapam and Zopiclone. In each case I tapered off very slowly over a period of about 4 months or so. I referred to the Ashton manual and also there was excellent advice about coming off Zopiclone by Pathfields, sorry I can’t remember the full name. On the other hand, my son went « cold turkey » and wanted to stop with immediate effect. I just couldn’t cope with the idea of crashing badly and having horrendous side-effects from withdrawal, even though I was told by the psychiatrist that they would be temporary and probably only last a couple of weeks… I just didn’t believe him!

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic in reply to primrose81

Awful! Easy for them to say it’s temporary. Sorry you dealt with that prim. Glad you listened to your instinct. I just don’t get why they don’t promote tapering safely off these kinds of serious meds.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to SayNOtoPanic

Right!

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to primrose81

Yeah, I definitely need my appointment with my new doc. This provider is proving incompetence. I don't like him. I understand though. The withdrawal is always scary for me, with any med. Apparently you can get seizures if you cold turkey klonopin so I can't do that. 😕 That's disturbing in and of itself. I just want this over with. Thank you for helping 🙏

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97

Thank you, that's so kind. 🙏💛✨️

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee

Hi Swilly! So sorry you are having such a rough time coming off the Klonopin. Ask your doctor about possibly trying Buspar when you are ready to start something else. Don't know if you know anything about it, but it's not a Benzo, not a controlled substance and not a fast acting drug. It's one that takes time to build up in your system, one that is taken daily. I was on it several years ago and it worked really well for me. I am considering going back on it. Have been on Ativan a while but only as needed and lately it doesn't always help. I've gone weeks without needing it but the past few weeks my anxiety has been really bad, some days debilitating and have had to take it daily. I really hope you are able to get through this and get on something that helps. Glad that Nothing But Books gave you some great information!!

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to bethelbee

Thank you so much, I appreciate your help! I was on Buspar at one point about 20 or so years ago so, I don't remember much about its efficiency on me but, it's worth a try. Thank you again!

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply to Swilly97

You're welcome!

morcan54 profile image
morcan54

my son is on clonotill 2mg and he was taking more some days and when he tried to reduce he became very ill nothing was helping him he is been on this pill also 23 years along with effexor 150mg recently we visited another dr and he gave him zyprexa10mg since he start on this he cut down 1 mg he is more relaxed and he sleeps beter he has increase heart pulse and he has to be carefull about blood presure going low ask your psychiatrist about this pill .

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to morcan54

Thank you 😊 I do actually take both effexor xr and zyprexa. I like zyprexa. It helps me sleep. The effexor, idk, I've been on it for so long idr how I felt before it ya know? I hope it's helping still. I'm gonna talk to my new doc about a couple new meds that just came out and maybe going up on effexor. Thank you again!

morcan54 profile image
morcan54 in reply to Swilly97

ask about cibralex this has help my son when effexor dident all this tablets take time to work 2to3 weeks

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to morcan54

Thank you, I'll look into it.

I took Klonopin for almost thirty years non-stop. At certain times my dose was as high as 3-4 mg per day. I tapered down before stopping it completely 18 months ago. Several years ago I had to get a new psychiatrist. He told me that he was shocked that I still had all my “faculties” after taking so much for so many years! This was a wake up call that he would even say this to a patient. He said he has patients who have developed early unexplained dementia with a common correlation of all using Klonopin long term. Apparently it’s becoming a more common risk factor they did not know about years ago. Yes, like you, I wish they would have explained the pros/cons to me at the beginning although not sure I would have listened as I was too young to care then. It’s such a difficult med to get off of and now the worry of dementia will be forever with me. I feel your pain. I’ve been where you are. Take it slow and steady. If it’s not right to discontinue for you right now, that’s okay too. Wish I had better advice … just sharing my experience of this dreaded med with you.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to

Yes, that's weird they you mentioned that bc I literally just saw that somewhere like this week lol

But yes, I'm concerned. Dementia took my grandmother and it was awful. Ughs.

Thank you for your help here I appreciate it. It feels good to hear from people that were where I am. I was taking 3mg a day. Now I'm at 2mg. I hope it goes better as time passes.

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to

Oh and! Congrats for getting off it! It gives me hope

Hey! Just a back story on why I knew it was time to quit: Drove 45 miles away from my home one night in pouring down rain to a Compound pharmacy to pick up the “tapered amount” for thirty days. Put it in my coat pocket, ran back out to my car. Prescription fell out of my pocket when getting in the car. Major flooding was going on and I didn’t realize I’d lost it until I got home. I had none left to my name and was highly dependent on it. Drove all the way back, completely freaking out, pharmacy was closed and I found prescription in a puddle of water and tablets had turned to mush. Called doc the next day explaining what happened but you know, they’ve heard the ole “I lost my prescription” before story. Had to fill out numerous papers with a notary signature regarding my declaration that it was indeed lost/ruined by water, even though I took it to them and physically showed the doctor what happened. This is when I KNEW I could not do this drug anymore and began my “sick and tired of it” phase which led me to success stopping it for good. Funny how those silver linings work eh? 🤔

Swilly97 profile image
Swilly97 in reply to

Gosh! You're story is full of hope though.

Yeah, I get it. My body and mind are very dependent on it and I didn't even realize it until I started tapering. I get so damn anxious and my mood is crap. I want it over with.

Thank you for sharing your story I appreciate that. It sheds some light on my situation.

I have to see a new Dr in 2 days and I have to be honest about it all and I'm scared that he won't take me on as a patient. Idk what to expect. I hate judgement and criticism ya know? I'm anxious about a lot and, my best coping "skill" is going away. Idk how to manage my anxiety without it. That's messed up isn't it? Anyway, thank you, again.

morcan54 profile image
morcan54 in reply to Swilly97

i must metion my son was on almost 8 to 9mg a day and he was very ill couldent eat sleep or relax had anxiety in his stomch and panic attacks even on this high mg we saw new psychiatrists and he put him on ciblralex20mg along with effexor 150mg as he was on effexor and also zyprexa10-mg and he cut down clonotil to 4mg a day and he has no promlem he is much beter sleps eats he is relaxed and in about 2 weeks he will cut all clonotil thank god so far he feels beter i hope he still feels good when all this horrible tablets leavs he is system

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