hello darkness

[KingkittyS]

I come now feeling depressed and defeated. I feel mostly sad than mad. I am angry about life. I had enough of people breaking my heart, by leaving me to start their new life as an adult. I am hurting deeply. Just as a background about me, I have high functioning autism, bipolar 2, and have suicidal thoughts. I tried to take my own life a couple of times since age 14. I am in a dark pit of despair. What advice can you give? How can I get through this? What should I do to lift my spirits?

[PuzzleArt]

I have known 2 people who were suicidal and made attempts. They both continued in support groups. Both got to a point where they did not make attempts anymore. Yes, they still had some problems, but had people they knew that they could talk to, and were able to trust and confide in. Try to find people who you can trust. It might take some time, so be watching for those who might end up being a good friend. You can make it and the past doesn't have to be a predictor of the future. Things don't just get worse. They can get better also.

[catsrock]

Please call a suicide hotline (988 in the US) or some other type of support line to talk you through this. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time and hope things are better soon.

[mizzou7016]

Find things that will occupy your mind and keep you positively focused...I do pour painting....I try to draw and do journaling....to help me focus. I understand the people pleasing struggle....I fight it daily...both at work and at home...just do the best you can. As for the dreaded S word...it's an easy solution to a complex problem. and it really just creates more problems. the pain and anguish is temporary.....you can get through anything....you're living proof. and Lastly.....although you may not believe it or understand it......the world is a better place because you are in it...Please don't give up hope and keep tryings

what i do to help

[Boston001]

I can't speak for you, we all have our own back story. I was self-destructive at 19. I started learning that the kids I thought were my close friends were just people that going to move on to college, and or get married and cut off all their old acquaintances. It's not because of me, it's just a part of growing as a person. There is a lot of loneliness in adult life and the truth is our childhood doesn't really teach us what to expect as adults. Long vacations from school, and getting food and clothing handed to us were just blips in time. Being an adult means hard work with very few pats on the back for good work. I'm telling you this because it's going to get harder before it gets easier. But it will get easier! With self-reliance comes self-confidence. The best years of my life were in my 30s and 40s. It was a long string of challenges to overcome to get there, but wow was it worth it! Just remember the value of a person isn't how many friends you have, the car you drive, or the money you have in the bank. The value of a person is the effort they put into making this a better world to live in, the good deeds you do for others and yourself, and the good Karma you create by generating positive vibes. Realistically this can't be done every day and that is what makes them so precious and rewarding. Just keep moving forward and in 20 years let me know if I was wrong.

[designguy]

Are you currently in therapy, if not it would be a good idea for you and possibly medication too. Find a therapist to help you process your anger and disappointment so you can start to heal and get on with your life. Medication can also be beneficial in helping you cope better to heal.