52 year old lonely man depressed and uncertainty

[KurtG]

hi all,

I’m sure you all are going through anxiety and depression otherwise you wouldn’t be here. I hope some one answers me and gives me some advice. I’m single and live alone after my divorce that I have 3 beautiful children from. I am civil with my ex wife, but I don’t really have any close close friends rather acquaintances from work or people I’m not close with. I’m close with my parents and I do feel alone and uncertain with my life and where I want to be. I want to be with a woman that will be my rock but don’t know where to start because I’m not overly charming and I do enjoy talking to people but have been rejected when asking women out at times. I feel I’m missing that love of my life and want to have that. I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life and it causes me anxiety and uncertainty and depression. Any suggestions would be helpful and greatly appreciated. Thank you all and God Bless.,

[PuzzleArt]

Loneliness is one of the hardest things to go through. Very good to be close to your parents. I am speaking from my experience with a divorce. Very difficult to go through the grief, guilt and anxiety, but no way to rush it. Better to get through the process. Getting in too much of a hurry to find the one person you can love, so you won't be lonely anymore, might lead you to the wrong person. I am older than you are. When I was your age, I didn't know it, but I still had a lot of future to find new friends, new jobs, new insights and opportunities to make changes. You aren't alone here at Health unlocked and will probably get a lot more and better answers.

[Agora1 in reply to PuzzleArt]

That's a great answer PuzzleArt. xx

[Elizabeth830]

Hello, I am going through a divorce right now. When I first contemplated divorce I only had work associates too. Through a lot of work on my part, and sharing some of my personal life, a few of these acquaintances have become friends. I have a hard time trusting people so it was difficult to share things with people. My anxiety made me feel so awkward around them and the voice in my head kept telling me they don’t want to hear your sad story. But I soon found out that they did. I also have friends on this website.

I just moved to a new apartment and fear the day that loneliness creeps in. I was very lonely in my marriage and often looked to him for comfort and didn’t get it. Now I have to look to myself. Which is a work in progress.

People say that you shouldn’t jump into any relationships quickly. Since my self esteem was in the toilet and I married very young, I had no experience dating. What has helped me is a dating app. I use Bumble. They have virtual speed dating several nights per week. If I am lonely, I look forward to that. I don’t necessarily meet up with anyone but it helps me work on my social skills making small talk with men. I was never complimented in my marriage. To have men “like” me through the app gives me confidence I won’t be alone forever.

There are a lot of emotions that go along with dating apps so be prepared. People do ghost you, so you have to be ready for that, meaning you might talk to them and they will be gone the next time you look for them in the app. You have to look at it as if well at least I didn’t waste actual time on them. And then there are people who you might match with and they never chat with you. They just like knowing they have lots of people who want to talk to them but have no intention of acting on it.

Some people are only interested in some version of sex so I stay away from them. I am careful what information I give out so someone cannot figure out my identity. I wouldn’t necessarily use it to find your soul mate but it does help with the loneliness.

[Vasiliki99]

Embrace the aloneness that's what my therapist said and I agree , no one's life is perfect live to lend a hand rather than taking life sad I know it's awful being alone n it's brave to reach out here , best wishes