Little by little.

[gerrerd]

We are on the move.

[MindfulMoment]

I needed to hear this today. Some days I feel like I leave the house and really have a big moment in over coming. Other days it isn’t so easy and I can’t leave. I need to start seeing those harder days as a part of the journey too. Today I have to do something really difficult. I should be asleep (4:30 am here) but today is meet the teacher day for my kids. I have a lot of anxiety about it. I don’t want my kids to feel that. Having to go to 4 schools and all the different people, all the activity has got me in a state. I’m what if-ing to death. I’m sure I’m gonna panic and pass out in the middle of the school and they’ll call an ambulance etc etc….. I’m trying to face, accept, and just float. The time part is… hard.

[gerrerd in reply to MindfulMoment]

Yes I know how you feel still catches me now and then, But I learned we can overcome the fear thoughts that come up, I usual think whats the worst that can happen, then think ok if it happens I will still be ok. But next time I will do better.

[MindfulMoment in reply to gerrerd]

That’s a good mantra for me to keep in my head. It’s such a bizarre feeling to be so afraid of things that aren’t really happening as if they are. It’s almost like I traumatize myself imagining worst case scenarios as if I really went through them. A work in progress am I

[MindfulMoment]

I DID IT!!!! I went to all the schools, talked to all the teachers, did all the stuff and I just floated through it. I can’t believe it. I really did it. Sure anxiety was there but I didn’t let it have a front row seat. I am in shock. I feel hope for the first time in so long!!!!!!!!

[gajh in reply to MindfulMoment]

Congratulations!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your good news. Victory! and hope is a wonderful thing.

[gerrerd in reply to MindfulMoment]

Told you we get through them, on to the next one, but now you know it will a little easier.

[MindfulMoment in reply to gerrerd]

Do you think this is strange? I’m not sure who else to ask until I can see my therapist. And you seem to understand so much. After my victorious day I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I finally fell asleep around 1 am. Only to wake all through the night. And I had dreams about things from the past. Things I haven’t thought about in 20 years. Like my mind is opening Pandora’s box. I’m not sure what to do with these things. They’ve lived on a shelf for so long I’m afraid to hold them, I’m not sure what it will do to me if I try to process them.

[gerrerd in reply to MindfulMoment]

Just relax, your subconscious was working out the day, It was adding a victory for you. Normal after being excited not to be able to sleep. Ray.

[MindfulMoment in reply to gerrerd]

Thanks. This is quite a process. Everytime I go to therapy I feel like what did I even do in therapy last time? I must have done it wrong lol

[gerrerd in reply to MindfulMoment]

Get some of Wayne w Dyer progs they helped me change my thinking. Ray. Hay house have them.

[Elliott-inThe-Night]

Love it!