Morning Pain

[PeaceNeed]

Every morning same sky high anciety and debilitating depression. Along with self loathing , guilt, rumination and obsession over past events.Family has had it with me. Friends mostly gone. Im 64 and life sucks. This is how my days start .

[Junkjournal1]

Hi I feel your pain mornings are usually the worst for me just getting out of bed to face the day is a real struggle in itself. I think people are generally lower anyway first thing in the morning. I’m lucky with respect that I don’t have to work but even getting household chores done can be daunting. It’s always late morning by the time I’ve managed to make myself get up and then I’m panicking about not having enough time to get things done that need doing. Really wish I had some magic words to help you and myself for that matter. Anxiety and depression is so debilitating plus us constantly beating ourselves up and like you said ruminating over everything we add fuel to the fire so to speak which leaves me with no self worth and zero confidence. Please know that you are strong enough even if you don’t know it and take one step at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. Time and patience and be kind to yourself but I know it’s so bloody hard. Really hope you have some better days.

[PeaceNeed in reply to Junkjournal1]

Thank you.

[Dugg99 in reply to Junkjournal1]

Just wanted to add onto the one step at a time, break it down as simply as you can, so you’re laying in bed, what do you have to do next ? Shower? No. You have to sit up. Then you have to turn and stand up. Then you have to take a step with one leg, then the other, then back to the first until you get to the bathroom. Then you have to turn on the shower. Then you get in. Then you use soap. Then you rinse. Everything in tiny steps really helps break down the task and help you overcome doing it, and the more you do it the easier it gets (I know it’s easier said than done because I’m in the same boat) but it does help.

[gajh in reply to Dugg99]

Great advice!! Break down the overwhelm!

[PeaceNeed in reply to Dugg99]

Ill try thanks for feed back. Its really been bad day for me today. Im aging not well and seem to be getting worse.

[Junkjournal1 in reply to Dugg99]

Thank you 🙏 sorry you’re in the same boat 😔.

[littlemawther]

yeah its horrendous in the morning~you should get up but want to enjoy that time like u used to before~i've a painful back, but in bed its ok, the pain will edge in as i get going,not too bad,nothing like the agony of mind and emotions

[PeaceNeed in reply to littlemawther]

Emotional pain is soul wretching and makes you a different person.

[Weatherwoman in reply to PeaceNeed]

How Very True. Living with Toxic family now till I can get my own "affordable apt." & the Emotional pain I feel is Wrecking me. I have to keep reminding myself that these "toxic" people who are Overly Critical & Judgemental is Who THEY are & I need to know that & try not to take in THEIR CRAP!

[PeaceNeed in reply to Weatherwoman]

My family no sympathy at all. Just walk it off. They dont want me even to visit anymore.

[Weatherwoman in reply to PeaceNeed]

Sorry, about your situation with your family. Sounds like My family, as well. Maybe, it's best for you to stay away from them. I can't wait to get my own place to get AWAY from my Brother & Sister-in-law & be FREE! May visit them once a year, then, and that's fine with me. I have friends that I share with who respect me, and I respec them. I don't want to cut my family out of my life, just better off not around them much! Not easy, for sure!

[PeaceNeed in reply to littlemawther]

Im finding it harder to keep on going. Doing stuff my foundation not solid. Im 64 and everything unsettled.

[littlemawther]

are you in usa? most on here seem to be~i am uk

[PeaceNeed in reply to littlemawther]

Yes - NYC and this city has become a living h__L for me.

[WastedDays]

So sorry you have such bad mornings. I can only add that mornings have always been bad for me too, so I can relate. Not sure what if any psyche meds you’re taking , but I take a med that has a long half life, like 23 hours (Lexapro). I was taking it in the morning and by the next morning the concentration in my system was at its lowest, near or past its half life. After talking to my doctor, we switched to taking it at night so when I wake it was at a higher concentration in my system. This seemed to take the edge off the mornings a bit better. Just a suggestion. Hope things get better for you soon. Be kind and have patience with yourself.

[PeaceNeed in reply to WastedDays]

Thank you for response. Im isolated and dont have much positive contact with others.

[WastedDays in reply to PeaceNeed]

So sorry, depression is horrible and it makes it worse when you don’t have a support system. Just know that you’re not alone. What has helped me start digging my way out of a very life altering bought of depression is finding that support system of peers that I can relate to. There are great options out there today online, like this platform and free virtual peer support groups through various organizations. keep on engaging and hopefully things will start turning around for you.

[Vasiliki99 in reply to PeaceNeed]

its so difficult when you feel unwell or you feel unseen or just tired or unable to help others or tired of being in the throng of it and the bustles and dirt of the cities

[PeaceNeed in reply to Vasiliki99]

I cant stand the city anymore. The noise crime the lousey mental health system are slowly eating away at me.

[Adlon57]

I can identify with that, mornings are ALWAYS worst time. I have Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy from age of fourteen, most of my seizures are set off by anxiety and stress, about 80% set off in the morning, so for most of my life I have always asked for appointments etc, for the afternoon. This in turn means I am a bad sleeper and my system ALWAYS weakest in the morning. I always have a shower as soon as I get up, practically washes my pains away! I'm now retired age 67, but a double seizure in Jan. 2018, means irreparable brain damage, thus next seizure will be my last🥴

[hopeforjoy in reply to Adlon57]

Adlon, thank you for your kind courtesy in replying with such encouraging words! As for your seizures -- all I can say is I fervently hope you're with us for many years to come!!

[PeaceNeed in reply to Adlon57]

God willing u wont have that seizure. I was forced to stop working early because of this illness. Im always impressed by people who have and still managed to work and retire.

[Adlon57 in reply to PeaceNeed]

Had a seizure on 1st April, very, very, lucky actually in bed, realised pressure is too much, dexterity with keyboard lousy 😵🤐having to pass on my book, researching for 14 half years, been in touch with my alma mater[ University] told of situation, they said will be back soon, person in touch with one of the people who started me on this "thing"🤞

[Coolcat6103]

Further to other replies I used to do the two minutes thing. Say to yourself "it'll take me two minutes to get up n dressed, it'll take two minutes to make the bed. It'll take two minutes to wash up these few things" etc. You'll be amazed how much better you can feel just doing these things.....gives little hit of dopamine when you accomplish the smallest of tasks. I try n head for one or two small jobs a day and remind myself that although I've not felt that good I did tidy the kitchen n empty the dishwasher. Don't beat yourself up about being an afternoon person, I used to get really down about not getting up early dressed and doing the housework by noon and felt inferior because I lay around till noon and did a few chores mid afternoon/evening when I tend to feel better. I allow myself mornings to have coffee in bed, look at emails, read the internet/you tube whilst my tablets kicked in, give yourself permission to have a more diverse routine. If I know that I'm going to have coffee in bed and a few hours on the internet I don't feel so bad about doing it, seems to take the anxiety away and feeling like I'm failing. Then when I'm ready I apply the two minute thing to take away the overwhelming feeling of simply getting up and dressed n basic chores. It's a lot easier to say right it'll take me two minutes to dress n throw over the duvet. I put the kettle on n say it'll take two minutes to wash these things whilst the kettle boils. You'll be surprised how good it makes you feel. I also like to go out in the evening to do y shopping it's not so busy and it passes time, I find I feel better that time of day and when I get home I feel good about having done a task. It allows me to take it easy in the mornings with permission, and with permission from myself I don't feel so lost and anxious that my life is falling apart because I'm lay around all morning. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to relax and get up. I also find reading or audio books helps. Listen to an audio book can take your mind off things especially as your going to sleep. Online card games are another tool I use to take me away from my thoughts and give my head a break, try having coffee in bed when you wake and play a few card games your body will be less tense when you give your head a break and inturn you will feel more relaxed.

[Vasiliki99 in reply to Coolcat6103]

That's really good answer I like my silly things I do

[Agora1 in reply to Vasiliki99]

As you should like the silly things you do.

I get a good laugh out of myself on many occasions.

It feels good to laugh even at yourself as it allows

the Endorphins to flow. xx

[Vasiliki99 in reply to Agora1]

Yep I suppose we r just in a realm as much as a world I don't suppose we should take ourself that seriously , laughing is nice even at the crazy sequences of events that occur all the time pain is paramount part of it

[Vasiliki99 in reply to Coolcat6103]

2 mins 2 mins for that it sort if lifts you it's quite good

[Pitalife]

I too have intense pain in Am,I sufferbw no pain meds,I did get mmj but it's expensive,I'm caring for mybeldey mom in wheelchair,and some days I eat 4 tylenol w 9 back body aspirin,now having bad stomach issues,life's tough any more we are in same age group...doesn't get better it seems..

[PeaceNeed in reply to Pitalife]

No it doesnt. I didnt know how to plan for old age and now Im having a bad time of it.I isolated too much and now Im alone.

My family cant deal with my mental problems and just tell me Im in a pity party. Very demoralizing.

.

[Vasiliki99 in reply to PeaceNeed]

It's just a case of showing yourself dignity don't hate yourself

[Pitalife]

No one knows how we suffer or others,people just trained to judge and gossip..I have no intrest in people anymore..itsvsad but life's changed in this world sad place but I enjoy it as I can,chronic pain. And depression. High anxiety has taken my joys of life away...I can understand your sitchuation..

[Adlon57 in reply to Pitalife]

I have lost all interest with outside world, no faith in them at all, become like a hermit, but the devil box in the corner,📺 does not bring me any comfort, I don't want to "stream" anything it opens a whole new world of absolute💩 [extra payments🙄 via the small print] I want to sleep, watching anything late at night, affects the brain, hyper active, making it harder to go to sleep, thus even worse in the morning, more anxiety. I need to get out, worse weather ever in N. Ireland, not much comfort there? Oh! you're retired all that free travel? OH! YEH?😤

[Vasiliki99 in reply to Adlon57]

Yep try you tube u can just listen anything on it it's life saving can pray on it too , we r all stuck, I like being at home because the outside world is busy selfish sees no one n makes us ill but I can go out with my autoimmune disease I get extra flu symptoms every time I go out I don't know how I hold it all together. It's tough. As the Buddhist say in samsara we all exist in the same murky desperate lonely hellish state broken and brainwashed angry and miserable but that's all u get here longing loneliness complacency enslavement and struggle, anyway Ian McGillchrist goes along with the school of thought collapseology we r about to descend into a slow extinction and a slow collapse of the world as we know it. But what could we do anytime? Powerless fearful misery desperation pain repression brain washing helplessness. If it ends it mite be better but we r all the same situation in a way it was not improve yet we should thank God or we should c ourself as imperfect anyway we think too highly too seriously about our guinea pig state ...

[PeaceNeed in reply to Vasiliki99]

The world has gone to hec. And the U.S. is mow the worlds toilet bowl.

[PeaceNeed in reply to PeaceNeed]

I meant NOW. I hate cell phone key boards.

[Vasiliki99 in reply to Adlon57]

Yep me too , see comment below,

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Adlon57]

I'm almost 49 and me and hubby have attended 2 BBQs and a b'day party since the pandemic began... for a total of MAYBE 3hours outside the house. I completely understand your total disregard for society and the general public. I yearn for QUALITY human connection but CANNOT tolerate stupidity and ignorance. Our society is broken and I feel like I'm surrounded by stupidity and ignorance all day long. Thank goodness for HU and this support group.

[Adlon57 in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Had a couple of BBQ's since the start of the pandemic, but in complete isolation March 2020 to Jan 2021, then the irony hit🙄 I had serious reaction to AZ vaccine, whilst in hospital CT scan proved a double seizure in 2018 gave me irreparable brain damage, which is terminal I feel now I am on a ball and chain now, impending dementia and living by myself, general society is for the younger generation, and their "standards", over 40 and for the stupid and ignorant only. Certainly TV if you can't get cable, or even afford it [or understand it?] forget it, the only thing for the over 40's is cremations, house insurance and Revitive for those sore leg bones! Even the only charity that benefits now is 'children in need' for tomorrows generation? As you say LifeIsThePitts thank goodness for HU who try to keep some sort of sanity for the "older generation".

[PeaceNeed]

My anxiety rooted in my housing situation. My foundation is compromised and frankly the stress is slowly doing me in. My physical health has deteriorated.

[Cheeriosatmidnight]

Just keep going. I'm 56 and remembering the anxiety and pain. Still battle depression. Lost my girlfriend and nearly lost my job. God has special purpose for you. In his time it will happen.

[Vasiliki99]

i know what u mean its very difficult to understand how we can get up in this world that never sees us or acomodates us and yet uses us its v tough i feel your pain so definitely

[Vasiliki99]

My life's tough n yet I evolve my healths poor and difficult doing stuff what an awful life I suppose my parents hate their lives they have just lied during the day

[PeaceNeed]

Like i said isolated cant enjoy anything. Constantly looking for low income place to live. Luxury going up every where. Im getting sicker each day.

This country all about $$$$.

[gajh]

I am glad that you are checking back in for support. You are not alone. I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time.

[PeaceNeed in reply to gajh]

Im scared over growing old and being physically sick and mentally ill. The system hasnt been able to help me and my situation has gotten worse.

[gajh]

I am sorry the system hasn't been able to help you. It is scary growing older and being physically sick and mentally ill. Just the mental illness alone is more than enough to try to deal with then adding on physical illness just makes it that much more difficult. Do you have a therapist?

[PeaceNeed in reply to gajh]

Yes, have therapist really not helping. My basic needs for security are not being met in my mind.Ive been destablized ny my housing agency. They want a lower functioning person they can control.

Im very angry about what they started.

[gajh in reply to PeaceNeed]

I am sorry that your therapist is really not helping. That is awful. You have a right to be angry. I wish there was something I could say to make it better. I am glad you are staying connected here. I wish you the very best.