Feeling stuck, going backwards

[SurvivingEveryday]

Hey all! I used to be active on this site, but since some things happened in my life last autumn (you can scroll back and read if you are curious) I just feel like my life has gotten increasingly worse.

Since October, I have lost:

1. My husband. Our divorce was finalized in February.

2. My home. We sold our home and I had nowhere to go so I moved 1,000 miles away to live with my parents.

3. My job. Because of the move, but now I am disabled mentally and cannot work.

4. Friends. My friends were "our" friends.

5. My will to go on, at times.

6. My community. I had lived in my town for 12 years and had friends, volunteered, knew many people and was respected.

I am living in a place that is very anti-LGBT, very remote and isolated small town. I am with my parents (grateful for that.) But I am so isolated and so alone... I hate it here, I hate what my life has become. Not sure what to do to make it better. I am broke, literally selling things for food and relying on my parents (SNAP benefits are on their way.)

Not sure what to do. I am not at the breaking point of falling into my suicidal ideation... but I am just stuck and fear that I will get to that point.

[Gradients-of-Blue]

I'm sorry to hear things going poorly for you. Take deep breaths, you've been through a lot, and it's understandable to feel the way you do. Take the time you need to recover from grief and toughness of life. I'm sorry your not in a safe place.

[SurvivingEveryday in reply to Gradients-of-Blue]

Thank you for your support.

[Thankfulforhelp22]

Wow. That is a lot to go through. It seems tough because it is. It will take time to overcome the challenges you face, and it can't be done all at once. First have self-compassion - you deserve it. Praying for you.

[SurvivingEveryday in reply to Thankfulforhelp22]

Thank you so much. I appreciate your prayers.