Anxiety about old age

[wheat123]

I am 54 and I am very anxious about my old age. My father was in considerable discomfort when he died. My mom is struggling and going to hospital every week. I have constant worries how I will fare in my old age. Will my death be painful? It constantly bothers me.

[Stippler]

I feel the same way often, so you are not alone. All I know to say is to try to live as best you can, and enjoy life while it is still here. Sending prayers that you are able to find serenity. 🙏🙏🙏

[jeffersonsam99]

Whenever We think about our future, it will gives us fear, some incidents will make us so painful, So my small suggestion is Pray to God for your future life. Please share your feelings with God. I hope it will gives you peace and clam mind.

[PeaceNeed]

Hello, I just turned 64 I have the exact same worries. I have various physical problems that are agravated by stress.

[Agora1]

wheat123, lets try not to speculate what will or may happen down the road.

Each one of us is different as we age. Celebrate Today and live life to the fullest. xx

[Turnipgirl in reply to Agora1]

At present seeing I have just moved a few weeks ago I feel its best for me to take things a day at a time and it's working well so far.

[Agora1 in reply to Turnipgirl]

Turnipgirl, enjoy your new place and your new path one day at a time

You so deserve to be happy. My best to you xx

[Jeff1943]

The brave man dies once. The coward a thousand times. I'm sure you're no coward but you know what I mean. Live only for the day, you are here to achieve something. This will bring pleasure and pain but your success will make it all worthwhile.

Anxiety disorder makes us exaggerate our worries. The natural tendendency is to avoid the illnesses of old age but high anxiety makes us obsessed by the subject bringing us fear and higher levels of the anxiety hormones cortisol and adrenaline than our nervous system can handle.

Time to stop torturing yourself, time to get on with your life's work. The fact that your father's death was not comfortable doesn't mean yours will be too. Anyway, in another twenty years medical science will advance to make the whole process painless no doubt.

I'm 80, never been to a gym or Weightwatchers in my life. So the final darkening will not long be delayed. Already the wear and tear of long life begins to make itself felt.

We are energy and energy cannot be destroyed only converted into something new. We know from those who have had Near Death Experiences that we will feel euphoria as we prepare not to be judged but to judge ourselves.

For you that's decades away, make what you will of life now. I wish you many years of good life during which you will overcome high anxiety and the depletion of our nervous energy known as depression.

[Hisue in reply to Jeff1943]

Your response is quite thoughtful & beautiful but I take exception with the last few lines. We all have a “personal book of life” & will be judged on the content of our actions & character; accordingly, for liars, cheats, abusers & users: it may not be euphoric.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Hisue]

The overwhelming experience of the online archive of NDEs is the feeling of euphoria and unconditional love. Nobody judges us as such but we are asked two questions: "Well, how do you think you did?" and "What is the most important thing of all?"Of course, the uniformity of experience may be coincidence or the untold thousands may be lying but best to have your answers ready just in case🫠.

[Hisue in reply to Jeff1943]

I did not imply the on-line testimonies were lying. You missed my point-I wrote, “for liars, cheats, abusers, & users, it may not be euphoric”. On-line, personal NDEs are not statistically representative of all human experience or personal matters of faith. (& who is asking those 2 NDE questions?)

[Turnipgirl in reply to Jeff1943]

My view on this is make the most of every day you get and take things while they are here as tomorrow isn't guaranteed to any of us and none of us know our exact lifespans.

Here's a lesson that I was taught by my father.

My father was 71 and had thought he had all the time in the world left and had wasted lots of time and money on building himself a granny flat thinking he had plenty of time to get money out of his investment but no he didn't he died before he got to use it and the lesson in this is never think you have loads of time left in life as no you haven't.

[bonkers65]

I just turned 70 and I do the same thing. I try not to think about it but it's hard. I hope I die in my sleep.

[Wakeboarder24]

some people find old age to be the happiest time in their life.

[SayNOtoPanic]

wrapping you in a hug. And your mom as well. 🙏🏻

[MaggieSylvie]

We have little control over when and how we die. HOWEVER, at 54, you are not old. Not only that but we children are more healthy and living to a greater age than our parents. If you are suffering from any of the same conditions as your parents, it is not too late to turn the clock back a bit and do some damage limitation. I'm 78 - possibly the same age as your parents and I have been lucky with my health and I could probably have a better diet and do some exercise! So you're probably thinking so what do you know! But really - you have loads of time to make your health good and your life good and therefore (hopefully) your death good. Once you've done all you can, it's up to nature. My thoughts these days are that while I could drop dead tomorrow, I don't think that's likely, but when I am close to death, I will probably welcome it. Just take care and make your life good while you are young.😊😊

[EarthSitter1]

I understand that I think it’s a fear we all have. However my father and sister died aged 50 and I’ve come to set a very low bar anything past 50 years is a bonus 💛

[momander]

Hi there, I'm so sorry you feel this way. Sometimes when we see our parents unwell it makes us think of our own mortality. None of us know how and when we are going to leave this earth so my thoughts are that I rejoice every day I am given and make the most of life. My situation is different to yours though. I've had 3 heart attacks in the last 3 years and 2 failed stents. I'm now recovering from a double heart bypass. My outlook on life had completely changed now. I'm just so glad to be alive. Try to enjoy what you have if you can, and just live your life.

[Turnipgirl in reply to momander]

A few years ago I was seriously ill with blood clots that travelled to the lungs and a lesson I learned from the experience is that very little in life is either urgent or important.

[RemySue]

I just turned 60 and have had to reign in these thoughts. Will I die alone? Who will take care of me? Etc. Etc. I try to just live in the moment (easier said than done) and be happier with now. Just want you to know I hear you!

[Turnipgirl]

My father died when he was 74.

[momander]

Thank you so much for your reply. Pleade dont feel the need to advise/ concern yourself with my dietary habits. I follow a healthy eating regime .😀

[Toddzen]

After seeing my Dad suffer terribly the last three years of his life how could I not be concerned. All that stay in the moment crap doesn't help. The body can go through horrible suffering. I don't plan to stick around for it.

[momander]

Please don't take this the wrong way. I am old enough and daft enough to know what to eat and what not to eat!! I really would be most obliged if you did not feel the need to tell a complete stranger what not to eat! I found it quite undermining and dictatorial. We are all here to support and help eachother, and not to lecture. I am sure you meant well? I certainly hope you did. I'm lucky that I don't suffer with low self esteem/ self worth, depression or anxiety. This kind of comment is enough to really set someone back. Please can I just ask you to think before you post something like this. It really could have quite a bad effect on someone who has a lot going in in their lives!? It sounds like I'm being a bit dramatic, but I've seen it happen to people so many times with one throw away comment. Thank you so much.

[Turnipgirl in reply to momander]

Point is we are all different and as long as you know you are doing what's right for you personally that's all that matters.

What's right for one isn't what's right for all.

Many years ago I got told off like a six year old by some colleagues for eating at the staff canteen which was upsetting at the time!

OK perhaps I could have benefited from losing weight but it wasn't for them to tell me!

[momander in reply to Turnipgirl]

Hi there, yes I agree with you. We are all different. Some of us still eat all the wrong things, smoke, and drink alcohol!! When I had my first heart attack I stopped smoking instantly!!! I loved my cigarettes!!! I havnt smoked for over 2 years!! I then stopped drinking. I overhauled my diet too!! If I want a treat I will have it and enjoy it, but it's a rare event. People shouldn't impose their will on others, no matter how well meaning they may think they are being. I'm doing the best I can and that's good enough for me. I hope you ate feeling really well now. Take care and thank you. Xx

[catsrock]

I totally get this as I am almost 60. I My dad died at 46, but my mom is still alive at 91, so who knows what my future holds. What helps me is staying as active as possible and trying to eat well (this is my main struggle). It's hard not to have the worries you're talking about though. I'm constantly trying to focus on staying in the present, but it's not easy for me.

[Trainchaser]

Can relate to every word you typed. Not afraid of death but afraid of the process. Try not to think about it and when I do try to pivot away from it. I just hope one day I go to sleep and not wake up

[momander]

TwinkleToes1IHi,

I am absolutely sure you are a lovely person. I've been through such a lot in the last 3 years and I am still I the very early days of recovering from a double cabg. I still have another 2 procedures ahead of me. I too think.of myself as a nice person. I guess your inference in your post just hit a nerve!? I'm trying as hard ad I can to do everything I can to be as healthy as I can. Sometimes its easy and sometimes it's not!! You definitely were being humorous in your last post, so thank.you for that. I actually had a wedge of cream cake this evening and thoroughly enjoyed it. Life is for living and cake is for eating!!! Every now and again only!!🧀

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi W123.

Death is a part of life, if U believe in reincarnation then ur coming back, if U believe in a god ( so many names to write so I'll consolidate to a god to cover everyone ) & that he or she has a massive plan for you then you could be sent to heaven or fight school ( which I think is likely ) FIGHT SCHOOL U thinks, well if U do believe in a God then you know that everyone needs to fight in that final battle of good vs evil & if ur in heaven U gonna need to be battle ready.

Now if U don't believe in any God then it ends when it ends. The only guarantee & I don't mean to be morbid but the only guarantee is U will breathe ur last & that happens to all of us & I'm ready to go fight school & learn how to wield the most destructive weapons ever as if there is one thing we know is that God is vengeful & will wipe people off the face of the earth with a blink of an eye.

Now I say enjoy the life U have left & be the best U that U wish U to be & when it's ur time ask where the blacksmith is that's making the weapons.

Death like life is NEVER final & if U lead a good one those that are left here will always spare a thought for U & smile as they remember U for being U.

I'm 2 years younger than ur good self but have been at deaths door twice since 2008 & my beautiful NHS saved my life both times & now I'm living my best life. As I'm not tied down by a relationship meaning I can do what i want , when I want as I want & my daughters are grown women now & living their lifestyle & as their dad I raised them with the knowledge they need to manage in the world & when I do leave earth, I'm going for a fitting for a suit of armour with shiny wings.

[Gingerbreadman1978]

yes old age ain’t good especially if you have seen your parents have problems as they get older but my advice is cross that bridge when you get to it no amount of worry or stress will change anything just make you poorly with worry