Hello my friends,, about a week ago. I found out my daughter was spending mother's Day with my best friend out of town. I was devastated I was crushed I was even thinking I might die. Literal suicidal thoughts. Well today is mother's Day and I'm here to tell you I've decided to spend breakfast time with my mother who I seem to value today more than ever. And then I will come home and even though I will be alone I will watch a good movie and I will eat ice cream because ice cream is my favorite dessert and I haven't had much in a while. I was devastated that my best friend and my daughter would overlook me on this day. I spoke my mind to them and expressed I was hurt. My best friend is not happy and feels like I attacked her. I spoke with gentle and loving feelings and I literally said that I was hurt and devastated and felt overlooked. Needless to say she is angry. She says this is not her problem and that I should be addressing it with my 20 year old daughter. But I know that she had something to do with the reservation because she paid for it. That I know. I chose not to respond to bff, as this was in text. I really don't feel like I owe any further explanation or even owe an apology...
Regardless, I spoke my truth I did speak it with kindness and standing up for myself is something I have trouble doing. But I did it.. I expressed myself and my friend can be mad if she wants to be, I feel a little irritated with her saying I attacked her but that was not my intention and I don't really feel bad for what I said about being overlooked hurt and very sad.
I think the important lesson for me here is that they hurt me, I spoke my mind thoughtfully and that's what's really important here. Standing up for myself when I have had trouble doing so all my life, felt good it felt really damn good. And I'm going to have the best day mother's Day I can.
I would say that I do need support today from this community as you guys understand the symptoms and effects of depression and anxiety and ptsd. I do not feel suicidal today which is a very positive step for me. Any encouragement advice sharing your story with me is always greatly appreciated. I will be here later today because after I spend my time with my mom I will come home here to be with you guys. Thanks again so much for your guys input sharing and giving me the ability to respond to you. Today I am grateful for my mom and this platform. And a good movie!. Take care of yourselves be well happy Mother's Day to those of you in the United States. And to those mothers who are not able to be with their children whether death or life separates them today I am here for you too. And I wish you the best possible day you can have!❤️❤️❤️ 🌈🌈🌻✌️