hey guys. So recently I’ve been diagnosed with treatment resistant depression. Does anyone else struggle with this? Any words of encouragement?
Also if you have this have you had any success with alternative medicines such as magnet therapy, ketamine treatments or electro therapy?
Any advice or help to ease my struggle with hopelessness is really appreciated.
I’ve just started my second round of TMS. I had my first set of treatments in November of 2020. They worked at that time. Hopefully they will again.
My therapist, psychiatrist, group support, meds, prayer and meditation usually keep me on an even playing field. And brings me to an adequate baseline. But experiencing joy escapes me. That the hope my psychiatrist has as a result of the magnets.
I’m sorry for your struggles.
thank you for your response. I hope your treatments work well for you 🤗
How's the new TMS series coming along?
Well I only started it on Tuesday, so I’ve only had 4 sessions. The commitment is hard to handle if I look at the whole process. But if I take it a day at a time, it makes it manageable. Thanks for asking.
Totally agree. Thinking I have to go 5x a week for 6 wks makes me wanna stay in bed 🛏️💤
I've been doing TMS treatments for 14 months and counting. I have to pay out of pocket though. $9000+ and counting. I Did 2 Ketamine infusions prior to starting TMS. I microdose psilocybin mushrooms when I'm in a slump. Vape medical marajuana daily for mental health, anxiety and nerve pain. I've had 4 spine fusions and have permanent nerve damage in my left arm, hand, hip, leg, knee, shin. I take zero psyche meds, Rx, or OTC pills.
This is the only thing that has ever helped my depression and anxiety. I was ready to end it prior to taking one last ditch attempt at living. It was all I had left. That's about all I can say, in all honesty. Ask me ANYTHING! I'm here to help 🙏😊
I participate in a TRD study on HU. But it's a private invitation only forum. I started participating in March '22 but I don't know if they're taking new members anymore.
did you feel like the ketamine treatments before TMS helped?
Does the TMS treatment hurt? Do you feel any side effects from it?
I had wonderful results from the Ketamine infusions. The experience was AMAZING. My issue was the lethargy after the second one. I have sensitivity to anesthesia and Ketamine is an anesthetic. But I highly recommend Ketamine as a depression treatment for increasing neuroplasticity prior to starting TMS, or as a primary treatment as well.
TMS is a 100% noninvasive treatment. The paddle is moved to 3 areas of the head with 3 different magnetic pulses, like an MRI, from 30 seconds to 3 minutes per area. Feels like a woodpecker knocking on your skull. It rattles the teeth a touch, but I don't have any problems what so ever during or after the treatments. It's incredible to actually FEEL your brain turn back on. The grey sluggish fog disappears. The heaviness dissapates and my brain FEELS LIGHTER & BRIGHTER. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. I go to my sessions on the way to work. Drive right after the 10-15 minute appointment like nothing happened.... except that my brain is functional and my anxiety is 🔕 silent.
thank you for being so responsive. I’m so glad your treatments help you. I was really worried about alternative treatments I might have to get but you’ve made me a little less scared so thank you.
Hey. I am not sure if you are still on here, but in the event you were I had to reach out. I didn’t do this in a chat because I want anyone who reads this thread to know the truth as well.
An update, last year, I did decide to do TMS. And every way you described it above was pretty much how I felt during it as well. It is weirdly uncomfortable at first because the feeling is so new, but you get used to it like anything else. Just like you said it’s so quick you forget you’re even doing it. And then afterwards your mind feels clearer and more focused.
I wanted to say thank you because in that time I really needed to get that treatment and you were one of the voices who helped me decide to do it.
I just want to encourage anyone who is reading this, not necessarily about TMS, but that this community is so greatly helpful and appreciated because we all actually understand what anxiety, depression, etc feels like. Even when the rest of the world doesn’t understand or can’t sympathize/empathize or thinks something is wrong with us, the people in this community have never let me down every time I have reached out. Please know that you are welcome here and this is the one place that you can be sure that you don’t take up too much space and there are people who care.💜
Hi and happy holidaze⛄❄️🎄🎁I'm still here! 🤗 what a beautiful tribute to your powerful journey!! I'm thrilled that you've had success with TMS. I'm all about holistic and spiritual and noninvasive remedies for what ails us in our mental health.
I'm on a maintenance TMS protocol now where I'm going for a session every weeks or so. It's what I currently need to keep me from sliding. I'm definitely a high needs patient but I hope to see improvement as perimenopause dwindles. I only had 6 periods this year and am praying this transition is nearly over in the next year or so.
Like yourself, I've experienced the pills and poor therapists, combined with misunderstanding my own relationship with depression and anxiety, for decades. I'm finally making space for me to emerge from my own shadows, so to speak.
Slowly, I'm making progress on my recovery and hoping that what I share with this community is helpful and allows this forum to see that there are alternative treatments options if all else has previously not worked.
I'm in the beginning of float/sensory deprivation pod therapy for reducing my rampant anxiety. Tues was my second hour long session.
It's very in tune with deep meditation and promotes the brain going into Delta wave sequence that relaxes the entire body and mind.
So far I'm very excited about it and I'm scheduled for my third float this coming Monday.
What other therapies have you been using or researching these days?
Heyyyyy! Thank you for responding! I’m glad to hear you are doing well!
I don’t know that I could do the pod thing. It looks amazing but it’s making me anxious thinking about being locked in like that haha. Like I can’t breathe already 😅
I haven’t tried much of anything since. I’m on a set of pills that are a good enough combination to keep me fairly stable. However, I would like to start getting off of some of them. lol.
I have recently discovered somatic therapy and I think that might really help me but I need to look more into it because I don’t have the money for therapy at the moment unfortunately. Have you done anything with Somatic therapy before? I think it might be helpful because I think I have unprocessed trauma that I need to work through and I think it’s good for that.
I have heard about TMS for maintaining and I have thought about doing it again because I remember feeling good when I did the daily treatments so maybe it is time for me to go back for one, but again, money. 😭
Please let me know how your session goes Monday!
I will update you after my float. 😁
Unfortunately, I think the biggest obstacle to quality medical treatment is money and insurance. Look at the United healthcare CEO killing last week...I think this is a trend that is going to escalate in the coming years as financial stability continues to erode social status and affordability of living. We know that there are a lot of treatment alternatives out there but cost denies coverage for the majority of the general public.
I pay for TMS and all my mental health care fully out of pocket. Floating in $90 an HR. I'm lucky to have discretionary income but for most it's not in the budget by a long shot.
TMS series is $5500. Ketamine infusions are $200 a session. It's tragic that we can have options but no access to them.
Hello, i've tried ketamine and just recently finished my first treatment series of TMS. I personally didn't find the ketamine helpful, I did a series of 4 infusions and all it did was amp up my anxiety. It is also very physically draining and you can't drive afterward so someone has to drive you. In hindsight, my dosage could have been to high and I also know that when i smoked pot years ago all it did was increase my anxiety and didn't relax me but we all react differently to meds. There is also a ketamine spray which I did not try. I found the TMS to be very helpful and did not have any side affects from it and I actually enjoyed going to have it done. I chewed a big wad of gum that I used to insulate my teeth while the treatment was happening because it kind of made them sensitive but it was very minor. I was also fortunate that my insurance paid for my TMS except for a small copay. It did not cover the ketamine treatment though.
Through this journey I have found that for me what was the most critical was making sure my hormones (testosterone), thyroid and adrenals are all functioning properly because they have a major impact on our mood/anxiety and depression.
One other thing you may consider if you haven't done already is to do a psychopharmacological test which uses your dna to determine which meds may be best suited for you genetically. My test was from Genesight and I found it very helpful in finding a med that worked for me after trying a half-dozen that didn't. My test was also paid for by my insurance.
Hey there 🤗 looong time, no 🙈 see. Hopefully you're having a decent holiday season. I responded to a user right above 👆your response here about float therapy. Have you tried this? Are you still a TMS patient? I'm doing monthly maintenance now. Unfortunately, 🤔 or fortunately, I'm a high needs patient😆
Hey Miss Pitts, nice to hear from you. I' ve been kind of keeping up with your adventures, I check in here occasionally when I can, it's nice to have the connection and offer any help I can when it's relevant. I admire your willingness to explore new approaches and keeping an open mind, good for you and glad it seems to be helping.
I haven't done float therapy although I have thought about it. There is a facility here in my town so we'll see, it seems interesting.
I haven't done any more TMS treatments other than one full round. I did get approved to do another round but have been doing well after the first one so i decided to not do the second round and save it if I need it in the future. Overall I've been doing well and enjoying life and practicing self-love and compassion and mindfulness and being more aware of my stinking thinking.
I did have a mild setback recently. Along with my testosterone shot I also take a hormone pill for testosterone. The pill is not covered by my insurance and is pretty pricey so I tapered off of it and soon could feel the familiar anxiety/depression/rumination/fatigue starting up again so I started back on it and am doing better. I think it and the TMS have really helped me stabilize as well as practicing more self-acceptance for which i'm grateful.
So i'm staying tuned to your continuing adventures - lol.
Hey. Hang in there with the setback. Especially around the holidays I think things are harder in general. I have faith things are going to get better. 
Do you mind sharing how you were able to practice mindfulness? I feel like this is the hardest thing for me to learn. I am VERY self aware, almost TOO self aware, so I have a very hard time with mindfulness.
Also, black and white thinking is something that really gets me. It’s is so difficult for me to accept that two things can be true or find a middle ground. It’s always one or the other like very logical thought process if that makes sense.
Any advice?
Hello BlueAurora, thanks for the encouragement. What helped me a lot, since anxiety was my primary issue, was learning to never believe my anxious thoughts no matter how scary or weird they were and know that they were lies whose misguided purpose was to protect me but I no longer needed that kind of protection. When I was anxious I would remind myself of this as many times as it took. Originally I started trying to practice meditation but realized that mindfulness was better for me so I focused on it. Initially I would sit in a quiet place and just focus on my breathing and let my thoughts flow in and out and try not to judge them and just let them go, recognizing that they are just thoughts, like clouds. I have some OCD tendencies and realized that believing them or fighting or arguing with them would just backfire and the solution was just letting them happen. It took time and commitment but I now practice mindfulness throughout the day by just stoping, focusing on my breath and my heart area and feeling love and gratitude in my diaphragm and being present in my life. I also learned a technique for calming your mind when practicing mindfulness which is to focus on your breath and ask yourself "what is the next thought that will come up" and there will be a temporary lull in your thoughts. The thing to remember about mindfulness is that it is not about the absence of thoughts, good or bad but learning and being willing to observe the thoughts without judging or attaching to them and letting them float in and out of our mind. You are not your thoughts. Hope this helps.
Hey thank you for replying!
I have been trying to learn how to be mindful and my therapist has been trying to work on this with me (letting my thoughts pass without judging them) and I just am not getting it. I am dealing with this EXACT thing right now that my anxiety is flared up and I’m scared of so much and it is killing me. I just do not understand the concept of sitting there with a thought and doing nothing with it or not giving it any meaning. I know that can sound so silly, but I think you might be able to understand a little since it sounds like you had some trouble similarly before. It’s like I fight the thoughts to come to some sort of solution or try to think my way into problem solving, but of course that never works out and I just end up back where I am at. It is just so frustrating. I just wish I had a better handle on this stuff especially when I get completely overwhelmed.
You're welcome, I think it takes practice until something clicks and you get it. The thing to understand is that mindfulness is not about the absence of distressing thoughts because you will always have them, it's about not attaching to them and just letting them happen and not judge them. I use to laugh at them and even make them more ridiculous or scary when I had them and still do on occasion. We have thousands of thoughts a day and most of them we're not even aware of. Another thing is that if you're having them same distressing thought repeatedly it's usually a sign of something you need to investigate and heal. One of the tricks I learned is to calm your mind and ask yourself "what is the next thought I am going to have", you will notice a pause between your question and the next thought. I use this sometimes just to slow down and focus on the moment and be present. Another thing I found that helps if i'm having a lot of distressing thoughts is to write them down which helps in processing them. The other thing is to be kind and compassionate with yourself, as a recovering perfectionist, it took me a long time to realize that I was getting angry at myself which was not helpful or constructive.
I want to add that your mind/thoughts have a negative bias so the majority of our thoughts are negative because that is the way our mind works to supposedly protect ourselves. By working to heal our inner child we are able to convince our subconscious that we are safe and no longer need a lot of the protection that our negative thoughts provide. It takes time to heal but over time the negative thoughts will diminish.
Thank you!
Yeah the perfectionist in me is making it more difficult to not attach meaning as well. I feel like I obsess over a lot of the same thoughts that even though I know in my logical mind are not true, in my emotional mind I believe they are. And they are often negative looping in the other part you mentioned.
Anything you did that helped or is helping you with a perfectionist mindset other than being kind to yourself and giving yourself grace?
I started doing things like purposely having spelling errors on my emails, being late to an appointment and starting a project and not finishing it or doing it so it was ok and letting it go, anything I could think of that involved my perfectionism. A major part of my issues was social anxiety so I started doing exposure therapy by going to a store and purposely asking stupid questions, I also wore old ragged clothes, one time I did pushups in the aisle of Home Depot, another time I walked around with my zipper down in a big box store, anything I could think of that would normally embarrass me. The other thing I did was work on improving my self-worth and validating myself since perfectionism is usually an indicator of low-self-worth. There is a lot of good info on youtube about it, I found the youtubes of Dr. Bernadette Sewell and Bernadette Logue very helpful.
I am recently trying Lamictal, lamotrigine. It's been helpful for treatment resistant depression.. it's a seizure Med.Also OTC supplement NAD. Red light, near infrared light box. I ordered both online.
Don't worry blue Aurora.At one time my therapist said I would die,but here I have almost defeated Great depression.my medicines are reducing and I hope to recover fully .Even if it's drug resistant,ALWAYS BELIEVE YOU CAN GET OUT OF THIS AND PERSIST TILL U WIN.
we are there for you always.keep posting your feelings and DO TAKE CARE
❤️ LOVE N SUPPORT TO YOU
I am so sorry they said that to you. You didn’t deserve that.
I appreciate your encouragement. Really. I am so happy to hear it’s working for you because sometimes I feel like I will never get better. Especially enough to reduce my meds at all. So it gives me hope. <3
Anything in particular that you found helped you? ☺️
Persistence and unconditional faith in ALMIGHTY .You will have ups and downs in recovery phase ,but never ever give up.
Trust me YOU WILL WIN EVENTUALLY.
🥰🥰🥰🥰
Depression
treatment resistant
27, CPTSD, Major Depression 
Treatment resistant?
Is anyone finding relief for their anxiety and depression/. If so, how?
