ECT Treatment for bipolar depression

[montesace]

I have just recently been undergoing ECT therapy for severe depression. I'm wondering how soon I may feel results. I'm getting discouraged.

[Justswimming]

I don't know but I love that necklace..I think you need a series of treatments and they adjust the amount they charge you with

[Karenk2]

I'm not sure either, but I've tried almost everything. Have you tried Transcranial Magnetic stimulation?

[montesace in reply to Karenk2]

Besides meds, ECT is the first treatment I have braved. I'm 5 treatments in, and I haven't noticed a difference yet. I've been told 8 to twelve treatments. I'm very discouraged and apprehensive. I've been thought all the meds and behavioral therapy. The whole reason I've come this far is because I love my children. I'm so scared that this is heredity. I want them to always understand their not alone, no matter how dark their thoughts are. I want them to know that they are loved unconditionally,no matter how lost and disturbed they feel they are. My whole goal for living is to make it easier for someone else to except themselves. All of this pain and torment cant be in vain.t

[Karenk2]

That's great you are there for your kids. I think depression runs in my family. Both my mom and brother were alcoholics and have passed on. My brother was 53 or so and had cirrhosis of the liver. I'm glad at least I'm not an alcoholic, I figured I had enough problems!

I'm suprised your mental health professional didn't suggest TMS before going for the treatment path you are on. Doesn't ECT cause memory issues?

[montesace in reply to Karenk2]

I have been experiencing some short term memory loss, but nothingt too drastic. A part of me wishes it was more, to take away the pain. I just keep asking myself why i deserve this life. I'm a sincere person with a good heart, who doesn't want to hurt anyone .

[Karenk2 in reply to montesace]

I just started reading this book by Alice Hoffman called "Survival Lessons" by Alice Hoffman. It's an excellent book so far and she mentions Viktor Frankl's book, "Man's Search For Meaning". He lost nearly all his family and friends in a concentration camp in WW2 and he tells of how he got through it and lived on.

You are here for a reason as am I. You for your children, me for my animals. This is what has gotten me through some pretty rough patches. Who would take care of them as well as you do?

[montesace in reply to Karenk2]

I'm still here for the love of others. I don't think I could inflict the pain and quilt of suicide in them. I just want to not dread waking up every morning, that is even if I've slept at all. I play my life over and over again. No matter how big my heart is, no matter how much love I have to give, there's always something stopping me from succeeding. I know a big part of my failure is that I don't have courage and belief in myself. I've never learned self esteem, or belief in myself.

[primrose81]

I know exactly what you mean montesace and I have sadly come to the conclusion that at 70 I am unlikely to like myself or have any confidence or self-esteem. What I can do however is take baby steps and very gradually come out of my comfort zone. Very often it is 3 steps forward and then 4 back, you know what I mean…I do so hope there is someone you can talk to about your feelings or do you have a dog or a pet? Animals truly see us and love us for ourselves, no judgement of us or disappointment in us for failing to make the mark…I also have had ECT, a long time ago now following the birth of our daughter who is coming up 37. I think it was very different in my day though as I only ever had 2 lots of sessions on different occasions. To do it more gradually makes more sense to me as I went very high(I am bipolar) one time afterwards and I wasn’t under medical supervision at that point and I made life very difficult for my husband who can deal with me when I am low but not when I am high. So hang on in there with the treatment, I am sure it will work for you given time x