My spirit animal...

[RupertBrown]

So there's this squirrel that lives in the tree in front of my house. He's only got half a tail. Lately when I see him I want to start crying. Not sure why exactly, (I mean, I do know why, just not sure why the squirrel is the trigger), but when I see him just going about his squirrel-ly life without a care for his tail, I start to lose it and have to go do something else. Hope you all are well, and if not, take care of yourselves.

[Hidden]

Just reading this stirs something in me. Poor squirrel. I can't see a suffering creature and not cry.

[RupertBrown in reply to Hidden]

I am sorry. The squirrel doesn't seem to mind at all, and that's kind of what gets me. Like, he's got this imperfection and is completely unfazed by it. May not even be "aware" of it. For some reason that guts me. Why can't I be that carefree? I think I'm just under a lot of stress and the cracks are starting to show.

[FindingTheAnswers]

I understand

[Starrlight]

To me if I saw the squirrel I would see myself in the squirrel like similar in my weakness of mental illness except that it’s not seen on the outside like with the squirrel. And to him he doesn’t think deeply over it he just is how he is. That’s the difference. I wish I was the squirrel.

[RupertBrown in reply to Starrlight]

You nailed it. I think that's exactly why I can't deal with it. It's admitting something is wrong with me.

[Starrlight in reply to RupertBrown]

It’s so good to be understood.

[RupertBrown]

I don't feel bad for him, because he doesn't feel bad for himself. He just carries on, and I don't know if jealous is quite the right word for it, but I feel some kind of way about that. Like, I wish I had that same energy. I don't know. I'm just spent, I guess.

[ElephantsHear]

I’ve looked at others and thought why do I feel this sad when on paper my life isn’t that bad compared to... maybe you are emotional and it’s being triggered by something else that you need help with, ie depression. You said you do know why you’re sad, but not why the squirrel is the trigger. What did you mean by that? I wish you well.

[RupertBrown in reply to ElephantsHear]

I've been down due to situational factors over the last few months. I haven't been doing any kind of self care and my mind is going dark. It just caught me off guard that a squirrel was hitting like that. (Squirrels are my favorite animals and usually watching them relaxes me.) Pretty sure you're right about the depression, I try to manage it, but it gets away from me sometimes.

[ElephantsHear in reply to RupertBrown]

That’s cool you like squirrels! Today On 1-10 my motivation is a 5 so I’m going to make a to do list. I have to look for a job/ put trash out. Wish me luck. A to do list might be helpful for you and don’t get discouraged if you only do a couple things on it. I wish you well.

[RupertBrown in reply to ElephantsHear]

Good luck on the job hunt! I'm lucky in that it's been a long time since I had to look for a job. I can't even imagine. By the way, I'm sitting on my front step and just saw my squirrel friend and it didn't make me sad, so... progress!

[Dolphin14]

That squirrel had to heal itself and move on. Survival in the animal kingdom. No choice at all, survival of the fittest.

Nature isn't swayed by judgements.

Maybe that squirrel is bringing you a sign.

That's what I see

🐬

[RupertBrown in reply to Dolphin14]

Thanks for the insightful reply. Had not looked at it this way. Next time I see him, I will try to think about it this way. What is weighing on me at the moment cannot just be moved on from. But maybe I can do a better job coping and managing it.

[Dolphin14 in reply to RupertBrown]

The mind takes a long time to heal. It takes time and so many outside factors come into play.

The lesson is don't give up. Take your time

Sending you positive healing vibes

[RupertBrown in reply to Dolphin14]

Thanks again. 🤗 My spouse is looking at some potentially serious medical news. On top of an acute injury which caused a mental breakdown. Medical bills are piling up and we don't even have a final prognosis yet. We find out tomorrow after a month of waiting and an MRI, followed by more waiting.

[Dolphin14 in reply to RupertBrown]

I'm so sorry to hear about this. Talk about stressful and loss of control.

Wishing you both the best ❤️

[Hidden]

Awww bless it’s really hard caring about animals sometimes. I would be emotional too! This wee soul can’t just go to a veterinarian for help. Animals are so resilient and quick to adapt to situations they find themselves in. If the wee squirrel seems okay physically and not unwell then try to take inspiration from it. It gets up every day and just gets on with living life. Big hugs and love to you for caring 🐿️❤️😘xx

[RupertBrown in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the kind words. I believe I may just be nearing the end of my rope. The last two months have been a lot and I'm just worn down. Got very little left to give and it's starting to show, I guess.

[Hidden in reply to RupertBrown]

I know that feeling all too well! Please be kind to yourself my dear. Look after yourself first. I know that’s not easy but you need to make a concerted effort to try to do that. Try to take some time every day for yourself. Even if it’s something as simple as a walk or a nice long bath or shower, reading a book or watching some tv. You’re so very important and it’s not until you reach the end of your tether that you realise you’re physically and mentally burnt out. Please try this as it really does help. It’s not by any means a magic wand and takes time to feel better. We are all here for you if you need a bit of support but you need to try to make time for yourself every day. I hope you can try to do this for your own being. Wishing you luck, sending you big hugs and love 🙏🏻🍀❤️😘xx

[RupertBrown in reply to Hidden]

Folks like you remind me why I love this community. You told me nothing I don't already know on some level, but we need to hear it now and then. Ironically, watching squirrels is my self care lol. Seriously though, thanks for your kindness , I needed it. 🙂

[Hidden in reply to RupertBrown]

Awww that’s lovely to hear. Wee animals are so courageous and watching this brave wee squirrel will eventually remind you of yourself! No matter what life throws at you, you’ll find a way of conquering it and thriving! As I said we’re here if you need us. Remember be like that wee squirrel and show yourself just how strong and well you can get. Enjoy your squirrel watch. Big hugs and love 😍🙏🏻🍀🐿️❤️😘xx

[Hidden]

Idk Rupert, I would probably be right there crying with you so I’m not much help with the crying part. I would, however. see it as a sign to stop feeling sorry for myself and a reminder that all we need to do is listen to the spirit within us to thrive.

[RupertBrown in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, feeling a little better today. I think I've just been overdoing it lately. Thanks for the kind words, the spirit within is a little stronger today!

[Hidden in reply to RupertBrown]

I'm so glad you're feeling stronger today! That's awesome!

[RupertBrown in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, I finished a drawing I've been working on last night. That was a big help I think.

[Hidden in reply to RupertBrown]

Cool! I think doing something that takes our full concentration helps so much!

[RupertBrown in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes art projects stress me out, but it's always nice when one gets finished. This one sat half finished for weeks, so it was extra nice to get it done lol!

[Sillysausage234]

maybe the squirrel got grabbed by a hawk one day but alls the hawk got was a beak full of squirrel tail fur ….the squirrel is probably laughing to himself every day and showing his ass to the hawk

[Isinatra in reply to Sillysausage234]

😂

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

😂

[RupertBrown in reply to Sillysausage234]

Certainly possible, though where I live it was likely feral cats lol. I can just picture an alley cat sulking somewhere, telling his friends about the one that got away!

[EndUser13]

I think this speaks to a level of empathy and kindness about you that is admirable. I'm sure most people who use this forum can appreciate what it's like to seeing someone else suffer (or have suffered) when we can relate.

[RupertBrown in reply to EndUser13]

Empathy yes, but also admiration. Simple creatures have no trouble carrying on, whatever their "defects". Why is it sometimes hard for us advanced creatures to do the same?

[Midori in reply to RupertBrown]

Because we humans are prone to overthinking; but the squirrel just thinks 'I'm Hungry' and goes off and does something to hunt down his next meal, rather than thinking about not having a great tail!

I'm sorry your spouse is worried about what the Doctor's news will be, but we can't eat the food until it's prepared. Live in hope.

Cheers, Midori

[RupertBrown in reply to Midori]

I have often thought that if I could be any animal it would be a squirrel. Think about it: have you ever seen one just sitting around doing nothing? They are so industrious, no time for ruminating or catastrophizing, there's too much to do!

For better or worse, we'll have her test results in a few hours. Thanks for the warm wishes and the wise words, Midori.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

My sore spot is lost animals (and humans). I realize, however, that it’s because there’s this sad, lost little girl inside of me so gets triggered every time I run across a creature in that state.

I’m with Star. It may be your own brokenness you’re identifying with. I identify.

Glad your doing better.

[RupertBrown in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Yeah, I'm in abetter place now. I think a lot of us relate to broken or "flawed" creatures unfortunately. Thanks for the kind words and I hope you're well.