How to give myself a new start?

Im a mother of a 7 yr old kid. Back 2020 I lost job because of pandemic My husband started to change he became violent,alcoholic and he became womanizer. He always give me 500 every payday for our 15th day allowance before his next payroll.

Its hard for me to sustain that money and I have a daughter that go to school. My daughter were affected psychologically to the point she cries in her sleep,always aloof and look distant.

I decided to leave him for good with my daughter with me. I easily found job but I dont know why I didnt last long. I always ended not able to pass the nesting or training period even my performance was good, I think. It makes me feel helpless, worthless to the point I cant sleep,overthinker and experience abnormal digestive syndrome or simply bolimic.

I cant even have a regular period. I often missed my period for 4 months and only had a 5 days menstruation with light menstruation that cause me acne breakouts. My hair where so dull as well my skin.

Im really frustrated and exhausted physically,mentally and socially.

I want to fix my mind, my physical appearance my emotional status.

I dont want to commit suicide for the 3rd time.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Welcome. This is a safe place for you to get support. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I was a single parent myself.

Do you have the ability to get to therapy? I know I can’t handle my mental illness without it.

Wishing you the best. Glad you’re here.

[jackiesj]

There are many here even different disabilities that deal with spousal abuse. whether or not they hit abuse is abuse and alcohol they are abusing themselves and others. I know alot of the fears you have, i also know that you dont want your child to go thru this. Alanon is helpful if you are in US. If in another country..need to call your services. who would not be depressed in your situation? So in that aspect you are normal...so do look at REAL. i wish mental illness was called something else like...brain farts. for some reason it is a label for us who have it and it should not be. best wishes.