I give up.

[StardustHunter7]

I don't know. Im suxh an issue. I always cause a fight between me and my fiance. I dont think I will ever be good enough. I prove to myself everyday that I am no better than my parents and I see them whenever I look in a mirror. I shouldve just offed myself when my brother told me to. I wouldnt be here to cause any pain or fights or stress to anyone. Sometimes I feel like I shouldnt give my fiance a choice, that I should just leave for him to find someone better and to have a better life. I have been crying non stop for two weeks. I cant do anything right. I just need a friend. I just need a friend. But no one is there. I dont know what this post is for. I guess I just needed to get this out. Maybe I am desperate for some sliver of humanity. Maybe I am a lost cause. I give up. I am so tired. I give up.

[NorwegianWood]

Dear StardustHunter7, no-one is a lost cause. It's just that your experience of it at the moment is not positive.

It sounds like you are depressed and depression never helps you to be objective. May I suggest you talk to your doctor because there is a range of treatments that make a difference. The non-medical ones includes exercise every day, which has been shown to be as effective as medication. Muscles recently have been shown to be endocrine organs and need to be working to produce feel-good hormones.

You have to change patterns to start feeling good again.