Am I the asshole?

i can't stand myself. I feel needy and unworthy. My self esteem is in the toilet, and I have hidden inside since 2019. I can't seem to socialize, or want to, but I think I need to, just to prove that I can.

My wife's family seem to be shunning me now, along with all my neighbors. My logical side says these things are far-fetched, but my sensitivity to others says otherwise.

I even feel guilty looking at the happy face at the bottom of this compose screen.

Please teach me how to be stoic, since that seems like a path to happiness. I'd also really like to find a support group for addicted parents, and for PTSD.

After I wrote and posted this, I saw some other posts, one titled "Am I being pathetic?". I saw that it was 3 years old and had zero likes or comments. I have little hope that my post will be read, and even less that it will be replied to. Glad I used a fake name.

[Shysteve]

Hi good morning,sorry to hear of your difficulty with day to day life ,there are some absolutely amazing people on this site who listen with out judgment,welcome and best wishes ,steve

[Dolphin14]

Welcome to the community. I hope you find the support you need here. Sounds like you have a lot going on.

🐬

[Kelkel00]

Welcome to the site! You will find a lot of welcoming & understanding people here!

I am sorry you are feeling so down, I pray it gets better for you soon!