don’t know what to do

[dalia332]

So, I moved abroad for study and stayed in my older sister’s house for almost 10 months. It was a gift from her to help me at the beginning of an adult life. It was hard for me to be “normal” in her house, as in my parents house I was the one managing conflicts. For the first time I wasn’t the one taking care of ppl, but I was taken care of by her and her, at the time, husband.

I moved out almost a year ago, and I was able to get my life almost exactly as I wanted. Few days ago tho, I learned that it wasn’t my imagination, her husband was sexually attracted to me. It was one of the many problems with their marriage, not even close to being the biggest. But I cannot stop thinking about it. My relationship with sister probably won’t change, as we talked about it a lot and fully shared our feelings. I don’t feel guilty per se as well. But just to know that to some extent I contributed to my sister’s divorce that she really struggled through is horrible. I’m aware there is nothing to do for me at the moment. All I can do is be there for her. But I keep thinking and thinking about it, all the time, and I’m so tired. Breaking all the small situations in my head to analyze it makes no fucking sense but I continue to do it.

What’s also annoying about it is that normally I know what I need to get better. I struggled through depressive and manic episodes, social anxiety and burnout, and I have great support circle and system of dealing with shit. But right now I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I want to talk, if I want to hear something, or be left alone for a day or two to organize it in my head. I’ve just no idea.

[Blueruth]

you didn’t contribute to the divorce. Reality is married people can still be attracted to others. That’s not the problem. The problem is how they act on it. Whether he told her or she grew suspicious….he couldn’t be an adult and say “out of bounds, I’m married “ you also say it was one of many problems…an infatuation alone is again not enough to kill a marriage. If it was there would be no marriages left. Hope that eases your mind a little.