Don’t know what to do

[Lostonceagain]

I’m not happy, not that this is a requirement for life or to keep me going. But lately I’ve been more and more lonely and unsatisfied with my life. I just want to be able to live, to be free. It seems like I can’t. I barely make enough money to live on my own, if we’re to try id have maybe just 50 dollars left a month for food, but I make too much to qualify for assistance from the govt? No one really needs me. I’ve come to terms with the fact that one or both of my parents whom I live with are not mentally stable and just tend to make things worse for me mentally.. I don’t know how to escape, honestly I think I’m okay with dying, there’s still a few people I care about and my dogs but honestly they’d probably be better without me and I don’t know what to do.. I feel like if I reach out to the people who actually care I’d just be bringing them down with me and that’s not fair to them. What would you do?

[hypercat54]

Well how about an apartment share? It would be cheaper than living on your own. You could always get a part time job as well. Ok it's not ideal but it depends how much you need to leave your current environment. If it's that bad then surely anything can't be worse can it.

[Lostonceagain in reply to hypercat54]

That’s the plan currently, but there’s a lot of obstacles I’m not sure I can overcome between then and now.. a part time job on top of a full time job would be draining, but you’re right I guess I might have to considering where I’m at now.

[Dononcoach]

I’m not happy a lot like yourself! But you only live once. I’m very lonely 😞 myself I have a dog I love he means the world to me hang in there!! I’m here to talk if you want to 🙏

[needhelp2z]

PLEASE don’t give up. I feel down too and it helps when someone reaches out. I hope by reaching out you will see there are people who care. You are important, more than you realize. See if you can talk to someone who is a professional.

[Lostonceagain in reply to needhelp2z]

I’ve spent a lot of time and energy on professionals and it seems mostly like a band aid for a severed artery, it helps momentarily but in the end I feel like I’m the same place I started years ago, I’m just confused at the moment. Anyone reading this I’m not currently planning on hurting myself, I just feel so bad I know that’s where my mind is headed if I don’t do something soon.

[endofheartache1290]

I am sorry you are going through this and I feel the same way most of the time. You could try to find some roommates. That is always an option if you can no longer live with your parents. You an look for someone who is renting or ask a friend. If you are unsatisfied then try to do small things to get to the goals you would like to achieve. I know it's obvious but even doing something as simple as walking for 30 mins a day to lose weight is impactful. Self care and self love are key in finding happiness and feeling more satisfied. So you could do small things to work at that. Even something as small as a hot cup of tea for self care is wonderful. And as for self love, learning what your values are and what makes you valuable is important. I know it's rough but you will get through this. Just be kind to yourself and do what is needed for your own happiness. And if you need to find another place even if it's with a completely new person so be it. Obviously stay safe and screen people first. Get a history check where ever you go and so on. Stay safe. But again do what you need to for yourself because you matter and are worth it.

[Blueruth]

I think you are being hard on yourself. This is a horrible time if you are early in your career. Not comparing but I was out of work almost two years at one point. I had temp jobs but I ended up in debt for a long time. Idk what this period will bring. The income inequality scares me. I don’t think you are alone and I think there has to be help. This is just not tenable for anyone.

Look none of this is concrete advice because I don’t have enough specifics. I believe almost every city or state has a peer to peer Facebook or Reddit group to ask for help. In my city there is no shameful question. They ask for job ideas or assistance or rooms …anything. It might be helpful in reverse too. Maybe you can help someone else in need. Or maybe you might see someone in the same boat because I promise they are there. Hope that helps.

[Hidden]

Just don't give up hope. I care and you're not bringing me down. I'm at rock bottom myself. Focus on what you can do to help yourself, and not on what you can't. If there isn't much of other options so you can get away from living with your parents, can you at least get out during the day away from them somewhere, whether it's working a job or just finding a local coffee shop or restaurant where you can spend some time away???? I know Covid has made that difficult, but where I live they just eased some restrictions so the restaurants can reopen. Or even going for some long walks during the day to get away. And yes, that is what I do too!!!! 💖

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

Hi Lostonceagain. You assume people in your life who actually care would be “better off without you”. Is that really true? And how would you know if it was? Its a thought you have now because you are depressed. It’s very likely that you won’t feel this way when you emerge from the depression. Please stick around so you experience what that’s like. I’m not saying that your life doesn’t suck right now, just that YOU don’t. So what I’d do, even if I did nothing else, would be to try to believe that and reach out to whoever I felt I needed to.

[Oclaire]

Hi, you are not alone and you are very brave to want to make changes. I’ve lived with depression and anxiety since childhood. A counselor once suggested I set a simple goal each day and praise myself when I achieved it. This helps me stay positive and set realistic goals. Over time I learned how to set longer term goals. I noticed last fall that I was struggling to pay bills and was spending more than I could afford on snacks, beverages and lunch. So, I set a daily goal to bring beverages from home. The next week I packed snacks and the 3rd week I packed lunches. This has saved me a lot of money. My new goal is to pack healthier choices starting with snacks (which turn out to be less expensive). When I backslide, I praise myself for recognizing it. When I repeatedly backslide, I ask myself “why” 5 times to drill down to the real reason. And when I get to that answer, I often have to ask myself “why” 5 more times. It isn’t comfortable but it has worked for me. Another tip this counselor suggested was to genuinely compliment someone every day. This supports my focus to stay positive and to look for good things. I hope this helps and I wish you the very best!

[Gentlespirit]

Think of how much they care about and love you. Picture a pot with warm water not too hot and fill it with good memories good images good scents and hear it feel it sense it hold it and let it melt into your being your essence. Say it out loud. I am loved I am loved I am loved. I believe it. I do believe it. I am needed. I am needed. There is only one me. Noone else is me. I accept myself and others as not perfect and thats ok. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love endures. I will have an open mind as I rediscover redefine who I am. There are challenges there are deep valleys and mountains to climb not everyone makes it but I will keep searching a foothold here and pulling up and holding on and trying not to slide further. Breathing music meditation videos and podcasts coloring painting crocheting cooking baking reading journaling nutrition medication exploring new interests or hobbies or rekindling ones left and being mindful while filtering and processing. The garbage in and take the garbage out . Challenge the thoughts beliefs and habits challenge the inner critic who is not your friend and nurture the love within yourself. Go deeper to your roots your ethnicity and gain strength from your ancestors your family and individuals who care about you. You are Worthy. You are Not worth less. I believe in you others believe in you Believe in yourself. I will allow myself to be comforted but I will move forward . Take care

[Gentlespirit]

FcareFind yourself define and redefine yourself