Feeling completely lost and don’t know what to do

[supreemkai]

I'm 20. I haven't left my house for about a month other than for work 3 days a week. I don't have any interest in doing anything I used to anymore, exercise, hobbies, I dropped out of school after not showing up for weeks. I just feel completely lost right now. I'm in therapy, once a week, but I don't feel like it's really helping. I don't feel like doing anything because when I did do things and tried to be normal, my life was still miserable. I feel like I will be stuck feeling this way for the rest of my life and I am frustrated. I have thoughts of dying at night that usually keep me up. What I do all day is wakeup, eat breakfast, watch videos and write maybe, lay in bed, maybe watch something else, or sit around and do nothing, then just wait until I can go to sleep. I give up right when the day starts, and I tell myself the next day might be better, but I've been like this for almost a month. I don't know what to do, I really need help. If there’s any support group online I can join or something. I don’t want to do anything stupid.

[deblhotchkiss]

You seem to be having a major depressive episode. Have you considered medication? I would really recommend talking to a doctor/psychiatrist. I can definitely relate to what you’re saying. I can tell you I’ve been there. I’ve also made it through. The hopelessness is the depression talking. Do not give up. There are so many options for treating what you are feeling. You will get through this.

[supreemkai in reply to deblhotchkiss]

My therapy is online via video call. I don’t know about medication, from what I’ve read people say it completely numbs you, and sometimes it doesn’t work. If it doesn’t work I don’t know what I’ll do. I really feel completely hopeless that my life will get any better.

[deblhotchkiss in reply to supreemkai]

I personally have not had the experience that medication numbs you. For me, it just lifted the bad feelings and let me feel more like the real me. As for it not working, there are so many options that if one doesn’t work, there is always something else to try. I just think it’s something to consider to possibly help you. If you try medication and don’t like it, you can always go off it. I’m really sad you feel so hopeless and I just want you to feel better. Just know that the hopelessness you are feeling is because of the depression. There is absolutely hope. These feelings you are feeling are not forever even though they might feel that way.

[supreemkai in reply to deblhotchkiss]

And what do I tell my doctor? How do I even bring it up

[deblhotchkiss in reply to supreemkai]

Just say what you said here - how you’re feeling.

[Yuki6 in reply to supreemkai]

Medication has helped me. I will say I had to find the right one (it only took 2 different kinds) I can tell a difference in my mood now. The first medicine I did not like bc of how it made me feel but what I take now makes me feel “normal”.

I hope that helps and know that waking up each day is still a major accomplishment so don’t be so hard on yourself.

[supreemkai in reply to Yuki6]

And what exactly happened? Did you tell your doctor everything you were feeling? How does that work

[Yuki6 in reply to supreemkai]

So I went to my primary care doctor and let them know about my anxiety. The doctor prescribed one medicine and let me know that it does take I think 3 months to fully take effect. I tried it for almost a year and I had symptoms of feeling almost dizzy so we decided to try to change the medicine and it has been working for the past 7 years.

I’m not sure what practitioner you are seeing. But for me seeing the primary care doctor our conversation started by explaining certain symptoms I was having (rapid heart beat, tight chest, panicking) after running test and ruling out other health issues the doctor determined my symptoms were caused by anxiety and that’s when we decided to try medication.

[dk2019 in reply to supreemkai]

I"m in a similar situation, man. I lost my car back in March and have been spending more and more time at home, which is very unusual for me. Lately I haven't been going out very much, even though I can take public transport anywhere I want. I barely left my house in the last week. Very unusual for me. I know it's not a good sign that things are getting better - that's for sure. But now just getting out has become a "goal".

Only thing I can say that I think would be helpful for you is to definitely try medication! There's so many different types that make you feel every possible way you can imagine - not just numb. I can tell you from experience. If you want to feel more energized, there's something that will help. Or if you just want to pass out and sleep all night and start over the next day clear headed, there's something for that, too. But I am a huge proponent of meds if/when necessary. If you're not leaving your house and have lost hope and interest, totally depressed and miserable, it's worth a shot. What do you have to lose?

All the best. Truly.

[dk2019 in reply to dk2019]

If you do decide to try meds, ask your doctor about Wellbutrin, Lexapro, and Trintellix.

[Celtic27]

Hi supreemkai sorry to see your feeling so down has your doctor given you anything to help you meds are not as scary as they sound it's best to get on top of what sounds like depression please take it from someone who has suffered depression for a long time get what help is available don't let this beat you! Let me know how you get on!

[supreemkai in reply to Celtic27]

I haven’t gone to my doctor, I really don’t know what to say, and I feel embarrassed talking about it.

[JAYnLA in reply to supreemkai]

Asking your doctor for help with a depressive episode is like asking your deli counter attendant for a sandwich. This is what they do, and they are there to help in exactly this kind of situation. There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

[supreemkai in reply to JAYnLA]

I guess I just feel like I don’t really have a reason to feel the way I’m feeling. I just got worse and worse and I don’t know what to do.

[JAYnLA in reply to supreemkai]

You need to talk to a doctor. That is what you need to do.

[Meowmeows2]

I feel the same. Everyone seems to be enjoying life and I'm always sad.

[dk2019]

If you're not happy, let alone functioning, trying to rationalize "Why" you feel the way you d o doesn't matter. The important thing is to find what will help you feel better.