I feel like a fraud.

[Brooklyn99]

I feel like none of my struggles are real. Anytime I try to talk to someone about it, I feel like I am just faking to gain sympathy. I don't want to be a killjoy in other people's lives but I just can't do this alone. I am so tired and so done. The worst part is that I can't pick a side. It hurts so so so much that I can't take it anymore. I feel so guilty for feeling the way I do.

[Stippler]

It is easy to fall into believing what others say or believe about you. There are people in my life who don't believe in me, and it is easy for me to own their negative opinions of me. But we do hurt. Our troubles are very real. Our struggles are real. It might not seem so, because we are the only ones dealing with our own personal battles. You can and should be proud that you have been through this much, and have made it this far. Kudos to you! It is a testimony to your true bravery and courage. You may not see that right now, but that doesn't mean it is not there. I believe in you. Sending positive energy. 🙏🙏🙏

[Brooklyn99 in reply to Stippler]

Thank you for saying that. The thing is that people around me are actually very supportive and they believe that my struggles are very real and they try to be there for me as much as possible. I don't know why but I have a hard time believing that my struggles are real. I don't want to burden the people who are around me with my emotional baggage but I also don't want to do this alone. It's a hard line to walk.

[Stippler in reply to Brooklyn99]

It indeed sounds like a very hard line to walk. I can understand how your good intentions - not wanting to be a burden on others might lead you into judging yourself so harshly. I often don't want to complain, but I do hurt. I feel guilty for asking for the help I need, to the point that sometimes my own guilty feelings lead to my needs not getting met. Then, when others find out about it, they feel guilty for not helping me when I needed it. Maybe you could repeat an affirmation like, "My needs are as valid as other people's needs." Or something similar. I have family that largely ignored my mental health needs while I was growing up and it taught me that my needs are not important, even though they are. It is not easy to go without feeling guilty. You are not alone in this. Sending prayers. 🙏🙏🙏

[Brooklyn99 in reply to Stippler]

Thank you so much. It's nice to know that I am not the only one. I will definitely try to judge myself a little less harshly.