I live with a realy missy family and when i say messy I mean it i do always try to keep the house clean because when its dirty i get realy anxios some times i get panic attacs when it get raelly worst
cleaning became something i do to feel good i finf my self cleaning evry thing at any thime and i dont think there is something wrong with me because i enjoy it to be honest sometimes my perants and siblings get on my nerves because they dont really care if its tied or not and we always argue and its always irrated everyday
my parent start to stop me from cleaning as a Punishment and its the worst my mum keep saying things like this is my house leave it as it is , do this when you get your own house , leave if you can
and this realy hurt me in so mamy levels i cant wait tell i finish college and leave
also im not a native speacker Excuse my spelling mistakes, I'm working on that xd
Hello there!! I can completely relate to what you’re going through and I have been there. My parents house was really messy growing up and I think that’s where my anxiety somewhat started. I would get in arguments with my mom and made a vow to myself that when I moved out my house would never look the same. You are not alone. I understand the frustration especially because you’ll be the one cleaning something and it feels like no one else helps out and you’re constantly cleaning. It’s harder too because you know they are adults and they should be capable of cleaning up after themselves. It would always hurt my feelings because I took it personally, as in my parents didn’t care how us kids grew up and we weren’t good enough to have a normal life to live in a clean home. All you can do is just make your room/space clean and like your sanctuary. That’ll help you remember you have a space that’s your own and how you are comfortable. Then whenever possible, it makes a world of difference to move out. My relationship with my parents is better having my own place. I’d you need anything I’m here! Just wanted to respond so you know you’re not alone and I completely relate to what you’re going through 💜
You know, if you’re happy doing it and know it’s not taking over your life as a compulsion it’s fine (if you have your own room you can do it to your hearts content)
Try to flip this a little, you say you are calmer when it’s tidy and neat - hard to believe tho on the flip side - some people need chaos to function! Yes that’s right- they call it their organised mess! To them they sometimes know exactly where something is in the heap
Maybe your mum gets defensive as maybe she feels disorganised when you sort her stuff, maybe she feels guilty that she’s not like you and feels threatened and takes it personally as an attack as you do when she says stuff
If you can maybe think, ok I’ll spend more time in my happy room but try not to isolate yourself, when you come out to mess just say in your head, “ok it’s not my mess so I won’t worry about it” take a deep breath and think you and mum may get on better by meeting half way
i know what you are talking about my family mess is not ant organized mess at al lol , and im hella sure that how my mum feel when she see me caring and cleaning she kinda use that against me .
I feel for you, it’s sad you’re not feeling appreciated - it hopefully won’t be forever, one day you’ll have your own palace, until then - make happy thoughts in your head, hum or sing in your head, put headphones on to listen to music, podcasts, books so you can zone out - all the best to you x
I can relate, I have 4 brothers and living with them was torture. I would also clean every time and get anxious and frustrated which caused me to yell etc. The only difference is my mum would not tell me not to clean. Eventually I started to block off the mess as much as I can and focused on keeping my space clean always (my room) I avoided outside as much as possible. I spoke to my family about it and this helped for a while … honestly eventually I did move out because as small as it sounds that is very overwhelming. Try to keep your space perfect and block out the mess as much as you can until you are able to move. I hope it becomes easier *hugs*
Just a little devil's advocacy... Could it be that messy is your mom's way? A lot of people including myself get used to a cluttered space and like it. In fact if I organize to much I can't find stuff. A pile of papers is actually a good organizational strategy which I can explain if you want to know why. So the question is is it dangerous messy? Like are there dirty dishes and trash that never gets out for pickup and bugs? Or is it just that your clean tolerance is different? If the answer is yes to the last question then you may indeed just need to deal with it until you graduate or move out early. You could also talk to your mother about a compromise. Like maybe you own the kitchen cleaning rules but you leave the living room alone. There are definitely ways to make everyone at least tolerant if you are willing to compromise. In the long run it is good for your relationship.
Sympathy and hugs from a fellow neat freak! My mother was a terrible housekeeper, too. It's always been a joy to have my own home that's tidy....just give it time and you'll be on your own and can keep your home as you please!😊
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