long road to recovery

[halfwhole]

I have been struggling with my depression and anxiety since I was 14 (of and on having highs and very low times) I am 33 now I only started getting real help from a doctor about 2 years ago or so. It has been the biggest help ever as far as finding what can work for me and how to deal with this. I have always covered up all this with drugs and alcohol and living recklessly . Thankfully I am still here after all I have done to myself and even though I feel stronger and in control more and more I still have times where things creep up on me and I feel like 14 year old me again confused scared and thinking about suicide at times that scares me but it has helped talking about it with therapy and figuring out what treatments were rite . I really do feel more positive than ever in my recovery not just from substances but my mental health as well . I have come a long way and I want to keep pushing further in the direction I am going in and I really hope that I can talk with others and exchange opinions that will be helpful and really I guess I just want to keep feeling better and hopefully eventully be able to let go of the past more . I feel like it helps a lot to talk to others about this helps to know I am not the only one that might have some of these problems its a lot to deal with at once and I would hate for anyone to feel this way as I do but I am here for advice giving and am open to it as well thank you.

[Agora1]

Hi halfwhole, I'd like to Welcome you to an amazing forum of support.

I will admit that I never had depression but did struggle for many years with

overwhelming Anxiety that went into 5 years to Agoraphobia. The fears were

real to me and yet no one understood. Medication and therapy were my go to

during the beginning of my journey.

During the years that I was stuck in the house due to my fears, I learned more about

Anxiety and how it affects our lives and controls our minds. Deep down, I knew in time

I would beat this fear. I wanted my life back as well as being in control.

I started with Dr. Claire Weekes' book on "Hope & Help for Your Nerves" A book of the

theory that Acceptance of Anxiety can allow it to fade in time. I also introduced myself

to Meditation & Breathing exercises. That was the "key" to my success. I continue to live

each day with some "me time" "quiet time" for both my mind and body to regenerate.

I am now here to pass my success forward to others who feel this will never end.

Time and place for healing does exist when you are ready. It's an amazing feeling to have

your life back. I'm glad you are here with us in sharing our journey together. xx

[Lesud in reply to Agora1]

Hi Agora 1,I was diagnosed with agoraphobia last year and am curious if you could share what types of meditation and breathing exercises you did?

Thank you in advance.

[Agora1 in reply to Lesud]

Of course, I'd be happy to.

It is not an overnight success as it has taken a long time to get where we are with

anxiety. I will say that the cassette tape was given to me by a therapist many years

ago. It contains self hypnosis, visualization as well as affirmations. I've listened to it

over and over again and each time find something new that I didn't hear before.

I meditate 3x a day. First thing upon awakening, mid afternoon and before bed.

My brain is so accepting of these calming words that I can fall asleep within minutes

at night. In the morning it starts me off on the right foot..lowering morning anxiety.

Midafternoon, I may meditate for 5 min just to give my mind a reminder to relax and

breathe.

As for the breathing, it is deep abdominal breathing (watching the abdomen rise on

inhale and then exhale long and slow releasing the stress.

Breathing in itself was the "key" to my getting out of the house after 5 years. With

shoulders down away from the ears and breathing, my adrenaline levels were lowered

and I was able to drive and enter big box stores again. (Remember this is not overnight)

Let me take a look on YouTube, which is my "go to" and pick something simple to start

your new path. I am here 7 days a week and always reply to my private chats as well.

I will get back to you if not tonight than tomorrow. xx

[Agora1 in reply to Lesud]

Hi Lersud, add to my response...."imagery" very important part of my medication.

[designguy]

Welcome, glad you are here and great to read your story of recovery. I've found recovery is not a linear process but an up and down one and the good thing is that the peaks and valleys get lower and shallower as we go along. You are in the process of building inner strength and wisdom that will help you when the old thoughts and fears happen so you don't get stuck. The good thing is you can't unlearn all the good things you have learned. Just keep going and growing.