On the road to recovery

[ChristopherWisham]

I’ve got medication and a therapist scheduled so I’m on the road to recovery but still barely getting by I have derealization which is annoying and I’m plagued with existential thoughts which are horrible like questioning if I’m real or even thinking life is meaningless and obsessive thoughts about death not suicidal but almost like a phobia I hope this is just derealization cause I didn’t have these thoughts until I got this and emotional numbness part is terrible my worst fear is these thoughts will forever ruin my life and I won’t be able to live a normal life. I also have depression and anxiety from the existential thoughts but the medication helps with that I’m scared I might be having a existential crisis or something cause of the feeling of everything being meaningless and thoughts of death I just want to go back to how I was before all this. I had goals I was working on getting a job I had a purpose and meaningful life I enjoyed life I had something to look forward to but now it’s like I’m a alien in a strange world where nothing makes sense or has any meaning it’s strange and dark and even people look weird sometimes and I think I made it worse by watching philosophy videos as some philosophy’s are really depressing. So I post this with hope that maybe i will return to normal and enjoy life without fear anymore.

[Stilltrying_]

Yes let's hope you start to feel a bit better. Try and watch "ordinary" stuff if all the existential stuff is sending you into a panic. I get that too; I just try and watch a comedy programme. This life does not make much sense but we are here and need to make the best of it is my philosophy for now. Just live it out till it ends naturally. That's my take. Hope this helps x

[ChristopherWisham]

I watched some cartoons that I used to watch growing up and that helps me oddly enough the hardest part is staying distracted cause my brain wants to think about all the existential thoughts. Going outside is the weirdest part though cause everything looks weird and feels unreal I think distracting myself is the best thing to do I think this will go away but it will take time

[Calm_mama]

HI ChristopherWisham,

So glad you are taking some steps in a recovery direction! This is simply a sensitized nervous system. You can recover.

Please take a look at my profile where I have some excellent resources for anxiety, depression related to anxiety, and depersonalization/derealization. Each of them addresses, to some degree, DP/DR. My favorite is Dr. Claire Weekes' enlightenment video (it's audio only). She addresses this in depth in the most accurate way, IMO.

This is very common with anxiety. If you read through posts, you will see that people here have these sensations/feelings to some degree with great frequency. And the existential thoughts are common with intense anxiety and a sensitized nervous system. The more you practice acceptance of all of this, the better you are going to start to feel.

Accept, accept, accept- accept all of it. That is the key to recovery. Wishing you all the best!

[ChristopherWisham in reply to Calm_mama]

Thanks I will do

[Jimdubu]

I am sorry you are going through this. Anxiety is beast to wrestle, and you can’t do it alone. I As for myself I use medication, and lots of Prayer. . I’ve included a link on depression and anxiety. bit.ly/2mFxWoz I hope it helps. I also found a really good book called “Anxious for Nothing by a great writer Max Lucado. I’m sure you can find it on Amazon or at Barnes and Noble NOOK.

Something that does help, that I got from Max's book, is to look at or write down all your blessings. Once you see your actual blessings you start to feel happier.

Prayers my friend.

[ChristopherWisham in reply to Jimdubu]

Thanks will try one funny but scary thing that happens is the sky doesn’t look real to me

[Abbate22]

Hey man. I’m a 20 year old dude. I’m dealing with literally exactly what you described right now. I’m literally obsessed with these thoughts. Like literally what you described is how I feel. I try to talk to my friends and they just say like bro shutup or stuff like that. How are you doing now man? Let me know