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Long lasting symptoms

Ellesbells12 profile image
23 Replies

Hey everyone! I hope you are all keeping well!

Thank you all so much for your support on my last post! Really does mean a lot and I really do appreciate it :)

I’ve been finding my anxiety quite bad this week. Been very upset today, didn’t have any physical symptoms at the time, however now I’ve come to bed, I’m dizzy, have stabbing pains in my shoulders, arms and upper back and just feeling a bit off.

Does anyone else ever get this, even though they felt ok ish physically even when they were worked up?

Thanks in advance x

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Ellesbells12 profile image
Ellesbells12
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23 Replies
Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

Ellesbells, during the day what you are doing is a distraction: work can crowd out exaggerated fears that release too much adrenalin and cortisol hormones that cause high anxiety.

But when you go to bed it's another story: you have time to think and obsess and anxiety and its symptoms come to the fore. So it's perfectly normal to have those feelings as you wait for slumber to claim you.

Anxiety disorder is fear of the unknown. You just don't know how badly it can end. The good news is that the power of anxiety is limited and by understanding what is happening brings reassurance and stops us frightening ourselves to death every five minutes.

When our nerves reach anxiety overload they become over sensitised. In this state all our minor concerns and worries become exaggerated ten fold. A headache becomes a tumour. Tension in the chest muscles becomes heart failure. A new boss at work means we're bound to lose our job. Sensitive nerves always make us think of the worst case scenario.

But anxiety is whispering lies in your ears. These symptoms and worrisome thoughts are due to jangled nerves, not real physical illness. And the power of anxiety, horrible though it is, is limited: it cannot disable you or send you crazy. No death certificate ever had 'Anxiety' as the cause of death and none ever will.

Knowing the tricks that anxiety and over sensitive nerves play on us won't in itself cure us. But it reduces our levels of anxiety by replacing bewilderment with understanding. We can at least keep a sense of proportion.

Full recovery depends on us not adding second fear to that flash of first fear. Sensitised nerves thrive on fear hormones, they will recover soon enough if we deprive them of that which fuels them.

We must stop fighting our illness: fighting causes more tension and stress. We need less of those not more.

If we can learn to accept the bad feelings and symptoms just for the moment, agree to co-exist with them for the time being, then we stop pounding our nervous system with fear hormones.

Just by practicing Acceptance, as advocated in the books of Doctor Claire Weekes, we can take our first steps towards recovery and can regain the serenity of mind which is the birthright of us all.

Ellesbells12 profile image
Ellesbells12 in reply to Jeff1943

Thank you so very much, this post is amazing and really helped me take a different outlook on everything. Thank you it’s really helped :)

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to Ellesbells12

May I suggest you would find it most helpful in freeing yourself from anxiety if you read Claire Weekes' short book 'Self help for your nerves' available new or used on Amazon or Ebay. You probably don't feel like reading a book right now - but this book is a lifesaver and it's all about you.

I think Jeff is right. When I work during the day my pain level isn't as bad as it is at night. Wish I could be rid of my pain but everything has been done outside of surgery. Afraid to have that done.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to

Jeff1943 is very right. I one time was like you Sunlife and the many others on this forum.

I had more doctors than friends in my life. I was in my twenties at the time and had a team

of doctors in every specialty taking care of me. After years of my thinking they had to be

missing something, one of the doctors said he would prove to me once and for all that I was okay. He would do an Exploratory Surgery where they cut you from stem to stern and check out every organ. Of course it would leave you with a scar to remember all your life

in how Anxiety can cause you to go to outstanding lengths to prove a point.

Of course, I didn't have it done. I couldn't get out of his office fast enough. From that day forward, I started having a different way of thinking about Anxiety. The rest is history.

Those days are all behind me now. Not only am I "scar free" lol but Anxiety free as well.

In the end, I won. I no longer fought Anxiety but accepted it for what it's worth "Nothing" :) xx

Ellesbells12 profile image
Ellesbells12 in reply to Agora1

Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve been the same with my doctors, the only things they’ve founds physically wrong with me was I’m anaemic (which possibly is the cause for some of my symptoms) and then slightly raised blood pressure but that’s to be expected with anxiety. Think I need to start remembering these things when I’m the moment of panicking, easier said than done i know, but hopefully I’ll get there :) xx

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Ellesbells12

Ellesbells12, you will get there when the time is right for you.

Medical issues will always come and go and please always have them

checked out by your doctor. This is not an easy journey but just your saying

that "hopefully you will get there" gives me hope. Believe in that Ellesbells :) xx

in reply to Agora1

Question agora, is it possible that the anxiety that you and Jeff talk about so often can be different for others? Perhaps your system of acceptance and mental “toughness” is “tougher” than other people?

Perhaps you may feel a purpose that others simply do not have.

To serve a god.

To be there for someone who depends on you etc.

You have “found” that thing that helped you to exist peacefully in yourself.

Would you agree that some of us simply see existence in different perspectives than you ?

Please this is no disrespect, I just think that some of you “cured” admins have a very cure all attitude when it comes to suffering.

It will pass!

Just breathe!

My gram wrote a suicide letter, then took a swim into a lake and let herself drown. Obviously her fear had taken over.

And if the power to help you was inside you all along....than why the talks of therapy and meds?

It’s almost as though y’all used to believe in the powers mental illness and now you don’t.

So clarify for us still searching please.

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to

What you ask needs to be asked. Everybody's anxiety is different, everybody's situation is different.

But as Claire Weekes says: everybody has the power to recover no matter how big a coward they sometimes think they are. Myself and Agora and others who have found respite and recovery in her teachings are no braver than anybody else. Weekes says belief in God can be helpful but not essential, she herself was an atheist. I'm sorry your gran didn't get the help she needed to stop her dying by her own hand. Very sad.

In the end our nervous systems are basically the same and respond in similar ways. But not completely identical. I can only recommend 'cures' that I know about from personal experience. I don't even know what CBT is though I once had a course if it.

Btw Agora and I are not Admin here, we've both had postings removed recently.😂😂

in reply to Jeff1943

Thank you so much for your reply even though I know we didn’t have the best start on here. I truly appreciate the wisdom from long time sufferers because through this journey my perspective has constantly evolved. When we are in a “logical” state we can stay positive and sort things out....but when we are enthralled in depression it seems like such a far reach to begin to repair. I agree that acceptance and “floating” is sometimes the only way to not let it bring us into even more fear.

I apologize for the admin comment i was truly mistaken.....I’m just trying to make sense of this all in myself and be as open minded as I can to the many “cures” and ways that fellow suffererers seek to heal this pain of existing with questioned purpose.

Once again thank you so much for your time Jeff, it means the world to me and is priceless.

in reply to Jeff1943

My gram was suicidal.

Her daughter was suicidal(my aunt)

I have to believe that somewhere in my genetics things are being made a little different for me simply for the blood that flows through me. I’m not accepting this as absolute truth simply a possibility. That my aunt and gram faced similar perspective and physical feeling as I and just could never “find” that thing that makes us hold on. If we don’t have a reason to hold on and we do not fear the other side as much as fearing a lifetime of this...than depression takes a very dark appearance.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to

Hi Pittiedad9, I can only speak for myself however I was always an excitable child

while growing up. Nothing traumatic happened to me in my youth. I was however,

overprotected. "Don't do this or this will happen" "Don't eat that or you'll get sick"

When negative things are pounded into your head from an early age, the world becomes a scary place to be in. All this culminated into severe Anxiety when I left

home at age 22. Until the day my mother passed away, I was constantly reminded

that my decisions weren't worthy. Putting doubt in my life as an adult.

In my case, it was not a hereditary issue since I am the only one in the family who

had mental health issues.

Believe me I had no one to turn to who understood. Not even the doctors at that time. We may each have different reasons in how Anxiety took hold but the outcome is always the same. It can destroy one's life, relationship as well as expectations in going forward if we allow it to.

How we all cope is different. I am no stronger than the next person. I just got tired

of getting beaten down emotionally by this entity of fear. It took 5 years of Agoraphobia to draw the line that enough was enough. I would no longer allow family to belittle me because they didn't understand what I went through.

I spent 30 years dealing with the fear of anxiety. From doctors to therapists to medication. In addition I educated myself in the Mind/Body Connection to Anxiety.

I was trained in Biofeedback, Self-Hypnosis, Imagery, Affirmations, Relaxation and Breathing Techniques, Anything and everything that had to do with mind control including brain washing which was a technique to eliminate the negative thoughts because after all they were but a habit.

Last but not least was the turning point for me and that was I asked my psychiatrist to allow me to go in patient to the psych ward. I wanted to walk in and not wait to be

carried in one day.

It was a very positive experience for me. I was able to work on my issues, I had support and help 24/7 *which I didn't have at home. I wanted no visitors, phone calls

or mail. This was going to be my time to collect everything I learned over the years.

What I found most helpful was that each day had structure, no surprises. I spent 6 weeks there and really didn't want to go home but I did. It was then I applied all I had learned in the hospital, throughout my years of therapy as well as start applying

all I learned.

I could go on and on and someday I will write a book. For now I just wanted you to know that nothing comes easy for any of us. We all our human with the same fears.

Anxiety took many years for me to get a grasp of but not without a lot of hard work.

I got off my benzos years ago, I don't have therapy anymore but I do practice everything I learned by myself. My life is my own now. It's not perfect by any means but I've learned how to accept it for what it is. I can't tell you how amazing it has been to own my own life and no longer allow Anxiety to have ownership.

I wish you well. My promise to myself was to "pass it forward" which I have been given the opportunity to do on this amazing forum. Agora1 :) xx

in reply to Agora1

Thank you so much for spilling such honesty out to me. It is so appreciated and so valuable to me.

I was not overprotected....I left on my bike early and came home at dark as a child. My grades were only good enough to be eligible to ply football which I loved at the time because the anger I had at my new appearing mental issues was able to be taken out in a violent and physical way.

I was always the quiet creative family member....never did my homework and doodled in class. Always had a physical job.

I believe some acid trips and some hard partying nights def led to some sort of rooting of my depression or perhaps an unlock.

I have a beautiful wife and two wonderful boys and sometimes I can’t even speak to them the wave of invisible discomfort that comes over me as I stare into space trying to find something to climb back up with.

I have so very much to be thankful for and still get vacuumed into depression overnight.....

When I have the energy I fight like a mother....

When I don’t you might as well float me out to sea.

I’m sooooo thankful that maybe just from being so damn used to depression that I am getting really good at realizing that exact moment before I go over the edge.

So nice to read your words thank you so much Agora🤙🤙🙏🙏🇺🇸🇺🇸❤️

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to

Thank you too Pittiedad for your candid and insightful story of your journey.

It's interesting in how we all started out in different ways but for some reason

we all ended up with anxiety/depression. I wish you well as I also wish you success.

It feels good, doesn't it, to have a safe site to come to where you know the person

understands all too well what it's like. Stay safe my friend. :) xx

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to Agora1

Brilliant story and advice, Agora!

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Jeff1943

Thanks Jeff, no one could ever make up a story like we all have to tell :) xx

in reply to Agora1

What!? I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO BE ANXIETY FREE!!

You sound just like me! I've been to so many doctors! I wish I had one that actually cared an ounce to actually help me.

If you have any tips, PLEASE Share!

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to

Hi Pumpkin14, I hope you will give a read to the long answer

I wrote Pittiedad. I think you will find that it does answer your

question regarding any tips. I care and support you :) xx

And elles belles im sorry for not including you sooner....aches and pains are the first thing to come to me in a panic state.back of my neck and lower back. Keep searching for what works for you and trust your gut. Best of luck in your pains dear

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to

Pittiedad9, yes we did cross swords recently. I think it was over the G-man. But life goes on. I hope I wasn't too rude.

You raise several points essential to the understanding of mental health. One such is the question of inherited anxiety and depression. For some people it is a one-time reaction to circumstances and once overcome never returns. But for a large number of people it is indeed inherited. This includes me and Claire Weekes. I once wrote a post here 'My anxiety goes back to Victorian times'.

My mother had it. Others on her side of the family had it. One of my daughters has it. One of my grandsons has it. It is a little understood area of science but basically it means there is some genetic imperfection in our nervous system. Too much of one hormone is produced or too little of another.

If you fall into this category then you can still cure yourself with Weekes' acceptance method. But in time what we inherited will return. Weekes' believed that if you cured one episode using her method then you have recovered. Because if you have another episode you know exactly how to treat it, you've done it before, you can do it again and it's always easier the second time. So I am cured by the woman "who cracked the anxiety code" whom I revere second only to God and Roy Orbison.

You ask about different paths to recovery. Weekes' method is the only one I know. I hear good reports of other more modern self-help writers but I have never read them and never will. I am sure that there are good therapists but 20 years ago I went for a course at the celeb-famed Priory Clinic in London. I paid 1000 quid, the therapy was based on Cognative Behavioural Therapy. I didn't understand a word of it. I have had better conversations with product call centres in northern Nigeria. Even Freud towards the end of his life acknowledged that his method of psychotherapy produced few successes.

Medication has an important part to play, I have had good experiences with diazepam and amitriptyline. If you have a family to support and a job to hold down they will bring immediate relief. But nobody wants to take meds for ever. I know nothing of other mind bending meds.

Which leaves Weekes' acceptance method. I believe it's one size fits all. Weekes' believed that everybody could be cured by her method no matter how long or how deeply they have suffered.

I have been criticised for acknowledging "only one solution" before. But I am her disciple, I use the word advisedly, sometimes when writing posts I ask myself 'Who's writing this me or her?'

Pittiedad, I gather you have given acceptance a try and found it wanting. But maybe you were expecting an immediate result when you must 'Let time pass'.

I bet you haven't read 'Hope and help for your nerves' which explains all. If you have, read it again. Either way, it's never too late to join us as we travel with hope and great expectation along the Yellow Brick Road to recovery.

in reply to Jeff1943

Thank you all so much for your time sharing such stories and struggle with me.

Inherited A&D.

For years I have been beating myself up over this...questioning is it possible. Questioning if it’s nature be nurture. Being angered at my parents for hiding such family secrets for so long.

I didn’t find out my gram committed suicide till in my 20’s.

For years I lived at the lake where she drowned.

There have been times when I’ve hurried out of the water because of the presence I feel while in it.

Too many times I have been scolded at “you’re not your gram or aunt!”

No I’m not but maybe my system has the same bad wiring.

I can fully understand the “cure” Claire and yourself speak of now.

Once we accept that this is here and this is real and this isn’t going away...then we can repetitively bring ourselves back from the edge of every low, and it gets easier and hopefully remedied more hastily!

I’m going to ponder on this for a while Jeff. I feel like I’ve been waiting years for someone to simply tel me “yes you are genetically damaged and were the black duck all along” so I can feel justified in being so enveloped in this fight and move on with my life.

Have a great day sir and thanks again for everything

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to

Pittiedad, may I just add. At a rough estimate I believe up to a third of us with a&d have a genetic disposition towards it. That doesn't mean we must live a life of misery though.

Through understanding and anxiety management skills we can reduce episodes to few and far between with long periods of normal inbetween. Even on days when anxiety makes itself felt due to some extra stress or worry it can be confined to part of the day: either the first couple of hours on rising or later.

I must of course add that I have no medical qualifications and what I say is based just on my own experience and learning: the latter mainly from the writings of Claire Weekes which I first discovered on my mother's bookshelf in 1974.

I believe that some forms of depression are primary depression caused by some biological or hormonal imperfection. But I feel that most of our depression is what I call secondary depression. Which is to say we become depressed about having to face anxiety each day. When the anxiety is resolved the depression yields too.

Weekes' method is so, so simple to understand but this does not necessarily mean easy to put into practice. As I have written before, her protocols can be contained in six words: Face. Accept. Float. Let time pass.

Of course, Accept doesn't mean accepting the way we are without hope of regaining our quiet mind. God forbid! It means Accepting the symptoms for the moment, for the time being alone, long enough to allow over sensitised nerves to recover as we are no longer bombarding them with fear. People ask me how to Float and I reply "It's so simple, you just imagine an invisible force is propelling you forward as we complete our tasks and endeavours of the day."

I am only a poor advocate for her method, nobody can express and explain it like Weekes herself. I will leave you to consider the relevance of her ideas to your own situation, no need to reply now. I hope that this has given some hope that the cavalry are coming!

in reply to Jeff1943

Thank you for being so descriptive and taking the time to clarify!

I’ve been trying to “accept” for the long haul....not for the situation presented!

Jeff, thank you once agin for the time out of your day. Have a blessed evening, I look forward to more listening and learning🙏🙏

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