My Story

[theblackpanther]

I have had a very complicated relationship with my family all my life, a lot of gaslighting and abuse, finally I married someone I wanted which they didn't approve of and they cutoff all support and love from me, refusing to talk to me or engage with me, I am also having a very tough job, which is unstable and in a very isolated setting, with no support from my family also now, I am completely on my own. My anxiety and depression has really increased because even on days when I can't get out of bed, I have errands to do as I have no support, even with my job I have no social life, which makes me feel so unsafe emotionally

[Miagirl82]

I want you to know that I understand you. Dealing with anxiety and family issues is horrible. Specially when you need someone from the inside to understand you and give you support. I’ve been trying to focus on my self and I’ve put everyone in the back sit at least for a few month until I get back to feeling like I’m capable of taking care of others. I’ve been trying to lose weight and feel good about my self because is the only thing that will get me up from bed. To think that there is a lot of things I need to change in my life but I need to start with me. But again is easier said than done. Even though this is my mind set I still struggle. I hope you find something to inspire you to get up and keep fighting.

[dwhp]

hi tbp, hang in there. The pain is only temporary. You will feel better after you set your sight on being happy. We can choose to live happily every day or sad every day. Choose happy 😃 be well!

[designguy]

Sorry to hear you have such a crappy family, unfortunately many of us grew up in dysfunctional families with little or no support and lots of judgement, shaming and punishment from them.

One of the best things you can do is focus on putting your needs first and resolve your dependency on your family and accept that they aren't going to change but you can. You can learn to accept them as they are and no longer let them affect you, it's hard because of all of the conditioning you have had but it is definitely possible and much more healthy for you. Also working to improve your own self-worth and self-esteem will help you be stronger and more able to deal with you situation.

There is a lot of good info on youtube about how to do this as well as books and programs. One of the books I like is "Drive your own darn bus" by Julia Kristina she also has good youtube videos.

[theblackpanther in reply to designguy]

Thankyou for understanding

[Tara52]

I am glad you are here! Welcome! I think you are an incredibly strong woman to not let your family abuse you any longer. Continue to stand your ground and don't go back to your family until they can treat you with respect. . God will give you the strength and love you need in the meantime. Can you look for a more satisfying job where you are not so isolated? Keep looking, I believe if you make even the tiniest effort something will open up. I will be praying for you. 💗 Hugs!

[theblackpanther in reply to Tara52]

Thankyou for understanding and seeing my struggle

[JkBauer]

Good evening,

I am sorry to hear about all of your complications that you are dealing with right now.

One thing that my husband and I learned a long time ago, is to go out and find positive, supportive people to put into your life. When we moved miles and miles away from our family (job related). We had no family/ friends here, we decided to go to the local nondenominational church in town here and get involved and get our children involved. That was 22 years ago. Today the people in our church are just like our family. They are supportive and encouraging, helpful, and great friends! There is always a way! You just have to choose to take that first step and reach out.

God bless you! And I will pray for you!

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Welcome to the land of misfit toys. I kid but sometimes that's how I feel. A lot of us here don't have the Norman Rockwell painting of family life. My family is complicated. I take care of my elderly mom with the help of my fiance. My sister lives in another state so she can't help. And my other sister has decided she doesn't have a family anymore because of her drug use and her inability to stay on her bipolar meds. Its hard cause I have to fight with anxiety. And try to have a life. So I get ya.

You are not alone. Its hard out there especially to go at this world alone. But this is a good group. You'll find support here🫂

[Hidden]

theblackpanther, unfortunately, your job won't stop. Your errands won't stop. Your family's rift won't magically heal itself. The only thing you can do is change your mindset. E.g.:

• I hate my job, so I will continue to work here until I find a better one. Maybe I'll work for myself? Maybe I'll go back to school?

• I have no family. Well, actually, my husband is family, so I'm not completely alone. And I could try apps, hobby classes, (dog) parks, and gyms to make more friends.

• I have so many errands. Why? The PM isn't this busy! Could I pass some of these off to my husband? Could I eliminate some of them altogether?

These changes may take months - even years, but you're a big girl. You got this ☮️❣️