A thought

[Against_the_current]

I realized something. The most important thing around mental health is not judging. I was reading others posts and mine and i was thinking what i can say to help and what do we have in common and we do have a lot. And it stand out we re afraid of being judged. And also in my psychology student lessons i heard something that stayed. Never judge the one sharing with you. Third my psychiatrist said im emotionally reactive. This means my anxiety is fueled by me reacting to everything. Judging it. Can't accept it as it is. And neurotism itself is the disability of acceptance. Struggling. Constant inner and outter war. Inner critic, outter critic. No wonder my mind and body feel like i'm coming from war, no wonder i have severe ptsd. Can't accept nothing including myself. I'm cripped by guilt. No wonder i like mindfulness. Mindfulness is based on eastern practises like acceptance, zen, meditation. When i was doing yoga, the teacher was like "now that you're all tangled up, say some mantras like aum, om, Elsa like Let it go, F*ck it" and that's the only time my brain doesn't feel like fried spaghetti. I'm sorry my posts are weird, just my brain is fried and here i go judging myself again. See how acceptance is needed in this field? There's a joke about it - what's the difference between being insane and being neurotic - the insane one knows 2+2=5, the neurotic knows 2+2=4 but this seems awful

[Starrlight]

I love this topic; a great reminder to practice mindfulness and acceptance. I always feel like someone is watching me ready to tear me down. I end up tearing myself down before I even get started on things sometimes. I think this is my learned inner critics. I think the most judgement was coming from my father as a child. I will try have compassion for my inner child, for my soul that deserves more than what I was taught.

Mindfulness and Meditation along with practicing positivity helps us retrain our brain so hope is not lost.

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

Beautiful insights. I'm grateful my words resonated with you. 🙏💫💜I feel you. I feel criticised in everything i do. And i feel a lot of it came from my father. He wouldn't even let me be me. I had to constantly i press him. Be him. I couldn't be myself. And this transfered to everyone. Espessially guys. I can't be myself. I feel gudged. I feel criticised. I need them to accept me. I need people to accept me so i accept myself. And that's why i fall in the traps of weirdos online - because i feel accepted for who i am. Only ending up hurt and then when i try to share this, i feel/get judged for even responding to them. I need to feel accepted. Because i was never accepted by my caregivers. I was forcing myself to like what dad liked, listen to the music he liked, watch what he liked, have the knowledge he had. Otherwise he would shame me. I don't know what happened on a sertain historical date? Shame on me. I want to rewatch my comfort cartoon? Shame on me. I want to listen to music i like? Wear what i like? Terrible. And i even grew judmentful towards people who don't meet dad's standarts. For example i see my friends at university being themselves, being openly stupid to the point it's like a comedy but nobody gets offended we just laugh, listening to music that dad mocks and that i hate (for other reasons tbh) and i feel bad about myself because i feel like i hate my friends. I feel like why aren't they worried about appearing as stupid and shallow? I envy them. How can i be so bad friend. I critise myself. I'm even scared to start doing something because i'm scared of fallure.... Woah, that was so good insight

[Oshunlvr in reply to Against_the_current]

My mom used to say, " what will my friends say when they find out you did this wrong?" It was her way of building us to do what she thought was right. My sister and I finally developed a different attitude. We would ask my mom how her friends would find out or if she's embarrassed why would she tell her friends what we had dine? My sister and I developed a "Fv*k it" attitude. Now we don't care what others say about us. We all have to face criticism everyday, that's life. Its how you handle it that matters. Never be ashamed of being you.

[Itzallgood1 in reply to Oshunlvr]

I try to have that attitude too. When I hear someone criticizing me I just take it to heart and walk away feeling pretty low. Funny thing is how some can actually criticise others back but I just walk away.

[Oshunlvr in reply to Itzallgood1]

Walking away is good too, that takes more guts than I have. It's tough to not take it to heart though. It took me until I was in my 30s to start standing up to my mom. People like your dad and my mom have severe mental health problems and are usually very unhappy with their own lives. Usually, our mental health problems started with them., You have to stand up to them to let your own healing begin. You will get there if you keep telling yourself that you are good enough.

[Itzallgood1 in reply to Oshunlvr]

It is very hard to hard not to take it to heart. I think that's why I walk away so no one can see it affects me .

[Against_the_current in reply to Itzallgood1]

It is really hard. I tried to walk away and now i'm scared i will be a longer again

[Itzallgood1 in reply to Against_the_current]

It is a hard thing to do. Feels like I lost my self esteem when I walk away.

[Against_the_current in reply to Itzallgood1]

I know but yet that's when your self-esteem should go the highest

[Against_the_current in reply to Oshunlvr]

Yeah, my parents have issues too, That's where it all started. And the f it attitude is so needed and so hard to achieve

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((love and hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

Hugs and love xxxxx

[Itzallgood1]

Why do we judge ourselves harshly. I know I do that alot. But I really don't judge others too much because iny mind I'm worse than they are. Low self self esteem I guess.

[Against_the_current in reply to Itzallgood1]

It's called depressive approach i guess. I was too low during this class. Some people blame themselves but not the others. I'm like this too. Guilt trip be trippin

[Itzallgood1 in reply to Against_the_current]

Hugs

[Against_the_current in reply to Itzallgood1]

Hugs 😭

[designguy]

Good awareness, good for you. When we understand that when we are judging others we are actually judging ourselves and that others are a mirror of our own issues, we realize how important it is to quit judging our selves. I think it is a fine line between judgement and discernment and awareness helps us navigate that balance.

[Against_the_current in reply to designguy]

Thanks. Exactly. Espessially that recently i struggle with accepting others and self

[designguy in reply to Against_the_current]

You're welcome, sounds like you would benefit from learning more about how to improve your self-worth and self-esteem to be able to love and accept yourself more. You might check out youtube for info on it, i'm amazed at all of the information and resources on there now.