I'm really sick

[Against_the_current]

Rn being terribly physically sick, fever and stomache bug, couldn't sleep for 2 nights. Hope it gets better because i'm at university Monday. And because it's terrible and i keep Overthinking. I think "what if the water at my new place is bad and i got sick because i choose a bad place". I bought bottled water. And i start thinking "what if i didn't clean the place right? What if the place itself is bad for living". Things ppl say keep repeating in my head. Like i have an unimate that's always gasping "terrible" and it panics me. She said i should have gotten a better place. I had a week, this place suffer the war so it's overpopulated with refugees and the prices are higher than ever. She said she's moving out and offered her place because it has a kitchen but i don't have energy to pack, move, unpack, get used to a neighbourhood, lose my deposit. Also rn i'm at my old neighbourhood and have a tv, even though it's just a room. And i also think "im not taking good care of myself and the place. I need to clean more, i need to eat healthier". I'm trying my best to adult. To live alone, take care of myself, do chores, go to university while being mentally and physically sick. It's so hard and i keep on thinking im failing and it's my fault im so sick.Also someone really important to me said im really negative and they will stop talking to me If i'm "bitching". Overthinking this all night. I just struggle with my behaviour during enduring pain. We all do. But i guess im falling. My mental health so bad im failing at friendships and chores. Now physical is too. At least mom called me and i told her im really sick, she said my sister had it the same and so does my homecity. Which rathionalizes my thoughts, making me think "it's a virus, it's just a virus out break, it's not my fault.

[just_keep_swimming]

yea it’s not your fault you are sick and I too often overthink decisions I made or things that are said about me . I hope you feel better soon 💜

[Against_the_current in reply to just_keep_swimming]

Thanks 💜

[SoporRose]

The flu is supposed to be spreading all over. Catching whatever you have is in no way your fault. I remember a couple times in college when viruses laid everyone — students, professors, staff — low and classes kept getting cancelled because the teachers couldn't get out of bed. Being sick just makes everything, including our thoughts and insecurities, so much worse. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thank you! And you're so right